The Coodabeen Champions Competition
Round Sixteen:
Pick a player from each club to appear in a cameo role in the TV you think most appropriate.
From: J Wallace
Jamie Wallace
From: karl and jodie hendy
Dear Simon
Adelaide and Port Adelaide The players in the brawl Good guys,bad guys
Brisbane Lions Jason Akermanis Media watch
CarltonCraig BradleySurvivor
Carlton The teamHuey's Cooking Adventures
B/c they'll get the wooden spoon
Carlton The teamThe Powerball draw
B/c it is boring to watch and just
so hard to win.
CollingwoodNathan Buckley First Blood
Essendon James HirdThe man in the Iron mask
Fremantle Trent Croad The Price is Right
Geelong Gary Ablett Jnr Jesus Christ Superstar
HawthornNathan Thompson Flying High
Kangaroos Wayne CareyMen behaving badly
Kangaroos The team Family and Friends (that is all
that is going to their games at
Manuka Oval)
Melbourne David ShwartzKath and Kim (a great show that
isn't on anymore)
RichmondMatthew Richardson The Vita Brits ad ("kick it to me,
kick it to me")
St Kilda The team All saintsv
St Kilda Grant ThomasJust shoot me!
Sydney Tony Lockett Reality bites
West CoastGlen Jakovich Home and Away (it has been
going for ages and still looks
like getting another season)
Western BulldogsNathan BrownThe Osbournes (bad language
and rude gestures are
acceptable in that family)
Regards
Karl and Jodie Hendy
From: Justin Hanrahan
Adelaide - Andrew McLeod - A football match broadcast live on free to airagainst Port Adelaide (or any, non-Collingwood team)
Justin Hanrahan
From: Cheryl Harvey
Dear Simon,
Just a couple of ones that seem obvious to me!
WCE: Lynch aka 'the big unit' in THE INCREDIBLE HULK
Collingwood: Eddie & Nathan in THE ADVENTURES OF LOIS & CLARK
(you choose who is who?)
Kangaroos: Glen Archer (as guest star) in SEX IN THE CITY
Richmond: Matthew Richardson in LOST IN SPACE
(to all Tiger fans, a true space cadet!)
Carlton: Brendon Fevola in FREDDY KRUGER'S NIGHTMARES
(after Lance who's next?)
Adelaide &
Port Power: The entire teams in CHEERS (they all have previous experience in a bar room setting!)
Bulldogs: Tony Liberatore in LAND OF THE GIANTS
(would not need the special effects!)
Essendon: Gary Moorcroft in THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY
(a dead ringer for a Danny stand in)
St. Kilda: Steven Milne in LEAVE IT TO BEAVER
(always in the right place)
Sydney: Bustling Barry Hall in SMACKDOWN
Brisbane: Jason Akermanis in BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
(just too easy!!!)
Melbourne: David Schwarze in LAUGH IN
(already a winner with a pie routine!)
Cheryl Harvey
From: Paul booth
Dear Simon,
Adelaide - Riccuito - Blue Heeler's - Would like to see him taking care of the local's in the pub's car park
Brisbane - D. White - Room for improvement - we all know darrell has boundless potential just need someone qualified to give it a bit of a touch up.
Carlton - Bradley - Survivor - He just wont leave.
Collingwood-Buckley-Who wants to ba a millionaire- just another way to beat the salary cap.
Essendon- Hird- Magic's Greatest Secrets- Hird is the masked magician
Fremantle - Pavlich - hot property - let the bidding begin
Geelong- T. McGrath -Stinger's - plays the part of a murdered sports star, but this isnt the first time he has appeared as this on t.v
Hawthorn - Crawford - temptation island - appears as a guest single.
Kangaroos - Spider Burton- Totally wild -demonstrating the many talents of the spider to all the young kiddie's
Melbourne -Schwarz-Buffy the vampire slayer-wouldnt we just love to see schwarter hip and shouldering some blood riddled vampire.
Port -J.Carr - Getaway- he hears these words every week from what ever poor star player he has started to harrass
Richmond -Richardson-weakest link- matthew plays the scape goat for the group being told goodbye first and danny is replacing cornelia
St Kilda -N.Riewoldt -young lions -appears just to see what it feels like to be a young lion and to get used to the tag.
Sydney -B.Hall -The Bill- appears as a soccer hooligan the bill just cant quite capture.
Western Bullie's -T.Libretore -Pizza - plays a very aggressive and surrly(But easily confused) pizza delivery boy.
west Coast - team effort -afl 9 -it would be a rarity to see these guys on any show in the eastern states let alone during an actual game.
Cheers,
Paul Booth
From: Paul Martin
Welcome back Simon,
As we are strolling down a made for Television path this week,please consider this a virtual visual e-mail and If read out,give itthetwang of a Hollywoodgossip / Entertainment show host, it undoubtedly deserves.
This week onEccentric Thespians,
v
We go out to the Fort Courage studios on Royal Paradeand speak with producer John "Chief Smoking Boar" Elliotand askwhether this years low ratings have affected the morale of the cast and crew on the set of F-Troop.
Former Weakest Link directorDamian Drum warnsthat a re run of last years Power without Glory would not be good for the industry.
We discussa possible merger of the strugglingBulldog and Triple A studios with the making of Kangaroo Palace.
An exclusive with the industries most sort after man, formerly known asNumber 18, about his last role in TheDismissal and hisexpectations with Seachange.
Then confrontactorsNathan "Dura lex, sed lex (the law is hard, but it is law)" Buckleyand Cameron "noli me tangere (do not touch me)" Lingabout their controversial roles inI, Claudius.
But coming up next, I'll chat live with Clive Waterhouse about those surfing scenes in Gidget, did he actually surf that wave or was it just clever computerised imagery?
We'll find out after the break, you're watching ET and I'm Paul Martin.
From: Arthur Pashos
Geelong
TV Show...Star Wars
Player..Garry Ablett...in episode 14 (which coincides with his greatest tally of goals) he is referred to as 'Ownlee-One-Ablett', who single handedly destroys the Dark Side.(that being the Ayres reign at Geelong.
Adelaide
TV Show...Getaway
Person...Gary Ayres..this is what ALL Geelong supporters were screaming as he boards the last Ansett flight bound for Adelaide.
v
Collingwood
TV Show...Dateline
Player...Mark Richardson...he has a starring role simply because his arse (career) has been on the line at Collingwood for over 100 games.
v
Brisbane
TV Show...Mastermind
Player...Jason Akermanis..hired NOT to compare or invited as a contestant but merely as the bloke who switches on the light which focusses on the contestant.
Fremantle
TV Show...The Magic Boomerang
Player..Matthew Pavlich..The scene opens with Matthew hurtling his magic boomerang, which results in those in close proximity to 'freeze'...Matthew then goes around trying on team jumpers in order to see which jumper best suits.
Hawthorn
TV Show...Hi-5
Player...Shane Crawford..about his intellectual & show biz capabilities.
Carlton
TV Show...The Young & the Restless.
Players...Any of those brash young drunks who continually get caught drinking, fighting, assaulting or causing any disturbance.
St.Kilda
TV Show...Home Shopping
Coach...Grant Thomas...his delivery would be ideal for those who are awake at that time.
Essendon
TV Show..Bananas In Pyjamas.
Player..Steven Allessio...he would be well suited as the third banana, afterall, he moves about as quick!!!
Richmond
TV Show...My Favouirte Martian
Player...Matthew Richardson...playing the lead role of Uncle Martin, Richo, uses his power to disappear, which would be an inviting concept for him at the moment.
North Melbourne
TV SHow..The Osbournes
Player...'Spider' Burton..could play the role of the straight, frustrated, non smoking, non drinking, non involvement in any drugs, decent, church attending neighbour to the Osbourne's. Based on the 70's sitcom...'Love Thy Neighbour'
West Coast Eagles
TV Show...Happy Days
Player...Peter Matera's character is based on the Fonz, where he relives the glorious (happy) days when the Eagles were a force & won flags to his band of teammates who will never share that experience.
Port Adelaide
TV Show..Lost in Space
Coach...Mark Williams..takes on the role of Doc. Zachary Smith, the grumpy & obnoxious one...particulary when they were in the shit.
Sydney
TV Show...E Street
Player...Tony Lockett...takes on the guest appearance as a former great on a former number one program...now on at 4:00 AM.
Footscray
TV Show
Person...David Smorgon who has taken over from John Michael 'Hollywood' Houson. David ships all possible investors for the club to the island, where Miser Meanie (Wayne Jackson) continually ceases any ambition or production Smorgon can muster.
Melbourne
TV Show...Out Back with Troy Dan
Coach...Neil Daniher...Neil travels with Troy to the outback where they share bush experiences, swap yarns, perform that 'Troy dance', partake in a bit of roo or pig shootin', all in absolute good ol' Aussie humour & elocution.
Umpires...
TV Show...F-Troop
Any umpire could play the role of Vanderbelt superbly!!!!!!
Arthur Pashos
From: stuart mcarthur
Dear Simon,
As you grow older and more mature, you get less sarcastic and more philosophical. But until then......
GILLIGAN'S ISLAND
Episode: Professor discovers telephone cable...
The Professor (Danny Frawley) discovers a telephone cable in the sand. He severs it so AT&T will send repairmen to the island.
The skipper (Matty Richardson) is on watch for the repair boat, but decides to go fishing and hands the job over to trusty Gilligan (David Rodan).
Rodan nods off at the exact moment the repair boat arrives.
Richo returns, sees the fixed cable, and starts whacking Rodan over the head with his hat.
MONTY PYTHON
Richmond midfielders form a chorus on stage dressed in duffel coats and beanies.
Matty Richardson walks on, stage front.
They start singing (to I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK)
All:
We're at Tigerland and we're okay
We play the game in a passionate way
Matty:
I take big marks
I kick some goals
They reckon I'm a star
One day I'll play in a premiership
Just like my dear papa
All:
He spits the dummy
He duffs set shots
He gives his teammates hell
One day he'll play in a premiership
for Coburg - VFL
MONDAY FOXTEL AUSKICK ROUNDUP
I reckon Tony would be perfect as that talking football
BEWITCHED
Disillusioned client (played by Richmond fan)
"That's it! I'm leaving!"
Darren (Clinton Casey)
"Sam, we'll lose the account! What'll we do?"
Samantha (played by Danny Frawley)
"Ummm...I know! It's all MY fault!"
Client
"Okay I'll stay"
(The horror the horror)
Stuart McArthur
PS: Not that this will help my chances or anything but I'm writing from a cafe in the Tribeca precinct, just under the Brooklyn Bridge.
(gee it's eerie without those towers)
PPS: Jeff - don't you reckon Benny Gale's absence has been overlooked in explaining the Tiges demise? He was the only leader we had.
That and the fact we've just come off a tough year.
cheers - Stuart McArthur
From: Colin Johnstone
My cameo role is for Adelaide's nude nut Nigel Smart to appear in Ch.9's new
series Smallville.
Great Show Boys!!
Colin Johnstone
(Bayswater)
From: danny blay
Adelaide
Mark Ricciuto
The Bill
The Crow Captain makes a guest appearance as a common barroom thug, which may contribute to concerns about type casting. Watch for a sublime performance when Roo pleads with PC Reg Hollis, "But he started it!"
Brisbane
Jason Akermanis
The Simpsons
The wacky northerner finds himself in a shootout with Homer, trying to outdo each other by allowing bizarre remarks to bypass their brains.
Carlton
Matthew Lappin
Keno
Carltons Invisible Man presents a program that lasts for as long each week as his own performances on the field.
Collingwood
Scott Burns
Rolf Harris Animal Hospital
Scotty finds himself at the wrong end of the vets scalpel after being mistaken for a stray mongrel. Written, produced, directed and starring Eddie McGuire. Strong Language.
Essendon
Kevin Sheedy
James Hird
The Kumars at Number 42
M*A*S*H*
The old bloke insists that he always knows better, and nobody around him has the courage to disagree. Look for Sheeds famous line, "I have a humorous anecdote."
Hawkeye is concerned for Jimmy, who, after recently suffering horrific injuries on the front line, is eager to get back to his platoon. This is the famous episode when Hawkeye exclaims, "Listen, kid, the name of this unit is what happened to your face!" Hot Lips Heffernan finds herself in a compromising position with Geelongs Ronnie Frank Burns, while Major Henry Sheedy goes off the rails. Again.
Fremantle
Matthew Pavlich
The Fresh Prince of Bel Air
The youngster is convinced he is in demand from all quarters, but is he just delusional?
Geelong
Ben Graham
A Touch of Frost
Fans continue to give the Cat Captain the cold shoulder.
Hawthorn
Shane Crawford
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Crawf continues to prove that looks are more important than performance, especially when surrounded by losers.
Kangaroos
Glenn Archer
Kelly Stevens, Wayne Carey, Ricky Nixon and Glenn Archer
Wayne Carey
Friends for Dinner
Hens, Ducks, Chickens and Swine (SBS)
Chicago Hope
A BBQ at the home of a player turns horribly wrong. Some nudity.
A strange bunch gets themselves into a serious mess, to the delight of audiences (and media) far and wide. Adult themes.
A struggling American football team becomes interested in a disgraced star from Down Under.
Melbourne
David Schwarz
Victor Paul Home Shopping
With all the extra time on his hands, The Ox continues to flitter away his cash, while insisting that another quaddy is just around the corner.
Port Adelaide
Chad Cornes
Kath & Kim
Cornes, the younger, continues to make audiences cringe due to his outer-suburban behaviour, while Daddy isnt happy. "Look at moi, Chad, look at moi!"
Richmond
Matthew Richardson
Royce Vardy
Just Shoot Me!
Judge Judy/Men Behaving Badly/ Totally Wild Weekend
Matty can only think of one response to the thought of having to play another game with the losers around him and wants out.
The bad boy of Tigerland stars in this triple header that was made for him.
St Kilda
The Entire List
60 Minutes
The time dedicated to competitive footy.
Sydney
Rodney Eade
The Trap Door
Rocket finds himself in perilous situation. Did he jump, or was he pushed?
West Coast
Phillip Matera
The Osbournes
It seems every fan claims to have been there when Ozzy Matera bit the head off a bird. They all hate him, yet, strangely, they can't look away...
Western Bulldogs
Tony Liberatore
Queer as Folk
In their professional lives, some people do the strangest things. Some violence.
danny blay
Matthew Laing
Hi coodabeens, (been a while, sorry, that's my fault) (partially)
This weeek's viewing highlights
Weeknights at 5, join Mark Bickley, new host of Bick's Catchphrase.
Sunday night Movie Ground Hog Day, starring Matthew Richardson.
Special guest Adam Simpson joins his long lost cousins Bart and Lisa on The Simpsons.
Luke Darcy stars as the enemy in an all new JAG.
At 6:30am join in with Gavin Wanganeen for another episode of Yoga TV.
Nathan Buckley makes an appearance on Judge Judy and takes the law into his own hands and expects to get off.
Peter Everitt is the guest host of Who wants to be a Bogan?
Dean rioli makes a guest appearance on The Fat.
The Secret Life of Us Footballing Types includes many players (all not to secretlyhaving a crack at Claudia Karvan).
Welcome Back Libba. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.
From the ED Sullivan Theatre in New York it's The Late Show with David Sierakowski.
Nathan Brown appears as Browny the Pizza Boy on a new range of Pizza Hut commercials.
Tony Modra makes a comeback in "What's Cooking?" in which he replies, 'I don't give a stuff until I've finished my surf and I'm feeling hungry'
Matty Laing
Date: Tue, 16 Jul 2002 15:44:42 +1000
1.Port Warren Tredrae Rick Jason Combat
From:
shag@alphalink.com.au
Dear Simon,
Poetic license is the phrase that comes to mind with this entry...
Team / Player / TV show / Why?
1. Adelaide / Nigel Smart / '"Celebrity" Who Dares Wins' / (With guest host Matty Scarlet filling in for Mike Whitney) - as an encore to Nigel's previous stunts, (refer 'walking over hot coals' incident), see Nigel walk through a wall of fire wearing nothong but a pair of flannel pyjamas, see him shave his head with a chainsaw...etc.
2. Brisbane / Aker / 'Bledisloe Cup Coverage' / after his "rugby" comments, Aker will, no doubt, be in the side for the 2nd leg
3. Carlton / Whole Team / 'Room for Improvement' / see Stephen Kernahan is invited by the Carlton Board to "do a makeover" of John Elliott's place, which includes the installation of locks that ensure Elliott cannot escape once he returns.
4. Collingwood / N. Buckley, C. Tarrant, N. Davis, & S. Rocca / 'Who wants to be a millionairre" / hosted by Eddie Maguire, this version of the show includes a million-dollar questions such as "who is the President of Collingwood?", in an attempt to avoid salary cap pressures next season - mind you, Rocca gets the above question wrong, and falls back to $1000
5. Essendon / J. Watson / 'Great Expectations' / The guy's not even in the draft, yet, the tag "superstar" is being bandied about in various media outlets
6. Freo / Matthew Pavlich / 'Home Shopping Show' / his services are currently up for grabs on ebay.com as well.
7. Geelong / Cameron Ling / 'Video Hits' or 'Caught on Camera' / re-video charge
8. Hawthorn / Ben Dixon & Shane Crawford / 'The Villa' / both of these guys will be seen on the dance-bar of an Ibiza night spot at 3am & both will fancy their chances.
9. Kangaroos / Wayne Carey / 'Getaway' / was last seen scarpering from a small town in regional NSW
10. Melbourne / David Schwartz / 'Jenny Craig Ad' / After dieting on the 4 major food groups (McDonalds, KFC, Red Rooster & Hungry Jacks) for 6 months, The Ox will be continuing the long tradition of ex-footballers, Dipper & Jacko; some big shoes to fill, but they will be filled well
11. Port / Team / 'Happy Days' / after a great season so far these guys will be featured, with Matty Primus as the Fonz, the Cornes boys as Ralph Malph, and Warren Tredrea as Pottsie.
12. Richmond / Richo / 'The Osbournes' & 'Jerry Springer' / at least when Richo swears, it will blend in with the rest of the dialogue
13. Sydney / Peter Filandia / 'The Naked Chef' / I hope the host is wearing trousers as Peter demonstrates some of his favourite delicacies
14. St. Kilda / Milne / 'Malcolm in the Middle' / Pint-sized Milne stands in as a body double for Frankie Muniz
15. Eagles / Ben Cousins / 'Celebrity Squares' / Put him in the middle and he'll perform in any arena
16. Bulldogs / Libba / 'Fantasy Island' / Features as Tattoo's twin brother. See Tattoo run off in the distance yelling "the pain...the pain..." as Libba tags him around the vessell.
17. Tribunal / Bryan Collis / 'Judge Judy' / Collis is seen in the background taking notes about consistency
Regards,
Shags (the entrant formerly known as Anthony Edmonds)
From: "John O'Connell"
While not strictly following the requirement of a player from each club I am
at least making a very concise contribution.
Matthew Knights and Matthew Richardson to appear in Kath and Kim. Matthew
Knights will arrange a blind date between Richo and Sharon (character
played by Magda S.). Knighter has arranged for them to meet at a bar. Richo
will be seated at the bar and Sharon will be wearing a red off the shoulder
dress so that Richo can recognise her. Richo notices a lady in a red dress
enter from the far side of the bar. Richo gets up from his bar stool and
heads towards the approaching woman. When he is able to make a better
picture of the woman throgugh the dimly lit bar, a look of disgust comes
over his face. He throws his hands in the air and instead of greeting Sharon
he wheels around and heads sulkingly back to the bar muttering expletives.
One advantage for the producer and director who casts Richo in this role is
that he will not need any acting training and it should take only one take
to get it in the can, after all Richo's had plenty of practice.
John O'Connell
From: Cheryl Critchley
I think the Tigers have already put in a few good cameo appearances on
the field this year, but that's another story...
ADELAIDE: Darren Jarman - Korg 2000 BC - he looks like a caveman
Go Tigers,
From: Joe Kirby
Gday Simon,
While I will never forgive you for your horrendous oversights of the past, especially the Book Title & Author debacle I just cant help myself.
I look forward to seeing the return of "Different Strokes" with David Rodan starring (Yeah I know it's not a cameo) as Arnold.
Cheers,
From: steven watson
G'day Guys,
Some TV cameos for this weeks competition;
let the blood run free
nathan buckley
a current affair
anthony stevens
restless years
dale kickett
good times-
jason johnson (jj)
cheers
matty lappin
fat albert
tony lockett
skippy
mark 'roo' riccuito
spiderman
peter everitt
the brady bunch
greg stafford
peter burgoyne
bobby (robert) murphy
steptoe and son
gary ablett
superman
clark keating
happy days
richie (cunningham) vandenberg
Eight is enough
david schwarz
home and away
entire west coast team
(because those 2 words
mean such a difference)
Thanks,
Steven Watson
From: Glenn Rogers
Saverio Rocca - Big Brother
Nathan Buckley - The Footy Show (would be nice if he ONLY ever made a cameo
appearance)
Glenn From Balmain via Newport
From: Greg Hoysted
To whom it may concern,
Adelaide Nigel Smart The Pretender Mr Rains
(He would be great as the bald guy who towed around the oxygen cylinder
with the squeaky wheel.)
Brisbane Jason Akermanis Beauty and the Beast "Beast"
(He has started to sound like a shock jock so why not follow their typical
career path?)
Carlton Craig Bradley M.A.S.H. Radar
(Mash strung out a 3 year war into 15. Gary Burghoff was playing a teenager
when he was 45. Bradley is perfect.)
Collingwood Nick Davis Monarch of the Glen Lexie
(Can't make up his mind whether or not to commit.)
Essendon Dustin Fletcher Inspector Gadget Gadget
(Longest arms and legs in the competition.)
Fremantle Matthew Pavelic 6 Million Dollar Man Steve Austin
(Lots fo clubs want to rebuild him and make him better/richer than he was
before.)
Geelong Matthew Scarlett The Goodies Bill Oddie
(Looks too short and a bit of a fashion victim but gets the job done.)
Hawthorn Adrian Cox The Bill Any generic skinhead
(Looks the part and tough enough to be threatening.)
AAA Kangaroos Digby Morell Life Support Todd
(I don't know why, he just strikes me as a potential DIY guy with an
offbeat sense of humour.)
Melbourne Alastair Nicholson MDA Jason Donovan's character
(An absolute dead ringer.)
Port Adelaide Chad Cornes Pepsi Extreme sports any competitor
(Acts without thought or fear of consequences.)
Richmond Joel Bowden SouthPark Kenny
(The ultimate scapegoat.)
St Kilda Steven Milne Bob The Builder Dizzy
(We all go round in circles trying to follow him.)
Sydney Barry Hall The Bill (see Adrian Cox)
(The Bill turns over lots of parts so they need plenty of villians.)
West Coast Eagles Ashley McIntosh The Simpsons Ranier Wolfcastle
(Same physique and haircut.)
Western Bulldogs Tony Liberatore The Sopranos Any "Don"
(I wouldn't cross him.)
Greg and Sue (who has the remote control) Hoysted
From: Mark Smith
Dear Simon,
Adelaide Ben Hart Sebastian from Brideshead Revisited:good looking, always looks like he's "doin it easy"
Brisbane: Jason Akermanis Terry from the Sullivans: a little bit wild compared to his brothers. Favorite line: "Oh mum I didn't do it......really"
Carlton: Matty Lappin (I started it all last year, I may as well go with it again) dare I say it Gilligan from Gilligan's Island. Favorite Line "sorry skipper"
Collingwood: Nathan Buckley Norman Gunston - the little Aussie Bleeder
Essendon: Dean Rioli David Letterman 'cos he moves in a different time zone
Footscray: Scott West Eddie McGuire 'cos he's in everything
Hawthorn: Shaun Rehn Bruce Spence from any late night repeat of crappy Oz films from the seventies. Doesn't get the parts he used to
Geelong: Ben Graham: Captain Stubing from the Love Boat. incompetent captain whose team still does well in spite of his inadequacies.
Melbourne: Jeff White: Sophie Lee from Cartoon Corner: changed the complexion of the show once he arrived. We were attracted to watch something we previously couldn't be bothered with
West Coast: Dean Jakovich: Chandler from "the Bill" Doesn't make to too many friends but gets the job done, always a suspicion of shady past (steroids?)
Port Adelaide: Chad Cornes JohnSaffron (SBS Music Jamboree) a little bit naughty and precocious talent yet see the best of.
Richmond: Brad Ottens - Laura from Twin Peaks. Looked good early but went out of the picture.
StKilda: Justin Kochitske - kid on pier with dad at the end of every Seachange "you'll learn son, you'll learn"
Sydney: Barry Hall : Jethro from Beverley Hillbillies - bit of a hick in the big city.
North Melbourne: Glen Archer - Dad from "hey dad". Someone was always getting up to mischief in his house while he was home.
Regards Mark Smith
From: David Phillips This is how the real AFL TV rights should be fought.
ADELAIDE; NIGEL SMART; GET SMART
Nigel, son of Max and 99,stars in this new version of
the 60's spy spoof. Special Guest Star Malcolm Blight
as The Chief.
BRISBANE; JASON AKERMANIS; THE TONIGHT SHOW
He reckons he can do everything else! Heeeeeeres
Akker.
CARLTON; MATTY LAPPIN; CHEERS
Naah Too Easy
CARLTON; CRAIG BRADLEY; THE GOLDEN GIRLS
Braddles to play Blanche's current love interest.
COLLINGWOOD; LEON DAVIS; THE FRESH PRINCE OF BEL AIR
Neon Leon is cool as. Watch for MIB III!
ESSENDON; DAMIEN PEVERILL; ANGEL
The resemblance to the vampires is too coincidental. A
natural. Watch for the karaoke scene!
FREMANTLE; JEFF FARMER; BUFFY
The Wizard weaves his black magic in an attempt too
woo Willow from her lesbian ways.
GEELONG; MATTHEW SCARLETT; STARSKY AND HUTCH
A natural for the role of Huggy Bear's white honky
side kick.A lot of interest was shown from the team at
MOD SQUAD
HAWTHORN; SHANE CRAWFORD; GILLIGANS ISLAND
He would not be the skipper of this team, but still
the star! Imagin him in that little white sailors hat.
KANGAROOS; WAYNE CAREY; THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW
"I've been sleeping with my vice captains wife" naah
that's too easy
KANGAROOS; MICK MARTYN; BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
Mick as the host, beauties include Ita Butrossse,
Caroline Wilssson and Adam Heusskess. Lisssten
carefully.
MELBOURNE; TRAVIS JOHNSTONE; BAYWATCH
TJ joins CJ and Mitch for the latest version, Baywatch
in Beaumauris.
PORT ADELAIDE; MATTHEW PRIMUS; GIGANTOR
Bigger than big, stonger than strong, although this
week on the internet that could have so many meanings.
RICHMOND; WAYNE CAMPBELL; HR PUFNSTUFF
We all know when Jimmy grew up, left Living Island, he
changed his name to Wayne and joined the tiges. This
September he returns to save Fweddie the Flute and
catch up with Pufnstuff, Cling (Cameron?) and Clang
etc.
ST.KILDA; STEPHEN MILNE; DENNIS THE MENACE
An obvious choice. Special guest star Kevin Sheedy as
Mr. Wilson
SYDNEY; BARRY HALL; MINDER
In the tradition of Terry and in the footsteps of Ray,
Bazza becomes Arfur's newest business
associate.Lookout London.
WESTERN BULLDOGS; TONY LIBERATORE; DIFF'RENT STROKES
See Libba play Arnold..."watchyoutalkin'aboutwallace?"
WEST COAST; Sorry simon i've run out of ideas. When
DAVID SIERAKOWSKI played for us we used to call him
Ray (the hair). So he can host CAROLS BY CANDLELIGHT.
Another interstater to cut Dennis Walter's lunch.
from
From: Fiona & Brett Turner
Hi Team,
Adelaide: Riscutto The A team
From: "Cowan, Michael"
Simon,
A little of brief but what the hell!
Adelaide - Mark Riccuitto: The Sopranos just as Tony's henchmen, some of
his best work is done in the hotel carpark.
Lions - Michael Voss: The Bionic Man: They rebuilt him in three weeks &
plays a half for best on ground!
Carlton - Craig Bradley: Bellbird A great Australian classic that never
looked like ending
Collingwood - Eddie McGuire: Hogan's Hero's Col. Klink (Wayne Jackson)
thinks that he runs Stalag 13 (AFL) when we all know that Hogan (McGuire)
controls it with the help of Newkirk (Buckley) and Kinch (Malthouse)
Essendon - Joe Misiti: The Fugitive everyone is looking for him but can
never tag him.
Fremantle - Pavlich: Who wants to make me a millionare? Pavlich knows the
million dollar question but who will get to ask it - Connolly, Williams,
Ayres, Malthouse or Brittan?
Geelong - Ablett/Bartel/Kelly/Enright/Corey: Hi-5 The young kids full of
energy and enthusiasm with adrenaline to burn!
Hawthorn - Daniel Chick: The Littlest Hobo.The often repeated saga of will
he/won't he find his way home.
Kangaroos - Martyn/Archer/Stevens/Blakey: Dad's Army. Everyone knows how
the plot (game plan) goes but it still pulls in the rating (match) points.
Melbourne - McDonald/Whelan/Walsh/Bruce: Six Feet Under. A cast of unknowns
who carry an underrated but critically acclaimed show.
Port Adelaide - Gavin Wanganeen: The Road Runner The coyote (every other AFL
player) can never catch him with the ball.
Richmond: The List: Backyard Blitz where the entire list is torn down and
rebuilt on a minimum budget (by the supporters).
St. Kilda - Rod Butterss: Spin City The utimate sell job on a club with a
history too hard to sell.
Sydney - Paul Kelly: The Bill A great star in a show that has lost its
appeal and is now being partnered with new talent not up to the standard of
his old co-stars.
West Coast - Ben Cousins: Sunday Afternoon Arts show. A classy program
which no one ever gets to see.
Western Bulldogs - Brad Johnson: Dennis the Menace The kid with the cheeky
grin who annoys the hell out of his neigbours
( opposition)
Regards
Michael Cowan
From: john sutton
carlton: matty lappin channel 7 news (running amok)
collingwood n buckley 7:30 show (blood bank to sponsor maggies. give blood today)
adelaide m ricciutttio channel 7 (adel) news (pub brawl/police investigate the ramsgate)
brisbane aker local news (I kneed a new groin/ I'll join broncos)
kangas d king channel 9 news (smacks a hot dog vendor)
essington j hird this day tonight (rescues cat from tree)
richmond adam fiora channel 10 news (traffic incident)
swans bbbb hall channel 7 (syd) news (not sure how to take the fruit salad quote from tribunal/is he tough or is he carmen miranda?)
fremantle d kickett local 6 o'clock news(WA) (retires. excellent opportunity to show highlights of that derby game)
eagles b.cousins all local news programs (any excuse to get his bonce on the telly in perth)
saints p everitt lateline (accidentally locked in at luna park. police found him in hall of mirrors having a GHLAH)
geelong b graham prime news ( why we will beat bombers/ shown in a RAAF plane at avalon)
melbourne d schwarz sbs news (gets black eye in lygon st bar after retirement bash)
bulldogs n brown today (I was the first to finger now everyone is doing it)
port adelaide j poulton nightly news (SA) (kicking that goal after the siren)
hawthorns crawford a current affair (mixing glamour with footy/my figure secrets)
because footy is news
john sutton
From: Bob Crain
Dear Simon
I think you have been set up with this weeks Comp. Tony gave a brief that would require at least a 2-page entry even from the most minimalist of entrants. On account of this I have been forced to enter via snail mail this week, I hope it gets there on time. I know you dont like attachments.
Good Luck
ADELAIDE B. BURTON GOMER PYLE GOMER One look says Goooly Shucks Well Ill be Sarg
BRISBANE A. LYNCH MIAMI VICE SONNY CROCKETT Got the looks, got the moves but tends to push the bad guys around a lot mostly from the back.
CARLTON B. FEVOLA CHEERS NORM Hi Norm
COLWOOD J. CLEMENT HOGANS HEROES LE BEAU French and a bit of a sneaky type
ESSENDON G. MOORCROFT THE SIMPSONS BART SIMPSON Bart Simpson is Gary Moorcroft
FREMANTLE D. METROPOLIS COMEDY COMPANY CON THE FRUITER CUP A LA DAYS
GEELONG R. BURNS 3rd ROCK FROM THE SUN HARRY No idea and not sure about that either
HAWTHORN S. CRAWFORD BAYWATCH HE BELONGS
KANGAROOS M. BURTON ADAMS FAMILY LYRCH You Rang
MELBOURNE D. SCHWARZ BONANZA HOSS Gone but not forgotten
PT. ADELAIDE C.
CORNES HERCULES YOULIS Not a God but a good man to have at the Ramsgate
RICHMOND M. RICHARDSON HOME IMPROVEMENT TIM THE TOOLMAN Cute, funny, has all the right gear but not to good at what he is supposed to be good at.
St KILDA P. EVERITT SEINFELD KRAMER The resemblance is startling both physically and mentally
SYDNEY B. HALL WWF SMACKDOWN HIMSELF The future is now
WESTERN BULLDOGS D. GIANSIRACUSA EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND RAYMOND Everybody loves Daniel but for no particular reason
WEST COAST P & P MATERA FRASIER F & N CRANE Both very good but a bit nutty.
Regards,
Bob the Yank
From: David
Hi Simon
Trust you had a good time at the snow.
I have a couple of contributions to this weeks comp
>
1/ SEX AND THE CITY
New Cast List
?
Sarah Jessica Parker's character Carrrie Bradshaw to be played by SHANE CRAWFORD
Kim Cattrall's character Samantha Jones to be played by JAMES HIRD
Cynthia Nixon's character Miranda Hobbes to be played by NATHAN BURKE
Kristin Davis' character Charlotte York to be played by MATTY LAPPIN
Synopsis : Join our four modern men as the discuss their lives and loves at
their weekly gatherings at the Duke of Wellington hotel where
publican Brian "The Whale" Roberts, mixes and serves their
favourite cocktail, "The Cosmopolitan"
2/THE SUPERANNUATION GUARANTEE
I think that Mick Martin would be a perfect replacement for Bernie Fraser
in delivering the superannuation commercials.
I am feeling like some lowly side on a loosing streak as I have not been read
out or mentioned since round 7. That was when you read out my criticism of
you only reading out entries by the now called "Banks Street Eight". Have
made mental note to never criticise you again.
cheers
David Bean
From: Rosanne Monahan
Dear Simon
I am a long time listener, first time entrant. Hope you had a lovely time in the snow and made some snowmen
Check out this weeks TV Guide with Stars on Parade
Andrew McLeod
Adelaide Mr Squiggle See Andrew manipulate that ball it is as if he is a puppet and has that ball on a string
Jason Akimanis
Brisbane Dennis the Menace Jason, that little scamp is back from summer camp where he played lots of sports i.e. rugby grade 4, soccer B Fevola
Carlton The Sweeny Is this it for our star Nathan Buckley
Collingwood The Goodies In a controversial move Nathan has joined the gang and is taking over some of Tims roles James Hird
Essendon Charmed James makes a special quest appearance as a White Light (you know like Leo those ones who walk on water and have the hand to heal)
Matthew Pavlich
Fremantle Temptation Island Pavlich is sent to a tropical retreat, here he must undergo a serious of mathematic tests and look out for the geographic pop quiz
Ronnie Burns
Geelong MTV Ronnie is back and is back from the dead Shane Crawford
Hawthorn Bay Watch With Shanes good looks and physique Jess Sinclair
Kangaroos The Saint Jess has joined this show as the new Saint
David Schwarz
Melbourne Fantasy Island See David in his fantasy of playing 350 games, winning half dozen bronlow medals and a couple of premierships (thank god its only a dream)
Chad Cornes
Port Adelaide Mastermind Mastermind is back and is in a new format Matthew Richardson
Richmond Lost in Space Matthew is lost and in a big way Robert Harvey
St Kilda ER Robert is back and is already stamping his authority, but what will happen next will shock you as Robert is once again challenged by the re-occurring nightmare of that fateful hunting trip to that large green paddock.
Nick Daffy
Sydney Chances The girls are starting to get worried Tony Liberatori
Western Bulldogs The A Team In a surprise shift from WWF, Tony has a recurring role as the Enforcer Peter Matera/
West Coast Red Dwarf Peter has meowed in as the replacement for Cat (some think he should have got the role originally as he is probably as old as Cat is.
Love
Rosanne Monahan
From: "Sewell, Phillip" Barry Hall Syd. Walker (Walker Texas
Ranger)
Jason Akermanis Bris. The Futurtive
Nigel Smart Adl. Lex Luthar (smallville)
Peter Matera Wc Doctor Spock
Matthew Lloyd Ess Remmington Steele
Matthew Scarlett Gee Epstien (Welcome back Cotter)
Shane Crawford Haw. Gordon Tracey (Thunderbirds)
Darren Gasper Rich. Hair Bear.
Scott Camporeale Carl. Nick Gianopoulous ( Accropolis
Now)
Steven Milne STK Blues Clues
Che Cocky Collins PA Boney
Trent Croad Freo Eddie McGuire (Who wants to
be a millionaire)
Sav Rocca NM Herman Munster (The Munsters)
Tony Liberatore Foots Tattoo (Fantacy Island)
Anthony Rocca Coll Doug Mulray ( Beauty and the
Beast)
Andrew Leoncelli Melb. Ridge (Bold and the
beautiful)
Phil from Sunbury.
From David McNiece
ADELAIDE
Mark Ricciutto- Robert de Niro's role in Taxi Driver-You talking to me
BRISBANE
Jason Akermanis-As Lou Richards on the World of Sport Footy Panel saying whatever comes into his head first.
CARLTON
Corey McKernan-My Names McKernan, What's Yours?
Andrew McKay- Harry's Practice
COLLINGWOOD
Nathan Buckley- The Untouchables or replacing Keirin Perkins on the "Kick it to me" ads
Scott Cummings- Lucky Grylls in Bargearse
ESSENDON
Michael Long- Reg Lindsays Country Hour
FREMANTLE
Matthew Pavlich- Australia's Most Wanted
Dale Kickett-Changing Rooms
GEELONG
Bartels,Kelly, Ablett jnr- Robbie,Ernie & Chip in My Three Sons
HAWTHORN
Daniel Chick-Who wants to be a millionaire (Fastest finger first)
Adrian Cox- Mr Freeze in Batman
The whole forward line- Fashion parade shows on Foxtel
MELBOURNE
Chris Lamb- Hymie from Get Smart
NORF MELBOURNE
Micky Martyn- Doug Mulray's replacement on Beauty and the Beast or as an identical twin brother to Ridge in the Bold And The Beautiful
PORT ADELAIDE
The Cornes Brothers and Keith Ellis- Smackdown/Wrestlemania (work the crowd into a frenzy)
RICHMOND
The whole side- Lost In Space
ST KILDA
Robert Harvey-Any medical show where someone is having an operation
SYDNEY
Barry Hall-Shirty the slightly aggressive bear from The Late Show, or World Championship Wrestling
WEST COAST EAGLES
Troy Wilson Experience- Countdown Chartbusters Segment
WESTERN BULLDOGS
Chris Grant- Milton The Monster
WAYNE CAREY-Diceman, what number the dice lands on is what club he finishes up at. Maybe a cameo as Jake from Melrose Place
From: John Clements
hi simon, most wise and worthy judge,
The pre show advertising would be the give away. Eddie spruiking " watch
out for our first million dollar winner ever."
"Tonight our contestants come from a variety of positions. We have Nathan
Buckley from Collingwood in Victoria, Anthony Rocca from Collingwood West
in Victoria, Chris Tarrant from Abbottsford East and Jarrod Molloy from
Victoria Park in Melbourne."
The show would run as follows: E: "So Nathan what do you do for a Living?"
N: Play football ($100) A. Something unknown of in Essendon
After phoning friend Ian Collins from Docklands, Nathan Settles on D and
becomes Australia's first Millionaire winner quickly followed by the other
contestants.
from 3366 Faction
John Clements and Paul Russo
From: Dianne Douvitsas
Guys,
Have had to use my partenrs account she won't mind...........
Great show, keep on talking.
Joe Jakob
Adelaide Mark Riccutio Skippy Roo joins Sonny as Skippy's sidekick. Producers felt a bit more grunt was needed
Brisbane Martin Pike Kojak Replacement for 1 episode as Kojak swallowed his lollipop and is in hospital
Carlton Scott Camporeale Pizza Delivery boy ( has the looks of a Lygon St specialist)
Collingwood Nick Davis The Young & The Restless An obvious inclusion in any role given the years events
Essendon James Herd Happy Days Clean Cut friend of Ritchie Cunningham
Fremantle Matthew Pavlich The Munster's Hermans Munster's Younger Brother
Geelong Ronnie Burns Hi-5 With his moves, he'd fit right in
Hawthorn Daniel Chick Buffy (pre hair cut days) Long haired, finger missing creature needing slaying by Buffy and crew
Kangaroos Mickey Martin The Addams Family Uncle Festers Twin Brother
Melbourne Travis Johnstone The Simpson's With hair like that, he appears as replacement for Sideshow Bob
Port Adelaide Matthew PrimusBaywatch Australian rival for David Hasselhoffs character
Richmond Matthew Richardson Home + Away Could be a petulant friend of any of the characters in the show
St.Kilda Steve LawrencePower RangersThe ill fated Red,White & Black power ranger, good pedigree just didnt quite make it
Sydney Barry Hall The Bill Villan type lingering either in a pub, back lane or inside Sunhill police station
West Coast Ben Cousins The Bold & The Beautiful Just an obvious inclusion
Western Bulldogs Tony Liberatore Smallville Sidekick to Lex Luthors character
From: Timothy Laurence Wood
Dear Coodabeens
What would happen if the footballers wnet one step further and became the stars of the shows. Here are some ideas:
Other ideas include Malcolm Michael in the Middle, Everybody loves Ronnie and
Russell Robertsons Hypothecticals.
Cheers,
Tim Wood, Yarrambat.
From: KyselaO
Si
In the time-honoured tradition I've deviated from the Competition's loose
requirements this week, declaring 3AW football personalities eligible for
Oliver Kysela
From: Paul Martin
Simon, (please disregard the previous, unless of course it ranks as a mentionable, hee, hee.)
Recently our football seasonwas again"blessed" with a couple ofgames of one day cricket.
ShaneCrawford andPunter, (ironic name? No. Sogiven of course, forhis long bombs from 75 out),wereon the Tele. giving thecricketing lads some promotional assistance.
So on hearing that this weeks competition was to be,yawn, ho-hum, "simple and straight forward",I thought......................mmmmm.
Name a show and put a player in a cameo role..............................answer limited to one6 ball Brett Lee over.
1st. Ball:
Nathan "Let the blood run free" Buckley.............Lee turns,... runs in.......... Oh...short... but not punished by a very watchful batsman.
2nd. Ball:
Barry "Homicide" Hall............................................. Lee...in from the lockett end.......Oh, that'svery quick, and short again......the umpire has a goodlook.......no....another dot ball.
3rd. Ball:
Magilla Gorilla....... matthew pavlich................................ for sale, but this time by silent auction!!...................That's a better rhythm,great line and length....yes the captains happy with that one.
4th. Ball:
Danger Island / Banana Splits................Jason "uh-oh chongo" Akermanis, as the wow kappow, chongo, in thisideal, NON-speaking role.....
Now that'savery cleverly disguised slower ball. Looking at the replay, yes beautifully bowled out of the back of the hand.
5th. Ball:
Chances..................... mark ricciuto............. as alex taylor, No? Hey, you tell him he can't have the role! ....... Whoops, that's a full toss.
Surprised the batsman butthere'sno runs. Thebowler mustconcentrate here, one ball to go, it couldbeconsecutive maidens.
6th. Ball:
Red Dwarf........spider everitt...........as dave lister....for the dreadlocks not the rimmer quote of"you've got less brains than aRhesus monkey during the first course of anethnicwedding banquet".
shane crawford ........ as the cat....... "You're totally egocentric, you flee at the first sign oftrouble, you always look
outfor Number One, you're vain, you're narcissistic and you're self-obsessed".
Cat: "Hey, you just listed all my best features"!
glenn manton............ as the dry humoured computer, holly.
and simon whelan...........as the much loved andhated,rimmer.........A hologram of the late arnold rimmer possibly the most
a-retentive man who ever lived.........................
Oh, full, fast.....yorked him! ....That's clean bowled!
(Mmmmmm, on reflection, maybe not a good idea after all.)
From the:
"I want the AFL field umpires team of the centuryto be:DICK, HEAD, and CRAPP". - Action Faction.
(formerly Paul Martin).
ROBYN CORBOY
AdelaideMark RicciutoCheers - Australian version -set in the bar andcarpark of "The Swinging Arms"
Hotel.Where "everyone knows your name".
BrisbaneJason AkermanisGeoffrey Robertson's Hypotheticals -Puts panelists in the position ofimagingthey play for
theWallabies or beingsomeone whoseopinion actually matters.
Carlton Lance WitnallThe Fat- Lance relates his latest experience on the Farm.
Collingwood - Nathan Buckley CSI (Collingwood Scientific Investigators) - Using state of the art forensic evidence the team
clearsBucks of any impropriety. Look for the twist at the end involving Cameron Ling and
the OJSimpsoncase.
EssendonJames HirdRPA -seedoctors restore James' golden boy looks after his "car accident" facial injuries.
Geelong Mark ThompsonThe Osbournes - Ozzy teaches Bomber the "F" word.
Fremantle Matthew PavlichWho Wants to be a Millionnaire - For one million dollars, Eddy asks "Which club wil you play for in 2003, A- Collingwood B - Collingwood etc etc.
Hawthorn Nathan ThompsonThe Bold and the Beautiful - Scandal within the B & B community as Nathan's locks are
ruffledduring a game. See the first on field styling performedat an AFL game.
KangaroosWayne CareyBig Brother Uncut - Fortunately, there were no cameras in the house during this episode.
MelbourneDavid SwartzBurkes Backyard - Don visits David in retirement - at his mum's house.
Port Adelaide - Warren Tredrea Smallville - Warren guest stars as Clarks older brother who seemsunaffected by
Kryptonite.
Richmond Matthew RIchardson - Changing Rooms - This week we have toguess what colours Suzie and the team
choose forRicho's bedroom(from black and yellow to Navy Blue or Red, White & Blue,
maybeblue and white vertical stripes?)
Swans Paul Kelly Sixty Minutes - Paul explains how this is the cumulativeamount oftime you wouldneed to
deduct off the end of this years Swans games for them to bein the eight.
Western Bulldogs - Luke Darcy - Hot Auctions - To solve their financial problems the Bullies put their most valuable asset on
themarket - watch the bids fly!
West Coast - Troy WilsonHome & Away - See Troy descend fromconfident and assured performertobumbling comic
reliefas the team bus leaves Perthfor Summer Bay.
Recommended viewing - The Simpsons - Bart & Lisa become jealous of their previously unnoticed brother Adam.
Rex the Runt (SBS 18/7) - Is this a typo?
The West Wing - Scott recalls his early days at Whitten Oval.
Ed - Series final -Ed is torn between the three loves of his life (Popularity, Collingwood &Nathan).
Malcolm in the Middle - Leigh starts Mal Michael in the centre.
I'mtired.
GC TWO - Deniliquin
Scottiedodds@aol.com
G'day fellas
I'm afraid I might have gotten a little carried away.
This week's viewing on the AFL channel:
Monday:
7.00 Fraiser - Starring Frasier Gehrig.
7.30 Great Conspiracies: John Elliott reveals the plans of QUIT and the Anti-Cancer Council that will give Carlton the wooden spoon and make Princes Park a non-smoking venue.
8.30 Movie: Twins - Trent Croad and Jeff Farmer star as identical twins separated at birth who accidentally meet while playing for Fremantle. Only their coach can tell them apart.
10.30 The Jerry Springer Show - Famous Love Triangles: Eddie McQuire and Tania Minnico discuss their love for Nathan Buckley.
11.30 TV Classics: Captain Scarlett - When Bomber Thompson and the Mysterons on the match committee drop Ben Graham to the seconds Matthew is promoted to Captain.
Tuesday:
7.00 Fraiser - Frasier has a falling out with team who want to do either Mamma Mia or The Wizard of Oz. Martin says they should settle it by having a vote.
7.30 Great Conspiracies: Alister Lynch reveals Leigh Matthews plans for world domination. Includes previously unseen footage of the entire French Parliament singing the Brisbane Lions song.
8.30 Movie: MIB2 - Mr Smith and Mr Jones are back together in the last footy jumper they will ever wear. Joel Smith and Aussie Jones find themselves playing in the same side again after both being traded to Carlton, together they are the Men in Blue.
10.30 The Panel - Jeff Geischen and Rowan Sawers discussed the best and worst umpiring decisions of the week.
11.30 TV Classics: The Patty Duke Show -Stars Trent Croad and Jeff Farmer as identical cousins.
Wednesday:
7.00 Fraiser - Frasier has a falling out with Nyles over who is the better Tenors, Pavarotti, Careras & Domingo or Jakovich, McKenna & Worsfold. Martin couldn't care less.
7.30 Great Conspiracies: John Elliott uncovers Wayne Jackson and the AFL's plans to prevent Carlton winning the flag every year in tonights episode called "The Salary Cap."
8.30 Movie: Sleepy Hollow - The ghost of a Headless Horseman rides up and down the Geelong Freeway but everyone is more concerned about making sure the Cats into the finals.
10.30 Smallville - Starring Andrew McLoud as Clark Kent & Nigel Smart as Lex Luthor
So that someone else in the Smallville Crows can get some Brownlow votes Lex places kryptonite in Clark's jock strap with hilarious results.
11.30 TV Classics: Gillian's Island - Stars Danny Frawley as Gillian, Clinton Casey as The Skipper & Matty Richardson as Ginger. Zany long running adventures of a group of castaways stranded on an uncharted desert isle after the cruise ship the SS Richmond runs ground (again).
Thursday
7.00 Fraiser - Frasier has a falling out with Eddie (the Dog) when he casts Spider Everitt as Toto. Martin takes his own life.
7.30 Great Conspiracies: Eddie McQuire exposes the plot by AFL umpires and the Tribunal to deprive Nathan Buckley of a Brownlow Medal.
8.30 The Gutnicks at Number 42: Sit-com/Chat show
9.30 Full Frontal: Comedy with Matthew Primus
10.30 TV Classics: Star Trek - Bones finds out that Barry Hall is really a Klingon, but before he can tell anyone the Rocket Eade selfdestructs.
Friday
7.00 Fraiser - For Martin's Funeral Frasier books Jakovich, McKenna and Worsfold, but has a falling out with Daphne who has booked Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton.
7.30 The Simpsons - Voices of James Hird (Marge), Matthew Lloyd (Homer), Mark McVeigh (Bart), John Barnes (Moe), Graeme McMahon (Mayor Quimby) Kevin Sheedy (Mr Burns) & Mark Harvey (Smithers).
Springfield's star netballer Marge is hurt when Bart accidentally sprays her with hydrochloric acid. The Burns Bombers team look like missing the play-offs and Mayor Quimby tries to replace Mr Burns as Team Manager with Smithers until Marge returns to the side in a specially designed helmet.
8.28 Great Conspiracies: John Elliot looks at Who framed Matty Lappin
8.30 Wallace and Gromit: Stars Terry Wallace and David 'Gromit' Smorgon.
When Gromit can't make the weekly player match payments, Wallace gets the team to accept cheese instead of cash.
Rgds
John and Diane Lyon
Dear Coodabeens, is this any good?
Adelaide: Nigel Smart - Get Smart
Bris: Justin Leppitsch - Happy Days (moonlighting as Ralph Malph)
Carl: Brendan Fevola - The Bill (has he paid for the damage yet?)
Coll: Nathan Buckley - Judge Judy (then he'd get a real sentence!)
Ess: Matthew Lloyd - Burke's Backyard (he's the AFL's best gardener, by far...)
Freo: Matthew Pavlich - Hot Property (an obvious fit)
Geel: Ronnie Burns - The Simpsons (as Mr Burns) / Popstars (doing Smiley?)
Haw: Shane Crawford - Popstars (where else?)
Melb: Clint Bizzell - Buffy (time he had another witch in his life)
North: Wayne Carey - Leave it to Beaver (doesn't he look like Wally?)
Port: Damian Hardwick - Malcolm in the Middle (as Francis - can you tell them apart?)
Rich: Matthew Richardson - The New Price is Right (about half, I reckon)
Syd: Barry Hall - Beauty and the Beast (a natural double)
St.K.: the whole club - All Saints / Room for Improvement
W. C.: Glen Jakovich - The Incredible Hulk (both on steroids!)
W.B.: Libba - Ground Force (bth are in 'n' under...)
From: Dr Ken Dowd
Dear Coodabeens,
*Tony (no nonsense,line & length):-Player:Wayne Carey
Show:Celebrity Big Brother
Role:The intruder
*Jeff (prefers obtuse & cryptic):-Oft cried out in jest-not a Holden (yet 'Bruiser' is the star).
*Simon (Doesn't mind it offbeat,as long as it was good):My team of celebrities that every network has,from the backline:-
From Ken Dowd
From: paul prole Dear Simon,
Only four players came to mind for this topic, and yep,
the're all from the sixties!
Bobby Skilton - The Hathaways
John Nicholls - Division 4
John Newman - Divorce Court
Peter McKenna - Sunnyside Up
Regards,
Paul Prole
From: "Treseder, Peter"
Dear Coodabeens, (Notice the generic greeting, following the nature of
Jeff's opening comments last week, re Simon not being there)
The TV will never be as good as this.
AAA Kangaroos - Brent Harvey as "Sonny" in "Skippy" - Nothing like having a
grown up look like a 13 year old, also there is the Kangaroo link
Adelaide - Nigel Smart as Uncle Fester, two great bald performers
Brisbane - Jason Akermanis - As the latest addition to professional
wrestling - A mouth, look and attitude truly belongs in "sports
entertainment" with the Rock, Hulk Hogan and Triple H
Carlton - Craig Bradley - "Golden Girls" - Love interest for any of the
"girls" I am sure that would appreciate an older man
Collingwood - Nathan Buckley in "Everybody Loves Nathan" - Eddie McGuire
makes a cameo appearance as Nathan's doting obbsessing mother.
Essendon - James Hird as Captain James T Kirk from the starship Enterprise -
Everyone wants a captain that is cool under pressure and lets his actions do
the talking when neccessary.
Fremantle - Matthew Pavlich, given the talk of drafting and contracts
Matthew will star in "Who wants to be a Millionairre"
Geelong - Steven King and David Clarke will revie the roles of "Bob" and
"Cookie" in a new production of
A Country Practice"
Hawthorn - Shane Crawford will take on the role as "Gopher" in a new version
of the "Love Boat" - he has the words, the looks maybe he could succeed
where Gopher failed so many times
Melbourne - "The Sopranos" are forced to re-evaluate the "family" business,
when the Leoncelli's come to town
Port Adelaide - The "Cornes" family comes to TV in answer to "The Osbournes"
- language, gestures the Cornes boys have the lot and dad isn't too shabby
either.
Richmond - Casting was exceptionally difficult at Tigerland due to the many
roles that Richo could play - Gilligan, Larraby, Homer Simpson, Corporal
Agarn, Darren Stevens, Major Healey, Nudge, Potsy, Gomer Pyle, Boss Hogg,
Manuel
St Kilda - Again casting proves difficult when all players apart from Robert
Harvey applied for the role of Basil Fawlty, how ever in the end it went to
the tall and lanky Spider Everitt
Sydney - Barry Hall as the Incredible Hulk - don't make him angry, you won't
like him if he is angry. (ask Matty Primus)
West Coast - Glenn Jakovich as Hymie in new Get Smart production - one word
describes both - robotic
Western Bulldogs - Libba in a choice of roles, Tattoo from Fantasy Island or
"Lofty" from "it ain't half hot mum"
Peter Treseder
From: tim gee
Dear that happy chappy Simon,
Hey Hey its Saturday, Coodabeens day, Hoobloodyray!
The comp, the comp, Robert Klomp likes the comp!
Hee Bee Jee Bee, Ive gotta talk about Tee Vee.
Melrose Place, in your face, bring on the pace,
Abletts young ace!
F Troop, gets the boot in the clacker, roll on young
Kraker.
TV news, someone spews, keep talkin Andrew Bews.
Theres something about Mary, take a bow, Mr Carey.
The Winners like a sinner, come on in Mr Grinter.
Bob the Builder is a turd, can you hammer Mr Hird?
Welcome Back Cotter, now go away! Youve been
replaced by Jonathon Hay!
Water Rats, what a load of Crap! Make it better by
adding Mr Plapp
Theres a bear in there, a chair as well, everyone
clap, its Jason Snell!
Lovely, Chuvely, crack the bubbly,
On the docks, under the clocks, Waiting for Godot is
one retired Ox
The final show, is about to go, call it yellow, call
it blue, call it red if you will, do not, however,
call it Dew.
There you go Mr Whelan, I hope you like the feelin.
Have fun in the sun
Timmy G
=====
Tim Goddard
From: Luke Gillies
Simon,
The Fox Footy Channels answer to Channel Tens hit comedy The Osbournes would no doubt be The Lappins
In 'The Lappins' Ring leader Mathew Lappin and flat mates Brendon Fevola and Ryan Houlihan, are followed around by a camera crew, who tape the sometimes controversial yet always entertaining lives of the Carlton Trio.
As per The Osbournes every second word begins with F and most scenes descend into argument.Highlights of the show would include;
-The three waking up after a hard night in Chapple Street and try to piece together what they did and whether or not it is necessary to avoid John Elliott/Media as they arrive at Optus Oval for training.
-The three lead by Lappin hanging abuse on team mate Jimmy Plunkett for having Red Hair
-Following the three walking home from a King Street Nightclub down Sydney Road swearing at, and abusing passes buy and vandalising small shrubs
-Arguing over whose turn it is to walk up the shops to get the Milk, then deciding that everyone is too hung over, thus settling on the expired Milk thats already in the fridge as according to Matty Lappin Its a good hang over cure
Luke Gillies
Yarra Valley Old Boys
From: LnnLuc@aol.com
Dear Coodabeens
CAMEO APPEARANCES
BRISBANE - JASON AKERMANIS - 'UNDERCOVER ANGELS'
After a series of bizarre statements, the Angels attempt to reunite Jason with reality.
COLLINGWOOD - NATHAN BUCKLEY - 'ALL SAINTS'
Nathan discusses with Dr. Mitch Stevens just why an elbow to the head is far more dangerous than rubbing blood onto a jumper.
FREMANTLE - MATTHEW PAVLICH - "ANTIQUES ROADSHOW' (CABLE TV)
Flying Start Management approach the shows panel of experts to find the value of a 20 year old centre half back they found in a Woodville shop in 1999.
HAWTHORN -SHANE CRAWFORD -'DAWSONS CREEK'
Good looking and 28 years old. Shane is perfect to play an average 15 year old with suitable teenage angst.
PORT ADELAIDE- MATTHEW PRIMUS - 'BAYWATCH'
Matthew is a cameo, oiled up and dressed in Speedos with the Baywatch team. Should nip in the bud any attempts to use Matthew as a gay icon on the Internet.
GEELONG - BEN GRAHAM -'McLEODS DAUGHTERS'
Ben agrees to a cameo because the show is about real people, real problems, real utes and real beaut sheilas.
RICHMOND - MATTHEW RICHARDSON - 'GEOFFREY ROBERTSON'S HYPOTHETICAL
Episode title "China, the Olympics and Human Rights".
When token sports person Matthew Richardson is asked his thoughts on Red China,
Matthew replies "never use it with a blue tablecloth". Matthew is edited out of the remaining portion of the show.
ST KILDA - ROB BUTTERSS - 'BURKES BACKYARD'
Rod appears on the show and discusses his love of nature and who some trees should be woodchipped.
SWANS - TONY LOCKETT - 'SIX FEET UNDER'
Pluggers cameo involves him pretending to be a corpse, propped up in the corner of the funeral home doing nothing for the entire show. Very much like his comeback with the Swans.
From:
Paul Lucas
From: Peter Cox
Adelaide Ben Hart Celebrity Big Brother Low-profile contestant, will survive into last few rounds by doing the team thing.
Brisbane Daniel Bradshaw Sex and the city Carrie's Australian cousin.
Carlton Andy McKay Always Greener Guest appearance as country vet.
Collingwood Nathan Buckley National Nine News It worked for Tim Watson didn't it?
Essendon James Hird ST Enterprise Goodie-Goodie captain has been befriending hostile aliens for years.
Fremantle Matty Pavlich Who wants to be a millionaire? Doesn't he? Innovative way for Eddie to fit him into salary cap for next year. Has previous brainiac Freo contestant "Christopher" & Kim Beazley, as life-lines.
Geelong Joel Corey Friends It's the name, obviously.
Hawthorn Adrian Cox Smallville Dead ringer for Lex Luthor character.
Kangaroos Johnny Blakey Survivor Endurance only surpassed by Sir Craig.
Melbourne Matthew Whelan Ground Force Hear he's a bit of a wrecker.
Port Power Josh Francou Law and Order Wouldn't want to have to arrest this baddie.
Richmond Ray Hall Everybody Loves Raymond They sure do at Tigerland!
StKilda Aaron Hamill Secret Life of Us Prominent St Kilda identity, an upper torso to make Claudia Karvan swoon.
Sydney Plugger Hot Auctions Plugger moves out of Sydney, in search of the quiet life.
West Coast Ben Cousins The Great Outdoors Guest appearance showing his secret WA hideaway that even Ernie hasn't visited.
Doggies Libba Inspector Montalbano (SBS) Diminutive Italian gent cited for foul play; protests innocence.
-- Peter Cox
From: Travis Bull
Entry By: Travis Bull
Saints Stewie loewe, Robert Harvey - Aerobics Oz Style (The same old people doing the same old thing every week)
Hawks - Daniel Chick (Miami Vice)
Richmond - Matthew Richardson - (TV's Bloopers & Practical Jokes)
Carlton - Craig Bradley (SuperGran)
Melbourne - Travis Johnstone (Dr Who) Fit in nicely wrapped in a giant hand knitted scarf
Freemantle - Mathew Pavlich (Knightrider)
Adelaide - Mark Bickley (Happy Days) would slot into the cast nicely as a replacement for Potsey Webber
Brisbane - Jason Akermanis (Being John Malkovich) imagine it Jason Akermanis surrounded by Jason Akermanis and Jason Akermanis.
Western Bulldogs - Mathew Croft (Cop Shop) Obviously a villain
Essendon - Kevin Sheedy (Hey Dad) how good would a conversation be between him and Betty
Sydney - Barry Hall (The A-Team)
North Melbourne - Spider Burton (The Colin Carpenter Show)
Collingwood - Mick Malthouse (The Muppets) Obviously as one of the two old guys that sit in the balcony and heckle, other old guy Denis Pagan
West Coast - Peter Matera (Shirl's Neighborhood)
Geelong - Tom Harley (Dawson's Creek)
Port Adelaide - Mathew Primus (Good Morning Australia with Bert Newton) could see him sitting across from Big Kev discussing the virtues of the non toxic oven cleaner.
From: Melanie Bach
When the end draws nigh on a career on the ground
Many of the gents mentioned below will be television bound
Wayne Carey appears as a guest performer in....... The Scarlet Pimpernel
They seek him here
They seek him there
Those footy clubs, they seek him everywhere!
Phil Matera appears in Escape of the Artful Dodger.....for dodging the tribunal by the skin of his teeth
Damien Monkhurst as Lurch's long lost cousin in The Addams Family
Andrew McLeod has a dramatic sex change operationfor his appearancein McLeod's Daughters
Brad Ottens, Andy Mills and probably most of the Richmond Football Club (maybe this explains how they've been playing) in Sunday Sunrise
Nathan Buckley replaces Grissom in CSI. Where does all that blood come from?
Richo goes back to his roots becoming a host for Play School where he can perfect his spitting the dummy
Wayne Carey and Anthony Stevens have it out on Jerry Springer, "Really Bad Reunions" show
This is just a sample of what lies in store for some of the big names
Keep glued to the screen for more of the same
From:
grant and christine
Dear Simon,
Here are our suggestions for TV appearances for each Club
Nathan Buckley.Who wants to be a Millionaire, again.
Glen JackovitchChanging roomsGlen decorates David Neitzs house and paints the bedroom Yellow and Blue with a pastel Eagle motif.
David NeitzChanging rooms is seen trying to decorate Glen Jackovitchs room. Does a great job but unfortunately hes in the wrong house
Barry HallRaw is War as Kanes evil Brother..masked of course
Jason Akermanis.Jerry Springer Episode title–I want to tell you to your face..I wont play with you!”
Young Abblett..Highway to heaven ..As Son of GOD
Shane Crawford.. Home and away.Sam is invited to play for the Yabby Creek FC and meets Shane at training
Andrew McLoud..Burkes Backyard. The episode where Andrew kicks a ball with Don forcing him to miss the Grandfinal with a torn ligament
Gavin Wanganeen..PlaySchoolspecial subject –how to get what you want by pretending”
Troy Cook.Guest star in Crocodile Hunter. One episode only. OOps
Fraser Gehrig..Jesse Raphael show episode titled – I had it all but now its all gone”
Michael RichardsonRickyLakeepisodetitled –Gifted footballers say..Why wont they kick it to us. We are people to”
Glen MantonHome Shopping network Body Jewellry
Tony LiberatoreEastenders as conman who will do anything it takes
James HirdBlue Heelers as incorruptible honest policeman. Gets killed off for being too honest. Sarge becomes the suspect
Anthony Stevens..The fifth Wiggle. One episode leads to a long term contract and a career in Childrens television
Grant and Christine
Wodonga
From:
Wendy Randall
Come and see all the animals on Harry's Practice
Join Harry as he does the rounds at the local zoo where a wounded Hawk called "Thommo" and an extroverted magpie called Rocca leap spectacularly onto his shoulders and compete for scraps thrown from their handlers.
Will the Eagles soar to dizzying heights or will their wings be clipped? Harry concludes that they are territorial and best suited in their own environment.
See him duel and try and tame a flamboyantex-circus lion called, "Acker" who shows off by walking on his two front paws. Harry tries to get close enough to cure his skin condition.
Watch how Harry unsuccessfully tries to reintroduce a wild buck kangaroo called "Carey" to the mob and how they violently turn on him. There are many offers from interstatemenageriesrivalling to take "Carey" for their own which finally solves all of Harry's problems.
Tune in to seehowHarry uses Pavlov's behaviour modification techniques on an erratic arachnid called "Spider" His mission is to control Spider's aggressive tendencies such as throwing discarded beer cans at passersby.
While standing in the Crows cage Harry explains whythey fight when theyget near the bars
A highlight is the return to the local Swan flock of legend "Plugger" replacing a young exuberant Swan named Baz who was outed from the enclosure after becoming upset and gouging the keeper's face
And we come across the zoo mascot, a pudgy little bulldog called "Libba", who has an odd penchant for wrestling people to the ground, clawing and biting and savaging his victims. Harry's diagnosis, "INCURABLE.... PUT DOWN!"
Stay entranced as young frisky feline Cats romp around with Harry; baulking, weaving and having a ball. Watch Harry's amazed face as heobserves themperforming the trick of climbing to the top ofa ladder.
Thebiggest challenge of Harry's career is tofearlessly enter the Tigers den. Harry has even offered his services for free!!! How willHarry lift them out of their pathoson their slideto rock bottom? Will he tame the rogue tiger "Richo" who relentlessly savages the cubs in the pack? Can he resurrect the battle-scarred former leader of the pack, "Knighta" to his former glory? WillHarry in turn be savaged and mauled to never hold a stethoscope again?
Stay tuned for entertainment galore as Harry weaves his powerful magic and rises to meet the challenges ahead.
Hi folks, here's my entry for this round. One question. Are we allowed to have movies. If not, I've listed an alternative below it for Port Adelaide and the Bulldogs.
Adelaide
Andrew McLeod
McLeods Daughters
Brisbane
Martin Pike
Survivor
Carlton
Matthew Lappin
Home and away
-His acting is good enough
Collingwood
S. OBree and C. Steinfort
The Cutting Edge
Essendon
Jordon Bannister
Upstairs, Downstairs
Fremantle
Andrew Shipp
Water Rats
Geelong
Gary Ablett Junior
Star Trek: The next generation
Hawthorn
Shane Crawford
Pardise Beach
Kangaroos
Wayne Carey
Temptation Island
Melbourne
Darren Jolley
Happy Days
Port Adelaide
Jarred Poulton
(Last action hero) or Saved by the bell
Richmond
Matthew Richarson
Where are they now
St Kilda
Matt Maguire
Who Wants to be a Millionaire
Sydney
Barry Hall
Jerry Springer
West Coast
Michael Gardiner
The Great Outdoors
Western Bulldogs
Matthew Croft
Simon Garlick
(Karate Kid)
-Like Daniel LaRusso, he always takes on much larger opponents.
Surprise Chef
Danny Hawksworth
From: Basil
Dear Simon,
I chose my cameos to star in Australian soaps:
v
ADELAIDE - MARK RICCUITO - ACROPOLIS NOW
Joins the cast as Effie's love interest. Only seen for one episode.
BRISBANE - JASON ACKERMANIS - SOLO ONE
Revives the role of a former Brisbane FC president. As Snr Constable Gary
Hogan, if a problem needs to be aired, just call Solo One.
CARLTON - MATTHEW LAPPIN - ALVIN PURPLE
Stars in the television series re-make of Alvin Purple. Matthews faking
ability secures him the role of Alvins' brother Theodore.
COLLINGWWOD - SIMON PRESTIGIACOMO - THE LAST OF THE AUSTRALIANS
A cameo role as Ted Cooke's favourite Collingwood player.
ESSENDON - MATTHEW LLOYD - E STREET
as Father Matt, brother to Rev Bob.
FREMANTLE - JEFF FARMER - BONEY.
Jeff capitalises on his new found popularity and stars in this short
detective series. Episode 1 - Who stole the Draft Picks?
GEELONG - GARY ABLETT JUNIOR - HEY DAD
Yes............... well..............
HAWTHORN - SHANE CRAWFORD - CHANCES
Shane's cheek gets him a long way.
KANGAROOS - DAVID KING - NEIGHBOURS
Cameo role when he runs a mobile Kebab caravan, parked at the entrance to
Ramsey Street. Role finishes when beat up by drunken footballers.
MELBOURNE - DAVID SCHWARTZ - MOTHER AND SON
David is magnificent as the serious son who keeps his Mother in the dark.
PORT ADELAIDE - DARRYL WAKELIN - SONS AND DAUGHTERS
Returns home to search for long lost twin.
RICHMOND - MATTHEW RICHARDSON - FRONTLINE
Cameo as reporter who has problems working with other staff.
ST KILDA - PETER EVERITT - COP SHOP
Plays the role of sleazy detective named PP. Sells time share apartments in
Fiji whilst on duty.
SYDNEY - MATTHEW NICKS - HOME AND AWAY
To apiese the Sydney Gay market, plays Alfs secret gay lover.
WESTERN BULLDOGS - TONY LIBERATORE - NO 96
As the new owner of the delicatessen appropriately named Libba's.
WEST COAST EAGLES- BEN COUSINS- THE SECRET LIFE OF US.
Plays the role of a depressed footballer who just can't seem to win in
Melbourne.
AFL - WAYNE JACKSON - SKIPPY THE BUSH KANGAROO
A cameo role as a villain called John Elliott. Steals Skippy and threatens
to sell her to the pet food factory. Fortunately Sonny uncovers plot and
Skippy ties up Wayne's character with ropes until the police come.
Thanks for last weeks mention.
Basil Czerwaniw
Date: Sat Jul 13, 2002 01:35:13 PM Australia/Melbourne
Date: Sun Jul 14, 2002 02:30:47 PM Australia/Melbourne
This is our first entry in your competition even though we are avid listeners of your show. We have come to the conclusion that there are two things we must do to get our entry on the radio.
The first is to complain that we have not won the competiton before so please accept that as our mandatory gripe.
The second is to totally ignore that this weeks competition is to name one player from each team in a TV show. Accordingly we have used movies,musicals, advertisements and lotto drws as well as full teams. We have also given more thatn one alternetive for certain teams. We trust this is satisfactory.
Date: Mon Jul 15, 2002 08:46:58 AM Australia/Melbourne
Brisbane - Michael Voss - A football match played in Melbourne broadcast live to viewers outside Melbourne.
Collingwood - Nathan Buckley - A broadcast of a match meaningless to more than 90% of the footballing public on Pay TV only.
Carlton - A broadcast of a match meaningless to more than 90% of the footballing public on Pay TV only.
Essendon - James Hird - A broadcast of a match meaningless to more than 90% of the footballing public on Pay TV only.
Freo -Peter Bell - A football match broadcast live on free to air against West Coast (or any, non-Collingwood team)
Geelong - Gary Ablett - A football match broadcast live on free to air from interstate
Kangaroos - David King - A football match broadcast live on free to air from interstatev
Hawthorn - Shane Crawford - A football match broadcast live on free to air from interstate
Melbourne - David Neitz - A football match broadcast live on free to air from interstate
Port Adelaide - Warren Tredrea - A football match broadcast live on free to airagainst Adelaide (or any, non-Collingwood team)
Richmond - Brad Ottens - A broadcast of a match meaningless to more than 90% of the footballing public on Pay TV only
St Kilda - Peter Everitt - A football match broadcast live on free to air from interstate
Sydney - Barry Hall - A football match played in Melbourne broadcast live to viewers outside Melbourne
West Coast - Ben Cousins - A football match broadcast live on free to air against Freo (or any, non-Collingwood team)
Western Bulldogs - Luke Darcy - A football match broadcast live on free to air from interstate
Date: Mon Jul 15, 2002 12:24:49 PM Australia/Melbourne
Date: Mon Jul 15, 2002 03:41:39 PM Australia/Melbourne
Date: Mon Jul 15, 2002 11:37:08 PM Australia/Melbourne
Date: Tue Jul 16, 2002 10:15:00 AM Australia/Melbourne
Smart could be cast as the evil unknown twin brother of Lex Luther who was
also caught in the corn field when the meteor shower hit the town of
Smallville.
Smart has been in Adelaideville where he has been operating his evil father
Lionel "the pesticide king" Luther's Fertilizer Plant at Adelaideville.
Smart returns from Adelaideville to confront his unsuspecting brother Lex
and take control of the failing smallville plant under directions from his
father. The Bald Brothers have a fence off to the death as there can only be
one Luther sibling.
Yarra Valley Old Boys
From: mh@seafordps.vic.edu.au
2.Brisbane Michael Voss Bud Ricks Flipper
3.Collingwood Josh Fraser Eb Dawson Green Acres
4.Adelaide Kane Johnson Maynard G Krebs Dobie Gillis
5.Melbourne Travis Johstone Hodgo The Restless Years
6.Geelong Aaron Lord Granville Open all hours
7.WCE Ash McIntosh Jack Harper On the buses
8.Essendon James Hird John WGB Steed The Avengers
9.Hawthorn Nathan Thompson Jim Bowie The Adventures of JB
10.Nth Melb Micky Martin Joe Rockhead The Flintstones
11.Bulldogs Tony Liberatore Louis LeBeau Hogans heroes
12.Fremantle Peter Bell Craw Get Smart
13.Sydney Mick O'Loughlin Kaseem Jungle Jim
14.Richmond Wayne campbell Captain PeacockAre you being servedv
15.St.Kilda Spider Everit Frank Spencer Some mothers do havem
16.Carlton Brent Ratten Vanderbilt F Troop
Regards,
Hassa from Beaumaris
Date: Wed Jul 17, 2002 04:32:43 AM Australia/Melbourne
Date: Wed Jul 17, 2002 11:53:10 AM Australia/Melbourne
BRISBANE: Richard Hadley - World Series Cricket
CARLTON: Kouta - RPH - his injuries would keep them going all year
Matthew Lappin - Pot of Gold - hopeless when acting
for a free
COLLINGWOOD: Nathan Buckley - ER - plenty of blood to splash around
Carl Steinfort/Shane O'Bree (with beards)
- Catweazel
ESSENDON: Matthew Lloyd - The Brady Bunch - he's even daggier than them
Paul Salmon - The Golden Girls
BULLDOGS: Wade Skipper - Gilligan's Island
GEELONG: Gary Ablett jnr - Steptoe and Son
Ronnie Burns - Countdown
HAWTHORN: Adrian Cox - Kojak
MELBOURNE: Clint Bizzell - Bewitched (he was under Fiona Horne's spell)
NORTH: Mick Martyn - The Osbournes - he'd scare them
PORT: Gavin Wangeneen - Homicide - because he gets away with murder
ST KILDA: Peter Everitt - Kath & Kim - he'd fit right in
RICHMOND: Matthew Richardson - Australia's funniest home videos - say no
more
WEST COAST: Chad Morrison, Chad Fletcher, Ashley Sampi, Kane Munro,
Kasey Green, Zachary Beeck, Quinten Lynch - The Bold and the Beautiful
FREO: Dale Kickett - The Leyland Brothers - he's seen more of Australia
than them
SYDNEY: Tony Lockett - The Brady Brides - It's never as good the second
time around
Paul Kelly - Countdown of course!
Cheryl Critchley
Date: Wed Jul 17, 2002 11:28:23 AM Australia/Melbourne
Joe Kirby
Date: Wed Jul 17, 2002 01:38:38 PM Australia/Melbourne
Wayne Carey - Secret life of Us, Changing Rooms, McLeod's Daughters
Peter Everitt - Malcolm in the Middle
Ray Hall - Everyone Loves Raymond
Lance Whitnall - Blue Heelers
Date: Wed Jul 17, 2002 04:38:47 PM Australia/Melbourne
I think I know why Richo receives such a vitriolic response when he judges
the comp. At least with Simon, we're ready for the injustice. With Richo we
hold out the faint hope for somethibng fairer and more equitable.
Date: Wed Jul 17, 2002 11:17:41 PM Australia/Melbourne
Dave Phillips
Just a note on the players t.v. shows past and present special mention for Essendon, they get a movie because there is no place like home:
Brisbane: Voss Jag
Carlton: Bradley Dad's Army
Collingwood: BuckleyEd
Essendon: Rioli The wizard of Oz
Freemantle: Croad Home & Away
Geelong: Ablett Fresh Prince of Bel Air
Hawthorn: CrawfordNeighbors
Kangaroos:Carey Sex in the city
Melbourne: NeitzHogans Heros
Port Adelaide:Wanganeen Secret life of us
Richmond: RichardsonF Troop
St Kilda:The whole side All Saints
Sydney: Hall Raw is War wwf
Westcoast Eagles: Cousinsperfect match
Western Bulldogs: BrownThe Bill
Date: Thu Jul 18, 2002 09:19:32 AM Australia/Melbourne
Hope you had a nice time last weekend, dont worry the Comp was bias, inconsistent and poorly judged, just like you never left.
Date: Thu Jul 18, 2002 02:50:39 PM Australia/Melbourne
Date: Thu Jul 18, 2002 04:14:19 PM Australia/Melbourne
E: " Where at?
N: "Collingwood" ($1000)
E: " where's that?'
N: Can I 50/50? answer: Melbourne ($100,000)
E: Have you ever lost your temper?
N: Only when provoked ($500,000)
E: Now for one million dollars can you answer the following question: "What
is the Salary Cap"?
B. A Nuisance
C. An accounting Challenge
D. All of the above
- M*A*R*S*H - The crows Ben Marsh joins Hawkeye, Trapper and the gang.
- The Oprah Whitnal Show
- Stein-feld
- Barrys Practice
- The Kingsley Hunter
- Judge Judd-y
Date: Thu Jul 18, 2002 07:01:16 PM Australia/Melbourne
The Young & The Restless Matthew Pavlich
Spin City Jason Akermanis
Rage Dale Kickett
Home Improvement Robert Walls
Media Watch Spider Everitt and
David Schwartz
Business Sunday Trent Croad
Changing Rooms The Ferrett
Hi 5 Gary Ablett Jnr
ER Cameron Ling
This Is Your Life (as subject, not host) Dennis
Commetti
The Logies (as subject and host) Dennis
Commetti
Christmas Eve At The Bowl (as whatever he wants) Dennis Commetti
The Brownlow Medal Count (host) Dennis Commetti
Channel 9 News Sport (let him read the whole lot) Dennis
Commetti
vThe Melbourne Cup Coverage (host, caller) Dennis Commetti
60 Minutes (in Commetti, out Carlton) Dennis Commetti
Question Time Dennis Commetti (as
the newly elected member for Bennelong)
6.30 A Current Affair with Wayne Carey
Rod Buttress asks Frasier and Nyles to co-direct the end of season Players Revenue, but Fraiser has a falling out with Nyles over which show they should perform HMS Pinafore or Il Travotore. Martin says they should settle things by tossing a coin.
6.30 A Current Affair with Wayne Carey
6.30 A Current Affair with Wayne Carey
6.30 A Current Affair with Wayne Carey
When young Joe fails to get elected as club president, his parents bulldoze the synagogue in the back yard and build a television studio, so he can try his luck as a chat show host. Tonight's guests David Schwartz Mum discusses cooking Kosher meals on match days, and David Schwartz talks about eating Kosher meals on match days.
6.30 The Affair's Over - can the media leave me alone with Wayne Carey (Final)
Garry Scott
Chadstone
Date: Thu Jul 18, 2002 11:28:39 PM Australia/Melbourne
After the judging schemozzle of last week,it is obvious that I have to tailor my entry according to whoever is judging this week's competition.
B: The Weatherman National News Anchor Finance reporter
HB: Talk Show host Current Affairs Host Movie Show host
C: The late night Evangelist THE NETWORK STAR(C) Game show host
HF: Former Network star Tonight Show host Pop guru
(Bobs up occasionally
with something special)
F: Aerobics host THE SOAPIE STAR The Vet
Ruck:The 'Lanky Yank'
Rover:Travel reporter
R/R(run with role):Consumer Affairs reporter
I/C:Warehoused stars poached from other networks (rarely get a run)
Date: Fri Jul 19, 2002 12:38:06 PM Australia/Melbourne
Date: Fri Jul 19, 2002 01:17:33 PM Australia/Melbourne
Date: Fri Jul 19, 2002 01:48:29 PM Australia/Melbourne
Date: Fri Jul 19, 2002 03:59:26 PM Australia/Melbourne
Date: Fri Jul 19, 2002 04:11:45 PM Australia/Melbourne
Date: Fri Jul 19, 2002 08:57:23 PM Australia/Melbourne