The Coodabeen Champions Competition
Round Six:
According to our Adelaide correspondent, Tony McGuinness, there was a clear winner at the Ramsgate Hotel
Select a suitable side for a return encounter,
from the backline......:
Date: Sat, 04 May 2002 22:43:40 +1000
The difficulties at the Ramsgate have been overstated. Any gathering of red blooded young men can get out of hand for a variety of reasons. The performance of the two Adelaide sides are reflective of the mid 70s when Bull and Punchy, trainers at Footscray Football Club, inhabited the bar at the Plough Hotel. The team I would send to the establishment would be empowered to change the culture of violent solutions to any dispute.
B: Judy Green - a conversation starter in any company Gentleman Jim Cleary John Schultz - Brownlow medallist 1960 and tribunal member
HB: Rayden Tallis - Got his head stomped on by Dermott and only wanted a free kick. Gary Hardeman - Refused to even attempt to intimidate opponents. Alec Epis - A talker not a fighter
C: Des Meagher - Could not kick but could always smilingly face the crowd as he walked from the field. Peter Featherby - Never laid a hand on an opponent in anger. Neville Bruns - You can't start a fight with a wired jaw.
HF: John 'Swooper' Northey - No-one took any notice Bill Duckworth - Happy in the public bar. Helen D'Amico - Ask the doormat.
F Matthew Lappin - serial victim of wildly swung punches Jason Dunstall - Leading goal kicker with Hawthorn - say no more! Bob Pratt - Just to hear the stories.
Cheers, From Nicholas Crilly and Matt Johnson.
Date: Sun, 05 May 2002 12:47:48 +1000
The capricious comp-troller,
BACKS Ricky Ponting Mike Tyson Robyn Maher
HALF BACKS Geoff Rosenow John Wayne Bruce Lee
CENTRES Geoff Cunningham Brutus Peter Cosgrove
HALF FORWARDS Bob Chitty Eric the Red Al Capone
FORWARDS Lara Croft Han Solo Clint Eastwood
RUCKS Norman Schwartzkopf Keith Richards Attilla
INTERCHANGE Josef Stalin Norman Bates Carlos The Jackal
Margaret Thatcher
COACH Winston Churchill
PRESIDENT George Washington
Greg (and a very underrated Sue) Hoysted
Date: Sun, 05 May 2002 14:23:42 +0800
In a quest to return to, enhance and establish traditional values, the first
thing to do is rename the Ramsgate. Perhaps we need more Savoy Hotels
(Adelaide, Perth and Melbourne are currently seem deprived of the
traditional benefits of a Savoy) and where better to start changing the name
of the Ramsgate than by looking at the cast of the Mikado to compile a
little list. To enhance my chances I avoided the temptation to attempt
alternative libretto, surely this is your area of expertise Simon. To
achieve our sublime objective we would need to assemble the cast at the
Henley Beach establishment. Those successfully auditioning have been
selected from current players. The tradition of selecting state teams from a
club quota (2 per club) can be revived and applied to the chorus. The leads
and their understudies should make for an interesting contest:
CHARACTER PLAYED BY UNDERSTUDY
CHORUS OF SCHOOL GIRLS NOBLES GUARDS
ADELAIDE M Riciutto A McLeod
Chris Watts
Date: Mon, 06 May 2002 09:59:54 +1000
After the Tiges were monstered by the might of the Crows last Saturday it
isn't hard to imagine a Ramsgate free for all!
Backs: Mark Jackson Ron Andrews Makepeace
HBacks: Smart Glass Johncock
Centre: Walker Long Pickett
HForw: Garlick Burns Cornes
Forw: Filandia Ball Feast
Foll: Braun Hart & Power
Interchange from "the families": Prestigiancomo, Ricciutto, Alessio
Capuano & Dal Santo
Cheryl Harvey
Date: Mon, 06 May 2002 11:57:45 +1000
Dear C'abeens, have alook at this & award me the prize!!!!
B. Stibbard Proffitt Beecroft
H.B. Ivanoff Owen Greening
C. Critch
H.F. Holt Rasmussen Harland
F. Clark Cook Christou
R. Aanenson , B.Evans
Rover. P.Goss
I'cange K.Goss G.Allen
I reckon this team would make mince-meat out of those poofy "Rooshooter &
mates", as a matter of fact, probably only Buster & the interchange boys'd be
needed!!!
Regards, Greg Moss
p.s. the team is of course the 1977 (Centenary) Premiership team, who quite
coincidentally, won by 100 points!
Date: Mon, 06 May 2002 14:09:55 +1000
Dear Simon,
Thanks for providing me with my first media prize since I went back to back
in '71/72 with 7's Penthouse Club's trots tipping comp. at the Showgrounds
and 3DB's single giveaway of your choice (American Pie).
I believe protocol is that I now submit short pithy entries in the hope of
getting the odd mention, to wit:
Any function involving past and present St. Kilda Board members.
Regards Paul Prole or "Smithy" if that's easier.
Date: Mon, 06 May 2002 18:55:33 +1100
Gday Simon,
Being a devoted Bombers fan, i was going to pick a team from the
backline showing you all the tough-nut bombers from over the years, to
dispel that widely-rumoured myth that we are soft. However, since
watching (well, actually, not watching, thanks very much channel 9) the
game on saturday, i have realised that we are in fact too hard for our
own good. Way too hard. Way way too hard. If you think that The Captain
Of The Crows v Some Mob From Alberton was a tough one, wait till you see
the "Mark McVeigh (aka 'The Fracturer") vs Everyone Else" steel-cage
death match out in the carpark. Way pay $600 to watch the WWF at
Colonial when you can see just-as-rididulous-looking collisions when you
watch Essendon play.
Of course, this wouldnt be the only event for the night, if youre
lucky, you might see the tag-team match, where the Essendon team passes
the balsa-wood chair to each other so the clueless opposition dont know
which one of them is going to hit them with it. Although, i can let you
in on a little secret, ive been studying their tactics for a while now,
and i think (???) that i can finally reveal the oh-so-secret fact that
the chair is usually passed from Fletcher to Wellman to Misiti....
cheers mate
Date: Tue, 07 May 2002 02:49:33 +0000
Dear Simon
re: Ramsgate fantasy
You did say fantasy, Simon, so I'd put Port Adelaide AND the Crows back in
the carpark, then arrange a little visit from all the girls who send email
to my hotmail inbox (a team long on aggression AND promise)
From the backline:
Amber Candy and co. who from all available evidence appear to be skilled and
flexible athletes, would use their boldly-advertised thigh muscles to
scissor-grip Carr and Ricciutto into submission - and any other two-bit
creep who wants to be next in line.
At the end of the day, with noone left standing, decent family values will
be the real winner.
cheers Simon
Stuart McArthur
Date: Wed, 08 May 2002 04:02:59 +1000
The Ramsgate XVIII
B :
HB :
C :
HF :
F :
Rucks :
Interchange :
Coach : Ambrose Palmer (Footscray)
from : Adrian Jackson, Blackburn South
Date: Tue, 07 May 2002 21:25:22 -0500
Hi fellas,
Throw in a few beers and this line-up would have that Ramsgate joint
pumping:
Backs: Bea Smith v The Freak, Frankie v Vinegar Tits, Lizzie Birdsworth
v a bottle of
metho.
Half backs: The Hatfields v The McCoys, The Montagues v The Capulets,
The Pettingells v The Reids.
Centres: Hazel Hawke v Blanche Dalpuget, Hillary Clinton v Monika
Lewinsky, Princess Diana v Camilla Parker-Bowles.
Half forwards: Rose Porteious v Gina Reinhart, Anna-Nicole Smith v
Howard Marshall's family, Normie Rowe v Ron Casey.
Forwards: Gough Whitlam v Sir John Kerr, John Howard v Andrew Peacock,
Amanda Vanstone v Christopher Skase.
Followers: Phil Carman v umpire Carbury, Neil Balme v Geoff Southby,
Chad Davis v Peter Filandia
Coaches: Tony Jewell v Percy Jones
Go (even more hopeless) Tigers,
Date: Wed, 08 May 2002 12:38:15 +1000
Ramsgate XVIII
B: ANTHONY ROCK
RICK KENNEDY
DENNIS BANKS
HB: GEOFF CLARK (Ex-Subi, currently playing for ATSIC)
E J WHITTEN (Mortlake Cup evictee late 60's keen to take on all )
RON ANDREWS (Token publican)
C: DARREN MILLANE
JAMES BUCKLEY
DES TUDDENHAM
HF: GARY ABLETT
MAL BROWN
ROD OWEN
F: STUART GULL
RICKY MCLEAN
ANTHONY LOCKETT
FOLL: JOHN NICHOLLS (Coodabeens GF Brekky 1987 at Loaded Dog for one)
MARK RICCIUTTO
JAMES KRAKOUER
INTER:(FROM) ROD GRINTER DAVID SCHWARZ DERMOTT
BRERETON
STEPHEN TURNER BRENDAN FEVOLA DAVID RHYS-JONES
SECOND XVIII
FROM: GEORGE ALLEN BOB PROFFITT GRAEME "BUSTER"HARLAND
KEVIN GOSS PAUL GOSS NORMAN BROWN ANTHONY HAENEN
SAMMY HOLT GREG DERMOTT FRED COOK SID ANDERSON
GRAEME ANDERSON VIC AANENSEN BILL SWANN
AND 4 OTHERS WHO HAVE SLIPPED THE MEMORY BANK (WITH APOLOGIES)
Date: Wed, 08 May 2002 18:05:45 +1000
Simon,
At times people question your ability to appropriately judge a
competition winner. In fact there have been instances whereby an
entry that shows the most remote quota of talent and humour has
somehow been plucked out of obscurity and thrust into the 'winning
circle'.
It makes one feel that the lesser the effort - the greater the reward.
Subsequently, so far this season I have gone to the extreme measure
of not sending in any entry at all in an effort to substantially
improve my chances of winning that elusive first prize. But still no
reward and one has to question whether there is a definite bias
against contestants of my stature especially when one goes to such
little effort to impress the judge.
Anyhow to this weeks entry:
Due to injury both clubs have delved into their Supplementary Lists
for the next "Showdown II at Ramsgate"...which could outsell
Wrestlemania for pay TV records if shown on Foxtel.
PORT ADELAIDE
BP: Sniper McGhie Tall tattooed defender with no teeth, no
neck and no commonsense. Occupation: Wharf Worker
HB: Crackers McGovern Straight ahead type who takes no
prisoners. Has no teeth, no neck and no commonsense. Occupation:
Wharf Worker
W: Shifty McDaniels: Elusive and works best behind the play.
Has no teeth, no neck and enough commonsense to keep out of the pack.
Occupation: Wharf Worker
HF: Basher McGough Back from suspension (i.e. on parole). Has no
teeth, no neck and no commonsense. Occupation: Wharf Worker
FP: Scratcher O'Connell Goes for the ball (No Peter Filandia
jokes please!!) with no teeth, no neck and no commonsense
Occupation: Wharf Worker
Rucks: Massive O'Flaherty 6 ft 10 inches and 125 pounds
with no teeth, no neck and no commonsense Occupation: Wharf Worker
I/Change: Pretty Boy O'Neill Has one tooth, no neck and no
commonsense Occupation: Wharf Worker Squatter McStevens Missed last weeks match with a broken leg Occupation: Wharf Worker
Boofa O'Driscoll Veteran who struggles to last the entire 10 minutes Occupation: Wharf Worker Stabber McNorrish Escaped trial by video last week. Occupation: Wharf Worker
ADELAIDE
BP: Tyson von Ryan Tall, blonde, blue-eyed, athletic and statuesque
defender Occupation: Night Club Security Officer
HB: Franz Steinberger Tall, blonde, blue-eyed, athletic and
statuesque defender. Occupation: Night Club Security
Officer
W: Ryan von Tyson Tall, blonde, blue-eyed, athletic and statuesque
midfielder. Occupation: Night Club Security Officer
HF: Tyson von Schneider Tall, blonde, blue-eyed, athletic and
statuesque forward. Occupation: Night Club Security
Officer
FP: Wolfgang Schneidenheimer Tall, blonde, blue-eyed,
athletic and statuesque forward. Occupation: Night Club
Security Officer
Rucks: Berti von Hahnsdorf Tall, blonde, blue-eyed, athletic and
statuesque ruckman. Occupation: Night Club Security
Officer
I/Change: Hans Wolfgang Tall, blonde, blue-eyed, athletic and
statuesque Occupation: Night Club Security Officer
Eric von Schnitzel Tall, blonde, blue-eyed,
athletic and statuesque Occupation: Night Club Security
Officer
Fritz Heisenberger Tall, blonde, blue-eyed,
athletic and statuesque Occupation: Night Club Security
Officer
Boris Tysonkleiner Tall, blonde, blue-eyed,
athletic and statuesque Occupation: Night Club Security
Officer
May the best team win
Regards
Glenn Smooker
Date: Wed, 08 May 2002 21:44:50 +1000
This is a team more than capable of handling the Hotel drama and getting it sorted.
This team may well have a checkered history but is very experienced and very
committed to the cause. It is made up of past and present players and is a dream team. They will not panic and have a history of both actions and
words. Sure, it is a mixture that may not look cohesive on paper but in
reality they have bite^.
Some in this team will appeal to that ordinary beer drinking working man
type and others are somewhat the will-of ^÷the-wisp type, that would be
very much at home in the ladies lounge area sipping a chardonnay. See if you
can identify the different types. In keeping with the current system, this
team has been selected from all over Australia and provides much depth. You
may be surprised by some selections but dont let appearances fool you.
Some are noted to be good on the right, yet many are strong on the left and,
as always, some just stick to the centre. Many are considered as enforcers
and others are known negotiaters, but this is what is needed in this
situation. Their aim is to stop the disturbance with the best possible
outcome, by whatever means.
May I present , THE AFLNS* TEAM OF THE CENTURY.
*AFLNS is the Amber Flowing Liquid Nicely Society .
Back Line Wilson Tuckey. E.G.(Gough) Whitlam. Malcolm Fraser.
Half Backs Phil Cleary. Mark Latham. John Faulkner.
Centre Andrew Peacock. Bob Hawke (CAPT) Alexander Downer
Half Forward Henry Bolte. Bob Menzies. John Howard
Forwards Paul Keating. Robert Ray. Simon Crean.
Rucks. Kim Beazley. Peter Reith.
Rover. Graeme Richardson (V.C.)
Interchange Jeff Kennett. Phillip Ruddock. Peter
Costello. Tony Abbott.
Coach Joe Beljke-Petersen.
Kevin McAloon
Date: Thu, 09 May 2002 07:26:18 +1000
Dear Simon,
There is no need to name these players from the backline.They just wont line up
as selected.
The establishment is called the "Maggot-gate Hotel". It suffers from the flooding syndrome, in an area dubbed the forward pocket. You know, that
confined space in the corner of a pub where you will inevitably find an
extension to the bar, a TAB window AND the doors to the loos!!!
This was always going to be a dubious donnybrook, with plenty of colour and
opportune oomph!
Standing at the bar, having already downed numerous pots we have Drew Petrie,
Todd Curley, Adrian Fletcher, Mathew Nicks, Brent Harvey, Adam Simpson, Nick
Stevens, Ben Cousins and Paddy Clarke ( the Irish International Rules selector
).
It was probably a directional error by the newly arrived umpiring group. With
Jeff Gieschen, Rob Anderson, and David Howlett leading the group into the above
mentioned forward pocket it was about to become painfully obvious to Brett
Allan, Rod Jeffery, Kieron Nicholls, Matthew Head and Bryan Sheehan, that
ironically the paths of these men would cross yet again.
Paul Martin.
Date: Thu, 09 May 2002 11:47:15 +1000
In relation to this wweks task of selecting a team to be sent to the Pub
brawl in Adelaide I faithfully submit that only 2 players would be needed
as opposed to competing teams therefore I submit that the 2 players I
would send are the 2 players who I've seen throw the best punches on an
AFL/VFL footy field.
1. Don Discher (St Kilda) 1979 Collingwood v St Kilda at Victoria
Park 3 of the best punches you will ever see. Billy Picken taunted the
big St. Kilda
ruckman/Policeman by tapping his chin in the old "have a go"
gesture. Don Discher subequently obliged Billy and sat him right on his
backside with
a beautiful right cross. Ricky Baham was next and Big Don
completed the trifecta flattening Ray Shaw. Jolly good show.
2. Phil Carman (Collingwood) 1977 second semi final a beautifully
thrown right jab that landed on Tucky's jaw and set in place a catchcry
that thousand's
of whining Collingwood supporters still use to this day, "If
Carman hadn't have been rubbed out we'd have won the 77 Grand Final" Well
they didn't
but that punch certainly qualifies "Fabulous Phil" for a Guensey
in any pub brawl and the benefit is , He's already over there.
Darren Wharton
Date: Thu, 09 May 2002 13:06:19 +1000
Any player who survived the heydays of the VFA especially the 70s & 80s
like....
Mi ck Thompson (Port Melb, Oakleigh)
Arrh, the memories...
The video highlights are not suitable for "Fox Footy" but for "the Main
Event Channel"
Yours Faithfully
Date: Thu, 09 May 2002 14:00:45 +1000
Just a few positional match-ups
Revenge of the Nerds:
The Squirrel Gripper/Nipper Action Faction
The Asylum Seekers Action Group
Michael from Mentone
Michael Fry
Date: Thu, 09 May 2002 13:59:58 +1000
GEOFF CUNNINGHAM ST KILDA
GEOFF "BORER" CLARK SUBIACO/ATSIC
ROBERT MUIR ST KILDA
DES TUDDENHAM ESSENDON
ANTHONY LOCKETT STK /SYD
JOHN NICHOLLS CARLTON
MALCOLM BROWN BALLY HALL RODNEY GRINTER
STEPHEN TURNER DOUG BOOTH GEORGE ALLEN (PORT MELB)
SECOND XVIII
GEORGE ALLEN
GREG "BIFF" DERMOTT
BILLY SWAN
DAVID "SAMMY" HOLT
GRAEME ANDERSON
VIC "STRETCH" AANENSEN
TONY EBEYER
FROM:DAVID MCNIECE (enrico misso appn society)
Date: Thu, 09 May 2002 14:06:47 +1000
Dear that bloke whose best man was Stuart McArthur,
Clothers defineth the man some would say. In football, however, tattoos
defineth the man. The Ramesgate 18, or any 18 would cack themselves against
the mighty Knuckles.
I am sure many entrants will load up their teams with renowned tough fellas,
but, in the end, a prominently placed tattoo can do the trick.
So, from the back line, here are the tattoos adorned by The Knuckles, the team to teach infamous Ramsgate 18 a footballing lesson they'll never
forget.
It must be stated that all tattoos are best adorned on the bicep, however,
as you will see, some are best utilised on other parts of one's anotomy.
B: Born Bad; Spider webs on the elbows; Skull and cross bones
HB: AC/DC; Indian Chief with Feathers; Picture of a fierce Panther with
red eyes
C: Barbed wire Celtic arm band; Tears running down cheek; Burnsy (name
written upside down so the owner can read it)
HF: A scroll containing Shazza ; Eagle with steel talons; Black
Sabbath
F: Leaping Tiger; Shark; F$*k Off!
R: Bowie Knife
RR: Swallows on neck
R: Mermaid
There you have it. If you lined up on any on any of these players you know
that you would be in for a tough day!
Whack!! What was that? 'Oi you with the tat!'.
Cheers
Tim Goddard
Date: Thu, 09 May 2002 15:51:55 +1000
Here is my team for the big pub fight.
B : Wanganeen Silvagni Ayres
My team was selected not so much on their ability to fight but their
ability to not get in trouble. This is a team of players you can not
touch!!!!!!! that's why there are so many Carlton players. The reasoning
for my team being successful is that Silvagni will have Rocca in a
headlock yet Rocca will be the one who gets arrested, you can't beat that.
Adam Ellerton
Date: Thu, 09 May 2002 16:44:53 +1000
B: The Junk Yard Dog 3-headed dog from Harry Potter Scrappy Doo
(Scooby^"s cousin)
HB: Robbie McGhie Robbie Coltrane
Robbie Muir
C: Bruce Lee Steven Segal
Jean-Claude Van Damme
HF: Godzilla King Kong
Tassie Devil
F: Gina Rinehart Buffy
Rose Porteous
R: The Rock
Rover: Jackie Chan
Ruck Rover: Russell Crowe
Inter: Chopper Reid, Dennis Hopper, Margaret Thatcher, Mike
Tyson
Coach: Charles Bronson
Jeff (from Kilsyth) Salton
Date: Thu, 09 May 2002 20:48:54 +1000
F.BVINNY WAITE COWBOY NEALE MAL BROWN
Julia Frederico
Date: Thu, 09 May 2002 20:40:41 +1000
With all of the excitment of the last two weeks with biting and kneeing these
are hard to compare to recent history however the first thing that came into my
head was not a Boxing match BUT a HARDCORE WRESTLING MATCH with no rules and we
have five teams in contention:
Who could forget the famous bloodbath grand final between South Melbourne (NOT SYDNEY) and Carlton.
Also we need tto have FOOTSCRAY or is it Western Bulldogs with their choice of
Opponents of Brisbane OR West Coast Eagles
Beter still we will have the WWF style all in Brawl with the above 5 teams with
guest apperances by Phil Carmen for the headbutting the assigned Ref. Mr
Plugger Locket to lend a hand in straighting out a crooked nose and Mark
Mcveigh to lend a knee where needed.
Peter Filandra still has to miss as he is still serving his ten match
suspension.
In the coaches corners we have Tony Shaw and Greg Williams to talk up the
action.
After the initial ref is knocked out by Phil we have Jack (Captain Blood) Dwyer
ref the match out.
Love the show and keep up the good work
Date: Thu, 09 May 2002 22:28:06 +1000
DEAR SIMON,
Ramsgate - a more important historical occasion than Watergate - to
Adelaide people!
The extravagance of the late eighties is long gone, so lets cut costs by
sending the local teams (Port and the Crows) back to the famous pub.
After all, they have UNFINISHED BUSINESS!
We need to get both teams inside, lock the doors and let them go hammer and
tongs at unrelenting, uncompromising conflict resolution. I reckon about
two hours behind locked doors ought to be sufficient for the boys to unload
all their emotional baggage, say their sorrys and generally end up with a
healthy, constructive cross town rivalry.
To finish it off, Governor John Landy could pose this question to a player:
Theres a minute to go in the next Showdown. You are deep in attack and
trailing by five points. Your opponent and yourself are the only ones
forward of the centre. As you both sprint for the ball, your rival stumbles,
falling flat on his face. What do you do?
Its obvious replies the footballer, I stop to help him to his feet. He
will, of course, protest, insisting I leave him lying there while I kick the
goal. But no! I must stop to help my fellow South Australian. Then, once he
has regained his feet, we both can continue our pursuit of the ball.
"Correct!' exclaims Landy. "Thats the way we played it in my day.
All players could leave the Ramsgate, confident that law, order and respect
for ones fellow man has been restored to the City of Churches.
Doug Long
Date: Thu, 09 May 2002 22:51:43 +0000
B: KYSELLA FRY TOOHEY
HB:HARVEY JAC & PETE LAING
C: BULL HOYSTED KIRBY
HF: FORDRED HOYSTED O'Sullivan
F: HONEYCHURCH YANK GILLIES
FOLL: GODDARD TRESEDER NEWPORT
INTERCHANGE: RUSSO'S
Would like to Meet with
SIMON WHEELAN at the Ramsgate Hotel
To discuss "Why Didn't My Entry Win?"
Date: Fri, 10 May 2002 09:03:38 +1000
Simon, in response to this weeks competition the question needs to be
asked
Why go to Adelaide for a pub brawl? I suggest that a better idea would
be a Saturday night carnival held every 2 weeks in the Burvale Hotel
Carpark. Each week the opposing sides shall get there friends to create
a circle in the carpark in their magged-up, freshly sprayed falcons and
commodores and each opposing player shall enter the "midfield" throwing
rights, left, coathangers or helicopters if they so desire.
If one connects the circle of cars shall honk in recognition.
But now for the all important first round highlights from the best 2
games of the round
Game 1: Braybrook Under 19's v Diamond Creek Thirds (BHC Burvale Hotel
Carpark)
Highlights: watch out for the Braybrook full-forward who was missing
from the action after trying to knock of an unmanned car during the
half-time interval when the occupants went to the tuck shop to get some
dim sims
Round 2: Redfern Firsts v Geelong Grammar U16's
What an absolute shocker of a game this was. Televised live outside
Sydney, this was an absolute walklover since the boys from Corio Bay
didn't show up. The response from the coach was the usual "we thought
there was going to be some early snow but we were severley
dissapointed".
Darren Brookes
Date: Fri, 10 May 2002 09:31:01 -0700
Working on the theory that a champion team will always beat up a team of champs
I
have resisted the temptation to load an all stars thumpathon team of hairy
knuckled,
monobrow, Neanderthal bruisers like Ditterich, McLean, Muir
etc but gone for boys who wore the red and black at Windy Hill, surely
suburbia's most
dangerous ground for spectators.
Their opponents are the following bunch of Sth Aust nancy boys and wimps and
chadonnay
socialist types that all red blooded Vics would love to see get a good slapping
or a fist in the gob
JOHN SUTTON
Date: Fri, 10 May 2002 10:45:55 +1000
To quote you, "Simon, had a good idea for the competition this week", but I
will move onto other entries. What a vague competiton topic. Even a fellow
Coodabeen agreed that the topic was a bit vague when questioned about it the
following day. Never the less, I will try my arm once more on the hope that
this will be read, or at least mentioned and left un read, thus crippling
creativity once more.
>From the backline.......
B : Jim O'Dea, "Cowboy" Neale, Don Scott (Jim O'Dea ???? remember John
Greening)
HB : Roger Merrett, Robbie McGhie, Kevin Sheedy
C : Robbie Muir, Greg Williams, David Rhys-Jones
HF : Robert Lamb, Dermott Brereton, Paul Hudson (We all know that forward
flankers are soft)
F : Neil Balme, Tony Lockett, John Cassin
R : Carl Ditterich, Ted Whitten, Leigh Matthews
Inter : John Burke, Phil Carmen, Todd Curley, Phil Matera (Just in case the
umps get out of hand)
I wait once more in anticipation.
Peter Treseder
Date: Fri, 10 May 2002 11:28:11 +1000
After carefully considering every team and possible match ups the only fight
I would wish to see would be that of the 3AW team versus the Tobin's
The possible match up's:
Rex v's Swan McKay (I think rex would welcome the chance to teach swan a
leason or too.)
Clinton v's Tim Lane (Don't we know clinton would be up for against his old
team and all)
Robert v's Dawyne Russell (Robert would of course provide the special
comments on his arse whipping of dwayne.)
The Ferret v's Drew Morphett (I could see Mark using the illegal use of a
bite or two. and scratching and of course hair pulling)
Buzzing around the outskirts would be bondie, just keeping us upto date with
the number hitout's kicks's etc.
By the way had to look up 3lo's web site to find out who actually does their
special comments etc. After looking at it, no wonder I'm an aw listener.
Paul Booth
Date: Fri, 10 May 2002 11:32:55 +1000
The team I would take to the Ramsgate or any place where there could be
trouble is as follows. This team has the "muscle" needed to win any battle,
have shown they don't care who the opposition is and can negotiate the best
conditions for their employment.
Backs - Painters, And, Dockers
Half Backs - John Halfpenny, Norm Gallagher, Bill Kelty
Coach - Bob Hawke
Best wishes
Matt Cronin
Date: Fri, 10 May 2002 02:06:32 +0000
Simon and Coodabeens How could you stoop to this level? While the wider community demands "role-modelesque" behaviour from our footy heros the Coodabeens are promoting hooliganism, rough-housing, and fist-a-cuffs amongst the artists of our great game. As a 'family oriented program" the Coodabeens should be more responsible and rather than promote seek to address the ugly violence that we continually see in today's post game functions. I suggest the following be promoted as a more up to date and acceptable behaviour at post game functions. ROUND 7 POST MATCH DEBATING TEAM The following personalities will appear local Boutique Garden Restaurant to hold an open debate on the outcomes of Round 7 Matches. Each team member will represent an individual. This Debate is approved and sponsored by the AFL, Victoria Police, Trades Hall and the Equal Opportunity Branch of the Federal Goverment. Personality Team Simon Madden Carlton and the Victorian Gov. Bobby Davis Geelong Cats -Sponsored by Prime Life Warrick Cappers Wife Sydney - Sponsored by Junior Footy Bruce Ruxton Collingwood - Victorians in Queensland Bob Hawk Footscray and the ALP Grame Samuals Essendon and Colonial Stadium Equity Fund Darren Crocker Kangaroos and AFL Players Assoc. Jose Curevo Adelaide - Dept of Immigration Naomi Robson Melbourne - Sponsored by C7 Stan Zamanick Richmond - Public Transport Users Joan Kirner Hawthorn - Sponsored by Cleo Mag Peter Ruhel Brisbane - Sponsored by AFR Note: Victor Pierce was due to apprear this week representing Port Adelaide and sponsored by the Dockworkers Union but he is unable to appear this week. A suitable replacement will be found. Doug Wale West Coast - WA Grape Growers Bruce Monteath Fremantle - Sponsored by Property Council Aust. Note; The Personality representing St Kilda will be unable to attend due to injury and poor form a suitable replacement under the age of 17 will be interchanged. Peter Daicos - Mediator Promote non-violence in footy after match functions please. Regards Bob the Yank
Date: Fri, 10 May 2002 12:35:38 +1000
Hi Simon BACKS: Jackie Chan (for Hawthorn supporters) Hannibal Lector (to eat them alive) Rocky Balboa ( a true left footer or southpaw ) Gee I wonder if I have been obscure enough this week to get read out ? cheers David Bean
Date: Fri, 10 May 2002 13:59:59 +1000
Heres a team that doesnt take a backwood step.
B. StevePrice, Alan Jones, Neil Mitchell
Regards Gary Clark
Date: Thu, 09 May 2002 21:12:45 -0700
For the return bout at the Ramsgate, look no further than a team made up of players from the 60's - early 80's VFA teams. The days of real suburban bloodbaths and warfare - look out Port Poeer, the real Port boys and their mates are coming to town.
B: Trevor Price Brian Buckley Bob Proffitt
H/B: Ivan Russell Mopsy Fraser (from a past era, but had to get a start in any team going to fight) Kevin Shinners
C: Paul Goss Norm Goss (Jnr) Kevin Goss
H/F: Paddy Flaherty (so the Borough boys have someone to belt after they dispose of the Power and the Crows) Fred Cook Gary Brice
F: Eddie Melai Bob Johnson (only so he could stage for frees in a pub brawl) Phil Cleary (see Paddy Flaherty)
R: Harold Martin Buster Harland Brian Teague
I/C: John Rojo Lyle Henricksen
To referee the fight .. the one and only Frankie Vergona
From John Hill (used to enter all Coodabeens Comps, and got a thank-you in one of your Annual books, but now living in the USA in Santa Barbara. However I can now pick you up on the internet. Haven't laughed so much in years when I listened to last weeks show, especially the account of the Ramsgate Brawl. Just had to put in an entry for old times sake)
Date: Fri, 10 May 2002 04:14:35 +0000
In what could be a regular televised event entitled "Blind-date at the
Ramsgate" my suggestion is 2 teams, the DBs (Dirty Bastards) vs the BDs
(Brown Dacks).
They would be selected at the commencement of the season and for 1 member of
each team who have had a previous 'encounter' to meet each week.
I imagine it going something like this:-
Mike Whitney would be the compere, standing out front of the Ramsgate with
Trevor Keogh...
The best part is if Trev or any of the other 21 BDs fail to enter the
cage/mudpit/jelly wrestling ring etcÖ.Mike would have to step inside to take
on the dare himself....Mal meet Mike, Robbie Muir u know Mike Whitney etc.
1.mal brown - trevor keogh
Cheers,
Date: Fri, 10 May 2002 15:43:21 +1000
Dear Simon and Coodabeens,
Date: Fri, 10 May 2002 16:08:30 +1000
To Salman Whelan from Faction 3366 - remember the fatwah
OUR TEAM FOR THE RETURN BOUT AT THE RAMSGATE :
B: Marcus Picken(WB) Jarrod Waite(Carl) Heath James(SW)
The team arrives at the Ramsgate only to find a bouncer standing next to a
sign that reads "Entry to the Hotel is forbidden to underage people unless
they are accompanied by a parent or guardian".
Our team is therefore refused entry. But Jason Cloke says I'll just go and
get my dad(David), as does Marcus Picken(Billy), Jarrod Waite(Vin), Steven
Greene(Russell), Campbell Brown(Mal),Ty Zantuck(Shane), Jordan
Barham(Ricky), Nick Raines(Geoff), Nick Davis(Craig), Rhyce Shaw(he gets
his dad-Ray and uncle Tony), Gary Ablett Jr(You know who), Joel
Reynolds(says he will get granddad).
>From Faction 3366
Date: Fri, 10 May 2002 14:25:05 +1000
Here's a couple of likely teams for you to consider ...
TEAM No. 1
TEAM No. 2
Andrew McDonald
Date: Sat, 11 May 2002 01:18:13 +1000
LLLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMMMBLE!!!
B: Dwayne Johnson (WWF), Firth McCallum (Geel), Brett Hart (WWF)
McCallum played a blinder against St Kilda in the 1899 round robin finals
competition, when the Saints were held to the league's lowest ever score of 0.1
(1). Nothing got past him despite the Geelong Advertiser noting that he got accidentally hit in the jaw and had several teeth loosened.
The addition of Johnson (aka "The Rock") and "The Hitman" Hart would allow
Dwayne Russell to wax lyrical about the other team's full forward being caught
between The Rock and a Hart place.
HB: Joe Byrne (Kelly Gang), Ned Kelly (Kelly Gang), Dan Kelly (Kelly Gang).
Strong country recruits who know how to handle themselves in a hotel fight,
even when hopelessly outnumbered.Not afraid to go down with guns blazing. Kelly
adds some steel to the team's goal-to-goal line.
C: Douglas Bader (WW2 flying ace), Greg Williams (Geel/Syd/Carl), Ted Whitfield
(SM)
Bader, a great wingman, gives the team an obvious height advantage. Didn't let
two foot, ankle, shin, knee and thigh reconstructions stop him from going after
the enemy.
Similarly, Williams was not afraid of going after anyone - umpires included - in a career that spanned 261 games, 12 guilty verdicts and a total of 34 weeks'
suspension.
Whitfield led by example in the '45 Blood Bath Grand Final, being reported for
among other things attempting to stike a goal umpire and deliberately kicking
the ball away when a mark was paid against him. Took the unusual step of
pulling his jumper over his head to try and avoid being booked. In all,
suspended 5 times for a total of 27 weeks.
HF: George Topping (Carl), Dermott Brereton (Haw/Syd/Coll), David Rhys Jones (S
Melb/Carl)
Three players unafraid of putting up big numbers when the going gets willing.
Topping's sole tribunal appearance earned him a 35-week holiday. Dermie has the
edge in weeks suspended (39) but Rhys was found guilty more times (11).
F: Jack Bacque (Melb/Carl), Norm Petersen (Cheers), Ian Botham (Eng)
Bacque knows how to lose, being suspended for an entire season following
Carlton's defeat in the 1910 Grand Final. Norm is a man of few words but
nothing gets between him and a beer. Botham is handy with a bat and fancies a
drink too. Could also be thrown onto the ball if necessary.
Foll: Ken Boyd (SM), Carl Ditterich (StK/Melb)
Boyd gets the nod over the likes of Arthur "Bull'' Coghlan because he ended his
60-game career in style - being found guilty for a seventh time and copping 12
weeks for hitting Big Nick under the eye at Princes Park in August 1961. There
was no need for this team to have a ruck-rover because of Ditterich's brilliant
all-round game: 285 games, 199 goals, 193cm, 90.5kg, 12 guilty verdicts, 30
weeks' suspension.
Rov: Alex Lang
Perhaps the most skilled player in the team (the Australasian named him as the
most outstanding player in the league in 1909), but gets in the team on
reputation alone. Guaranteed to strike fear into the hearts of opponents when
they learn his sole tribunal appearance resulted in a 99-week penalty.Would be
prepared to play poorly if the money was right.
Inter: Fred Rutley (NM), Bill Burns (Geel/Rich), Tommy Downs (Carl), Mark
McVeigh (Ess)
Rutley, Burns and Downs were given 89, 60 and 46 weeks respectively for kicking
opponents. McVeigh earned his late inclusion in the team for displaying a
willingness not to play favourites with ANYONE.
Coach: Sun Tzu
Philosophy: "To be near the goal while the enemy is still far from it, to wait
at ease while the enemy is toiling and struggling, to be well-fed while the
enemy is famished - this is the art of husbanding one's strength."
Think about that ...
Cam Ward
From: Johnson
No followers or reserves are required. Only one other person required to complete the party, ensuring security for all.
Big Carl Ditterich.
Go Mazenod!
From: Greg & Sue Hoysted
Don't make excuses Simon. Your efforts to placate the irate entrants
who weren't read out last week by quoting statistics on the number of
entries and complementing us on our overall high standards is a joke.
Since when did you care about high standards? Live up to your
reputation. Castigate us on our lack of imagination if you like but
don't try to mollify us. We don't believe you anyway!
A side of people who you'd want on your side.
From: Chris Watts
The Mikado (A genius) Kevin Sheedy Leigh Matthews
Nanki Poo (loves Yum Yum) Wayne Jackson John Newman
Ko-Ko (Lord High Executioner) Andrew Dimitriou Cameron Schwab
Pooh-Bah (Lord High Everything else) Eddie McGuire James Packer
Pish-Tush (A noble Lord) Ian Collins Ron Barassi
Yum Yum (Loves Nanki Poo) Caroline Wilson }
Pitti Sing (Yum Yum's sister) Elaine Canty }Christi Malthouse
Beep Po (Another sister) Katrina Pressley }
Katisha (He knows the part) Tony Leonard Jason Dunstall
(Selected on the basis of performance AND COOLIES
at players review nite: Height, bulk and tribunal (Brownlow
appearances help): Medallists and aspirants):
BRISBANE C Keating M Voss
CARLTON G Manton L Whitnall
COLLINGWOOD S Cummings N Buckley
ESSENDON D Fletcher J Hird
FREMANTLE T Simmonds M Pavlich
GEELONG D Milburn G Ablett
HAWTHORN S Rehn S Crawford
NORTH MELB.* M Burton G Archer
MELBOURNE A Nicholson S Woewodin
PORT ADELAIDE M Primus G Wanganeen
RICHMOND W Campbell B Ottens
ST KILDA P Everett R Harvey
SYDNEY B Hall P Kelly
WEST COAST G Jakovich B Cousins
FOOTSCRAY* C Grant** A Liberatore
*nb see traditional valuesv
** walk up start if J Newman plays Nanki Poo
Rehearsals at the Ramsgate / Savoy commencing September 29th.
All cast members to bring along some alternative lyrics for the Little
List. S Whelan to direct this. Themes could include catering at major
venues and facilities.
From: Cheryl Harvey
From: greg moss
Now where do I pick up my prize?
Ahh those were the days, now all we have are Sydney seconds and a proper lot of
little ball-biters they are eh?
From: paul prole
From: MSTA8
Michael Stagg
From: stuart mcarthur
Amber Kelly Candy
Jo ChrissyX Jennifer
Candy Sarah Candee
Melanie Candii KylieXXX
Terri Amber4U Candy
Rucks:
Josie Madison Amber
interchange:
Shelley Cindy Kandi
From: Adrian Jackson
Ian Collins (Carlton)
Wes Lofts (Carlton)
Bob Chitty (Carlton)
Jack Edwards (North Melbourne)
Ted Jarrard (North Melbourne)
Pat Kelly (North Melbourne)
David Rhys-Jones (Sydney, Carlton)
Robbie Muir (St Kilda)
Buster Harland (Port Melbourne)
Des Tuddenham (Collingwood, Essendon)
Ted Whitten (Footscray)
Stewart Gull (South Melbourne)
Roger Merrett (Essendon, Brisbane)
Frosty Miller (Dandenong)
Jimmy Krakouer (North Melbourne, St Kilda)
Carl Ditterich (St Kilda, Melbourne)
Leigh Matthews (Hawthorn)
Dale Weightman (Richmond)
David Carradine (Kwai-Chang Cain)
Sylvester Stallone (Rocky)
Robert De Niro (Jake La Motta)
Sarah Michelle Gellar (Buffy)
(Not The Bloke From Middle Park Who's
Always Writing
Letters To The Editor)
From: Cheryl Critchley
Cheryl Critchley.
From: David McNiece
From: "Smooker, Glenn"
FB: Smasher O'Brien Thick-set south-paw with no teeth, no neck and
no commonsense. Occupation: Wharf Worker
BP: Knuckles O'Dea Stout and rotund no nonsense tagger with no
teeth, no neck and no commonsense. Occupation: Wharf Worker
CHB: Scragger McNeish Smashed nose and broken nuckled defender
with no teeth, no neck and no commonsense. Occupation: Wharf
Worker
HB: Psycho O'Dwyer Sharpest elbows in the business with no teeth,
no neck and no commonsense. Occupation: Wharf Worker
C: Brother McTavish Team leader and motivator with no teeth,
no neck and too much commonsense Occupation: Union
Delegate
W: Nutsy O'Donohue More courage than a 70's bottleshop. Has no
teeth, no neck and no commonsense Occupation: Wharf Worker
CHF: Chopper McMahon Makes presence felt and team mates walk taller
when he is around. Has no teeth, no neck and no commonsense.
Occupation: Wharf Worker
HF: Cruncher McEwan Silky smooth ball player with no teeth, no neck
and no commonsense Occupation: Wharf Worker
FF: Scarface O'Toole Great kicker of the ball with no teeth,
no neck and no commonsense Occupation: Wharf Worker
FP: Cement Head McFlynn In and under type with no teeth, no neck
and no commonsense Occupation: Wharf Worker
R/Rover: Thrasher McInerney Usually assigned the opponents best.
Has no teeth, no neck and no commonsense Occupation: Wharf Worker
Rover: Digger O'Flannigan Nippy type always around the
heels of the pack. Has no teeth, no neck and no commonsense
Occupation: Wharf Worker
FB: Rudi Schnell Tall, blonde, blue-eyed, athletic and
statuesque defender. Occupation: Night Club Security
Officer
BP: Boris Franzberg Tall, blonde, blue-eyed, athletic and statuesque
defender. Occupation: Night Club Security Officer
CHB: Fritz Vorgts Tall, blonde, blue-eyed, athletic and
statuesque defender. Occupation: Night Club Security
Officer
HB: Berti Tysonberger Tall, blonde, blue-eyed, athletic and
statuesque defender. Occupation: Night Club Security
Office
C: Boris Rechter Tall, blonde, blue-eyed, athletic and
statuesque midfielder. Occupation: Night Club Security Officer
W: Wolfgang Beckenbauer Tall, blonde, blue-eyed, athletic and
statuesque midfielder. Occupation: Night Club Security Officer
CHF: Boris BeckenschleitzerTall, blonde, blue-eyed, athletic and
statuesque forward. Occupation: Night Club Security
Officer
HF: Berti Hammenberger Tall, blonde, blue-eyed, athletic and
statuesque forward. Occupation: Night Club Security
Officer
FF: Franz Fritzensteiner Tall, blonde, blue-eyed, athletic and
statuesque forward. Occupation: Night Club Security
Officer
FP: Hans Schneidenberger Tall, blonde, blue-eyed, athletic and
statuesque forward. Occupation: Night Club Security
Officer
R/Rover: Boris Tysensdorf Tall, blonde, blue-eyed, athletic and
statuesque ruck rover. Occupation: Night Club Security Officer
Rover: Tyson Schneidenbauer Small, blonde, blue-eyed, athletic and
statuesque rover. Occupation: Night Club Security
Officer
glenn.smooker@fostersgroup.com
From: Kevin McAloon
From: Paul Martin
From: Darren_Wharton@tac.vic.gov.au
From: Phillip Morris
Robin West (Oakleigh)
Harold Martin (Preston)
Coodabeens very own Phil Cleary (Coburg)
Wes Hilliard (Oakiegh)
Butch Litchfield (Sunshine) (for Tony)
Lou Pepe (Prahan)
Sninners (Dandenong)
Phillip Morris
From: Fry Michael
* The Umpire vs John Bourke (Collingwood 2's player at lakeside oval
circa 70's);
and
* Umpire Carbury vs Phil Carmen (Moorabbin circa 70's)
* Terry Wheeler vs Peter Filandia
* The Melbourne Full-Forward Line (you guessed it circa 70's) of Brent
Tiger Crosswell, Mark Jacko Jackson and Peter Crackers Keenan vs any same
Full-Back line in the history of the VFL/AFL
From: David Mcniece
RON ANDREWS ESS
TREVOR PRICE COBURG
TED WHITTEN SNR FOOTSCRAY
GARY MCINTOSH NORWOOD
JIMMY BUCKLEY CARLTON
DARREN MILLANE C'WOOD
ROGER MERRETT ESS/BRIS
DERMOTT BRERETON HAWTHORN
RICKY MCLEAN CARL/RICH
JACK MIHOCEK ESSENDON
MARK RICCIUTTO ADELAIDE
JAMES KRAKOUER NORTH MELB.
SID ANDERSON
BOB PROFFITT
STEPHEN ALLENDER
GARY BRICE
TONY HAENEN
GRAEME "BUSTER" HARLAND
FRED COOK
NORM BROWN
KEVIN GOSS
PAULY GOSS
SHANE DOYLE
From: Tim Goddard
From: Adam Ellerton
HB: Doull Fletcher Harmes
C: Jarman Harvey Burke
HF : Hird Carey Ablett
F: Winmar Dunstall Allison
Foll: Salmon West Bradley
Inter : Kernahan Sheldon Hunter Johnson
From: Jeff Salton
From: Mccaffco
H.B.BILL DUCKWORTH ROBBY MUIR RON ANDREWS
CBILLY BARROTT REECE JONESv.c.DANIEL SOUTHERN
H. F.PHIL CARMEN DOC WHEELDON ROB MUIRcapt
F.F CRACKERS KEENAN PLUGGER LOCKETT NORMY GOSS
RCARL DITTERICH (resplendent with white bandito)
BIG BOB JOHNSON
RUSSELL CROW
R.R ROBBY MUIR
R.LIBBA LIBRATORE
INTERCHANGE DERMOTT BRERETON
BOBBY MAGEE
COACH MAL BROWN
CLUB VET DOUG DOGLOVER BOOTH
From: Fiona & Brett Turner
Brett Turner
From: D Long
From: Travis Bull
Oliver Michael Jullian
Cheryl Matt
Travis Greg Joe
Michael Sue Peter
Mike Bob the Luke
Tim Peter Glen from
The
From: Darren Brookes
From: john sutton
BACKS: S. CAREY. built just right for shirtfronting in carparks R. ANDREWS with
licence to patrol the back line the 50 metre arc is marked like police tape and
forwards
don't go inside 50 but enter the scene of the crime. W. DUCKWORTH fists of
steel.
so tough his neighbourhood bank was held up with a chewed off shotgun.
HALF BACKS:K.ROBERTS often got into it before the opening bounce I.SHELTON
listen to the 1965 GF commentary Tony Charlton mentions how Shelton goes in
vigouroulsy while his off sider notes "That was a forearm Tony and it was a beauty!" D.
WALLIS tough as a bag of nails with a head to match.
CENTRE:M. NEAGLE after Sidey cleaned him up he vowed he would look after his
mates even if that meant getting his revenge in first. N. FIELDS a pretty boy
who liked
the sly backhander to poncey wing men and a clip behind the ear (from behind)
on ruck
rovers who blocked his run before being chased into Ron Andrews country. Would
be
just the bloke to give a finishing fist then duck back between cars. I. MARSH a
clean
player but as tough as they come. Was reported once when he courageoulsy stood
under a high ball and got belted. At the tribunal the video was shown and the
tribunal
appologised to him saying his opponent should have been reported. You could not
hurt
him with a hammer in each hand.
HF: M.HARVEY once threatened to punch the Fish if he missed another goal.
R.MERRETT the not so secret hit man D. TUDDENHAM broke his hand on Mark
McClure's boney
bonce. cast iron general
FORWARDS: P.KEENAN stubborn ruckman prepared to take on Don Scott, could take
on all of Adelaide
T.DANIHER 12 weeks for punching must have been good at it. strong on the lead
stronger on the left hook. P.FILANDIA very hungry for the ball
RUCKS: D.MCKENZIE rugged old fashioned knuckle merchant P.CARMAN he'll head
butt
umpires, bar room brawls no problem R.GREENWOOD robust judo expert once threw a
Footscray
bloke the length of the goal square.
19th/20th J.CASSIN J.MIHOCEK a fine pair of intractable shock troopers dressed
in traditional
dressing gowns like boxers.
COACH SHEEDS of course, anything to promote the game
BACKS:WANGANEEN was good as a bomber but now he just irritates complain to the
ump
about this @#* kapow WEIDEMAN nowhere near as tough as he looked but sure
looked like he
had been slapped around a bit as a kid, must be expecting another whack
STOTT_DESPOJA
needs a clip around the ear to keep her honest
HB:NOTSO SMART a head made for biffing STUART WIGNEY Vic reject for a good
reason. looked like he graduated from the school of one hard knock HOOKESY
trying to
tell us how to play cricket, cop this, another broken jaw.
C: ANDO wanted him to get a whack even when he was in the red and black K.SPORN
should stick to netball like his sister R.SPORN Kieran's sister,just to give
the croweaters
some chance
HF: RICK DAVIES we all knew he could not play, probably could not fight
either.
BARRIE ROBRAN Mohammed never came to the mountain but the mountain is coming
to you, biff DON DUNSTAN wore Capper's shorts in Parliament, deserves a knuckle
sandwich. smack! squirrel grip, smack!@#*
F:JARMAN (either). Two for the price of one, bring em on MODRA just too good
looking, right cross#$%@
KERNAHAN deserves a slap for spoiling Teddy's day a few times
RUCKS: KG CUNNINGHAM the only thing to shut him up would be a gob full of
knuckles M.BLIGHT torps won't help you in the carpark pal McGUINNESS might as
well dot his eyes also cheeky little sprat THUMP
INT: any number of little fast blokes with weird names like Liptak, Grockle,
Burgoyne, Plectrum,Stenglein,Johncock,
Vardy,Pinhead,
COACH KNUCKLES KERLEY it would be funny watching him trying to get any sort of
fight out of this gutless lot
The Croweaters might try the flood, the super flood, interchange, central
corridor domination whatever. My boys would stick to traditional values and
play in their set positions and just rub the knuckle over anything in their
reach in the maul in the mall.
From: "Treseder, Peter"
From: Paul booth
From: Matt Cronin
Centres - Craig Johnston, Greg Combet, Doug Cameron (Hopefully the ACTU
influence might stop the left and right wing from negating each other)
Half Forwards - Lou Di Gregorio, Dean Mighell, Paul Mullet
Forwards - Jenny George, Irene Bolger, Michele O'Neil
On-Ballers - Martin Kingham, Greg Sword, Bill Shorten
From: Bob Crain
From: David
Here is my team to take on whoever at the Ramsgate. I think I have covered all conditions and situations
HALF BACKS: James Bond (to shake them and not stir them) William Wallace (to never take their freedom) James T Kirk (Captain)
CENTRES: Helen of Troy (for Tony and his Trojan horse) Darth Vader (so the force can be with them) Joan of Arc (for the feminine touch)
HALF FORWARDS: Dirty Harry (to make all their days) John Rambo ( need some military experience) Indiana Jones ( to whip them into shape )
FORWARDS: Nurse Ratchett (to make sure they take their medicine) Freddie Krueger ( to slice right through them all) Norman Bates (to make everyone feel at home)
RUCKS/ROVERS: The Terminator (cause he will be back) Rooster Cogburn (True Grit with The Duke) Buffy the Vampire Slayer (just cause)
INTERCHANGE: The Shark in Jaws The Alien in Alien King Kong Godzilla
COACH: Harry Potter (to weave his magic)
From: Clarke Gary
HB. McCleods Daughters
C. Electra Manikaris, Mary Kostakidis, Indira Naidoo
HF. Sabrina, Buffy, Xena
F. Kumars at No. 42
R. Vinnie Jones, Don Beech, Taggart
From: John and Sandy Hill
From: Rob A
"So Trevor how are you feeling?"
Trev chatting to Mike, "Good Mike, looking forward to it".. but thinking to
himself...." How bad could this dare be? Drink a yard glass, 5 or 6 tequila
shooters, clean the urinals with a toothbrush...
Meanwhile, much to Trev's soon to be realised terror, inside the Ramsgate is
Malcolm "The Undertaker" Brown, in an Iron Cage...and so on.
And the other attraction is that it gives the members of the BDs a chance
for revenge after all these years.
So anyway my teams: DBs mentioned first
2.Mark Jackson-Ronnie Andrews
3.magro - jezza
4.colin robertson - tim watson
5.sheeds - walls
6.terry daniher - gavin brown
7.robert muir - dennis collins
8.carl ditterich - too numerous? (4 Esplanade hotel bouncers for this
challenge)
9.greg williams - david rhys-jones
10.helen demetenko - wayne johnston
11.cam clayton - dipper
12.neil balme - southby
13.dermie - k walsh (or the entire Eseendon FC huddle)
14.plugger - caven
15.Dyer - Louey
16.phil carman - boundary umpire stewart(?) carberry
17.matthews - nev bruns
18.capper - local brissie goal umpire
19.gary wilson - jimmy jess
20.Jezza - Jerker Jenkins
21.Rex - drivetime host 3aw (whatsisname?)
22.wayne carey - anthony stevens/glenn archer tag team (Wayne waiting inside
the ring with a pair of lacy g-strings in his teeth...OUCH!!!)
Rob.A
From: Matt Laing
Unfortunately I am writing to you in times of unfortunate cicumstances. This week the Yarra Valley Old Boys dropped me from their senior side and I am forced to kick the dew off and even worse, will be forced to miss hearing the competition this week. However there is always a positive to be drawn from a negative. Despite the strong entries continuing on from the Yarra Boys this year I won't have to ask myself again why Simon overlooked me and the other Yarra Old Boys again. Not one mention this year, despite our excellent first up showing at Bells Brewery last year. How ironic that The Yarra Old Boys trained at the Aquatic Centre this week and all finished up at Bells Brewery for a bite and a beer. It looks like the only time we might get the chance to be there this year.
For what it's worth send out David Granger,a.k.a. Grave Danger down to the Ramsgate I'm sure he could sort them all out.
(and the Yarra Valley chairman of Selectors could be his warm up punching bag)
Matty Laing (shattered) Yarra Valley Old Boys
From: paul russo
HB: Steven Greene(Haw) Campbell Brown(Haw) Ty Zantuck(Rich)
C: Jordan Barham(Port) Nick Raines(Bris) Steven Doyle(SW)
HF: Nick Davis(Coll) Kane Cornes(Port) Luke Ablett(Sw)
F : Rhyce Shaw(Coll) Gary Ablett Jr(Geel) David Bourke(Kang)
Ruck: Jason Cloke(Coll) Ruck-rover: Chad Davis(St.K)
Rover: Andrew Krackoer(Rich) Interchange: Joel Reynolds(Ess)
From: Ross Morton
FULL BACKS: Attila the Hun Vlad the Impaler
Jack the Ripper
HALF BACKS: Genghis Khan Ivan the Terrible
Captain Teach (aka Blackbeard the Pirate)
CENTRES: Athos Porthos
Aramis
HALF FORWARDS: D'Artagnon Alexander the Great Josef
Stalin
FULL FORWARDS: Chief Sitting Bull Hulk Hogan
Caligula
FOLLOWERS: Little John Robin Hood
Che Guevara
INTERCHANGE: David Rhys-Jones Robert Muir
Carl Ditterich Robert McGhie
COACH: Julius Caeser
FULL BACKS: Frederick Bell VC John Bisdee VC
Leslie Maygar VC
HALF BACKS: Maurice Buckley VC Walter Brown VC
Joergen Jensen VC
CENTRES: John Dwyer VC Albert Jacka
Thomas Axford VC
HALF FORWARDS: William Ruthven VC Frank McNamara VC Martin
O'Meara VC
FULL FORWARDS: Thomas Derrick VC Edward Kenna VC Hughie
Edwards VC
FOLLOWERS: Leslie Starcevich VC William Newton VC
John Edmonson VC
INTERCHANGE: Arthur Sullivan VC Peter Badcoe VC
Keith Payne VC Ray Simpson VC
COACH: Sir John Monash
From: Cam Ward