The Coodabeen Champions Competition
Round Fourteen:
Devise an AFL Skins tournament
Date: Mon, 01 Jul 2002 12:31:54 +1000
Simon,
I want to thank you for making me a cult figure at the Calder
Cannons where I work as a Statistician, even if I don't win I am having 15
mins of fame!!!
I think the AFL Skins could be "Win back your entire Salary Cap"
Divide Colonial into several sections for each group to go round and make
each section worth 1.5mill.
1st Section: The Marilyn Monroe
This is to decide the fastest hair dyer in the game! Contestants would be
Lance Whitnall, Peter Everitt and Jason Akermanis!
Section 2: The Umpire Whinge
Objective is to whinge non-stop for 5 mins without taking a breath, to an
umpire using the forehead to forehead technique and extra dollars could be
earned for making the umpire crack under pressure. Contenders for this would
be: Scott Camporeale, Nathan Buckley and Jason Akermanis!!
Section 3: The Media
To write a piece of no more than 2000 words without including your own
opinion, innuendo's and untruths...just the facts. Winners already are:
Dermott Brereton and Jason Akermanis!!!
Section 4: The "I didn't do it"
Put a case forward to umpire in the best overacting style you can over being
penalised. Starring: Robert Muir, Crackers Keenan and Jason Akermanis!!!!
Section 5: The Coaches Conference
This section wins money if the coach can withstand a 15 min grilling by the
media. Consisting of Spud Frawley talking about Tigers Achilles Heel (the
team!) and Leigh Matthews defending ....yes you guessed it Jason
Akermanis!!!!!
Date: Mon, 01 Jul 2002 14:44:51 +1000
Taking a literal interpretation of an AFL 'Skins' game we could establish
the 'Calandar Cup'. This could replace the Wizard Cup and prove to be a
light-hearted start to the season. Also good for trialling potential
reduction in the number of players and/or the size of the ground.
It would be a twelve-a-side competition played between the
Men-of-all-seasons Calendar guys versus the Moe-Girls Calandar girls.
In this special twelve-a-side format the monthly pictorialists would line up
against each other. The positions would be ruck-rover, rover, and left and
right back-pockets, half-backs, wingers, half-forwards and forward-pockets.
There would be no spine, thereby emulating most of the AFL clubs going
around now anyway.
The AFL should be equally supportive of this twelve a side format in order
to test its impact on the reduction in 'flooding' tactics (note reference to
Moe-Girl in bath).
With the reduction in playing numbers, matches could be played on a smaller
field and tour the country. The AFL would get some hard figures on
potential reductions in the costs of team travel, and particularly,
accommodation (in the two-per-room format -rooms allocated as per the above
playing conditions).
To show that the AFL is as relevant to the country cousins, as it is in the
metropolitan areas, and as a fitting tribute to the country clubs, Saturday
and Sundays matches could alternate between football and netball matches, as
most clubs in the sticks have a combined setup.
The results, WHO CARES, the winner will be football and/or "AFL endorsed"
Calendar sales.
Michael Fry
Date: Mon, 01 Jul 2002 20:44:09 +1000
Ian Collins speaking about the Brownlow night and I quote, "We think it will
have a different slant to it and we think we'll be able to deliver something
which will be exciting for everybody that's going and also for the viewers at
home." end quote.
Have you heard the rumour that the AFL and Channel 10 might be discussing the
return of It's a knock out aka THE AFL SKINS at this years Brownlow Medal
Night?
The show could again be hosted by Billy J. Smith and Fiona MacDonald and
assisted by Kerrie-Anne Kennerly, and of course Tim Webster, who would walk
from table to table, selecting two players and their partners from each club,
to play off in such games as:
INTERCHANGE: Female team member answers phone message from coach, runs through
obstacle course involving hay bails, ramps, a paddle over the medium-sized pool
in a rubber dinghy and a climb up a rope to get message to the player. Player
goes back over obstacle course to return to bench.
FLOODING: All contestants wearing skin-tight frog costumes (in team colours
with large heads and flippers) run down a ramp and across about five small
pontoons over the small pool, and up another ramp. The team with the most
crossings in the time available wins the event.
A SOLID DEFENCE: Two players attempt to build a Roman 'temple', using several
parts of pillars and two roof pieces, while two ladies from the opposing team
catapulted silver balls at the temple in an attempt to destroy the temple. The
team with the most temple pieces in position at the end of the time available
won.
DRINK BOTTLE DERBY: Female team member rides on a cart that is hauled by two
players dressed as a horse. The cart has hugely differing wheel sizes, giving
the rider (and her large drink bottles) a very rough ride. First to complete
two laps wins. But watch out for obstructions from opposition teams on the
180-degree turns!
And of course not forgetting the crowd favourite, (yes, of course the public
will be filling the stands).
THE SQUIRREL GRIP: Half-dressed as squirrels, team members scramble across a
horizontal greased pole over the large pool, with two coconuts in each hand.
Team members deposit their nuts in a basket at the end of the pole. A
blindfolded opposition team member flings a heavy suspended punching bag at the
competitors while they try to cross the pole. The team with the most nuts in
the basket at the end of the available time wins.
And remember a team's "Joker" can only be used once during the night on any
event chosen by the team to double the points won.
Regards Paul Martin.
Date: Tue, 02 Jul 2002 00:31:23 +0000
Dear Simon,
As a Tiger fan there's an ulterior motive, but first prize for my tournament
would be a trade to sunny Fremantle in exchange for four Freo first-year
players.
*** Tournament stage 1 ***
200 AFL players take turns trying to kick a behind from the goalsquare.
If they kick it through the goals they're eliminated (although Danny Frawley
soon consoles them by taking full blame)
When there^"s only four players left they go to stage 2.
*** Tournament stage 2 ***
The four walk into the changerooms where Matty Lappin's hooning around with
pork chops taped to his feet as shoes.
The player who incurs the most injuries from slipping on the pork fat wins.
Ulterior motive: trading Matty Richardson for four younger players is the
only hope left for the Tiges.
cheers Simon
Stuart McArthur
Date: Tue, 02 Jul 2002 14:51:44 +1000
Following the 'Mad Monday' for each club as it finishes the season, they
conduct an internal skins competition based on the number of cans that can
be drunk by a player on that day. Each club winner then meets on the
afternoon of the Brownlow Medal to play off for the Perovic Medal to see who
is the best AFL 'can shooter' for the year!
It would allow the players to maintain some sort of training regime after
the season closes as well as satisfy their competitive spirit.
Mick Cowan
Date: Tue, 02 Jul 2002 20:52:04 +1000
Football Skins is not a new idea, it is already rife in the AFL
unbeknownst to the average supporter. This underground competition may
explain a few things that happen every season - week-in , week-out:
Points are awarded week to week in the following categories, with the
winning team being the one with the most points over the duration of a
season:
1. Cliche's - 10 points each
10 Points are awarded for each cliche' spoken in after-match interviews
by the coaches and players. 20 Bonus points are awarded for the
following lines:
- "...we're just taking it 1 week at a time", and
- any sentence with the word "process" in it
- any injury described as a "back-related hamstring"
- "(insert coaches name here) has the full support of the board"
- any mention of "martians", "seagulls", or "aliens" in post-match press
conference
2. Scoreboard Folly - 50 pts
50 points awarded to any team who has a pre-match and half-time
scoreboard footy show. 50 bonus points will be awarded to teams who
employ a washed-up, ex-TV game show host to be the front-man for said
footy show. 50 Bonus points are also awarded for "roar meters", and
other such folly like getting the crowd to collectively bark after your
team scores a goal.
3. Off-field Incidents - various points awarded
Points are awarded for the following '5th quarter' incidents:
- Player or coach getting drunk in the social club - 10pts
- " " " " in a pub - 15 pts
- " " " " " & getting
ejected - 20pts
- " " " " " & starting a
pub brawl - 25pts
- " " " " "
" " " with the team you played earlier that day or in
the previous round - 150pts
- Getting drunk which leads to public nudity, or unlawful activity -
175pts
- " " " " player or coach being
locked-up for the night - 200pts
- " " " " " "
" " ejected from an aircraft - 250 pts
4. Spelling - 20 pts
20 points are awarded to the team whose supporters display signs in the
outer with incorrect spelling. 100 Bonus points are awarded for spelling
errors if they appear on the pre-match cheer-squad banner.
Current 2002 Ladder Leaders (updated to Round 13)
1. Richmond - 417,575
2. Collingwood - 417,525
3. Carlton - 219,220
4. Adelaide - 114,895
5. Sydney - 114,210
6. Port Adelaide - 88,240
Cheers,
Shags (the entrant formerly known as Anthony Edmonds)
Date: Wed, 03 Jul 2002 15:44:11 +1000
I think a good end of season
display would be an AFLympics.
Where each club could enter
1 representative in each of
the olympic track and field
events. The clubs could then
compete in a skins format
to have draft picks allocated
instead of offering the wooden
spooners a prize for coming
last, such as Carltons plan
for 2002.
There could even be a grand
prize with the best scoring
club being permitted to
draft Wayne Carey without
effect to their salary cap.
In the event the Kangaroos
were to win the may be given
extra draft selections instead.
If it were Brisbane they may
prefer a few more home games
or even an AFL assisted
effort to recruit a Wallaby.
Or were it St Kilda maybe
some assistance in obtaining
a real coach!
Thanks,
Date: Wed, 03 Jul 2002 18:36:38 +1000
Hi Simon - from Faction 3366
This event encompasses all that a 'Skins" event must have: It must:
Be Completely Meaningless, Contain Outrageous Prizemoney and Be at a totally
Inhospitable Venue ( think Greg Norman in those shorts and anklet socks
sweltering in December at Port Douglas.
The AFL, Action Jackson promotions in association with Tony's Tongue Promotions
present "Global Goalkicking Skins" live from Cocacabana Beach In Brazil. From
various distances some of Australia' s most unpredictable goal kickers (as
chosen by Tony Leonard in his Tongue segment a few weeks back) will go head to
head for 22 weeks on The Golden Sands of Rio's most famous beach
e.g See Andrew Dunkley match it with Matty Richardson from 15 Metres, or David
Bourke vs Stephen Kernahan from dead in front in a to the death shoot out .
Jimmy Stynes overseen by John Northey will play tthe permanent man on the mark.
Explaining the "concept" Action Jackson says he wanted to go to Soccer's
heartland to show them an "interesting game". You'll get 6 points for a goal
and 1 point for a behind, Action explained to an enthralled Brazilian Media.
Channel Nine have secured the rights to this extravaganza and are expected to
telecast the final with Eddie Maguire hosting. SBS will pick up the remaining
256 contests. Fear of the temporary points posts being washed away at high tide
were unfounded.
Paul Russo and John Clements (sending this entry from internet cafe)
Date: Wed, 03 Jul 2002 20:45:29 +1000
"Skins" games are short, packaged for TV and largely uncompetitive. Do
many AFL matches differ greatly from this definition?
However,
Certain publications (like the beefcake calenders) would appreciate an
implementation of the old schoolground and pre-season version of "skins"
games, the "shirts versus skins" pick up matches.
Another option the AFL seems keen on at the moment is the fashion skins.
Each club could be given points for the number of players who break the
code regarding length of jumper sleeves or socks. Why aren't they so
worried about the various fashion attrocities we are subjected to by
several "approved" club gurnseys?
In "Fashion Skins, the Weagles would get an automatic bonus every time
they wear their "old" jumper and all clubs who wear pre-season jumpers
would be penalised. The winners of the skin would be that club which is
prepared to turn down a huge financial incentive in return for wearing
something totally ridiculous, especially if it is colored orange, powder
blue or purple. (Can you believe Chris Connolly saying that purple is an
important part of the Dockers' brand?)
Greg (fashion victim from way back) and Sue Hoysted
Date: Thu, 04 Jul 2002 09:56:04 +1000
Some concepts I'd like to see for the half time entertainment:
For the athlete in the team-
The Norman Yemm Dandy Dollar Dash: A straight out 440 yard sprint from point
post to point post. There are however a few obstacles. To simulate The
Sullivans and Norm leading his troop through heavy fighting in The
Dandenongs, combatants would have to weave in between ferns, lyre birds and
other native fauna strategically placed around the boundary line. The
supporters would then play there part by pelting and assaulting the
combatants with Chocalatier chocolates.
For the ladies man in the team-
The Dominator: Wayne Johnson had quite a reputation with the ladies, with
his able assistant Jon Dorotich riding rough shot. Your challenge is to cut
a swathe through the chardonnay set of the corporate boxes during half time.
The idea is to get as many phone numbers from the fairer sex, who are blonde
now, but may not have been blonde in the 70's,80's or 90's.
For the more aggressive people in the team:
The Plugger: The entrant would start his lead from the goal square and head
straight for the centre square on a long searching lead. Along the way
cardboard cut outs out of Peter Caven would pop up and the combatant would
have to use either his left or right elbow to smash him in the face. Once
the combatant gets to the centre square, he then picks up a crutch and
throws it ten metres at a cardboard cut out of the biggest & fattest head in
the AFL.
Graham Campbell
Date: Thu, 04 Jul 2002 10:17:27 +1000
Dear Team,
No more cracks about the .edu in the email address !
Footy Skins - 1/2 time at the Grand Final
Each team (barring Grand Final contestants) provides 3 players.
There are 4 activities - each worth $25,000. In the event that an activity is
tied, the money jackpots to the next event.
1. Goal Kicking - Each team works the ball into a flooded 50. (Each of the
other team members fills a "Key Defensive Point". Instructions are to give
token pressure - but give em one if you get a chance !) The attacking team must
kick a goal and will earn extra pointsif they ignore team mates in better
positions or dribble the ball through from the boundary line. Maximum ppoints
will be gained if the attacking team completes the task with a kick that could
have been kicked by laying the ball across the boot , but CHOOSES to kick it
straight !
2. Mark Taking - One player kicks the ball forward, whilst the second teammate
uses the tackling bag and the third teammate to jump on, attempting to take the
biggest hanger they can. Points are added for athletic content and the degree
of pain, colour and length of the stop marks on the third teammates back.
3. Training Drill - The three players must take the ball from a kick-in to a
goal at the other end. Again, the other teams spread out to offer token
pressure (refer to activity one for further instructions). This is a timed
activity. The fastest team will gain the maximum points with points staggered
downwards according to their time. Extra points will be added if a commentator
is heard to say " ... it's becoming a training drill !"
4. Taking the Piss - The creative option for the teams. As each of the first
three activities is taking place, the members of the non-participating team
must creatively take the piss out of the team that is doing the activity.
Points will be awarded for flair, originality and the ability to crack a smile
from any member of any other team. Points will be deducted for racial,
religious or family vilification, althougg if it is really creative, we may
overlook this rule.
In the Event of a tie - the teams on equal points will do the Robert Walls
event. They will stand and beat the #$@#$ out of each other - last one standing
takes home the cash !
Thanks boys, keep up the good work.
Date: Thu, 04 Jul 2002 12:55:12 +1000
Press Release
The AFL is set to bring Grand Final day alive with a Super Skins competition at
half time in the big game. After being innundated with calls to bring back the
half-time sprint the AFL is excited to unveil a new skins format that will see
stars from AFL clubs running in FOUR great sprinting events.
THE WAVERLEY
A world first! See players from all sixteen clubs dash for the cash in a
tribute to those brave souls who provided post game action aplenty at the old
VFL Park.
16 competitiors will line up in the front row of the MCG seating, equidistant
from the centre circle. When the first siren goes they will do nothing (A
ground announcer will tell them to wait for the second siren and those who
break will be fined by the AFL). When the second siren goes they will vault the
fence and rush headlong towards the centre of the MCG. It will be no place for
the feint-hearted as all competitors sprint towards the centre AND each other.
The first to the centre claims the skin by punching the air triumphantly.
THE ASSOCIATION HANDICAP
They'll also be racing the old VFA way, an 800 yard handicap aroung the 'G'.
The race will be held between 17 competitors, handicapped by former bookie and
pro-sprint mayven Gavin Marantelli. The field will be made up of a player from
each of the AFL clubs and front-marker Norman Yemm. As tradition dictates, Yemm
will lead until fifty yards from home before ultimately finishing last.
PIGGYBACK SPRINT
The AFL is reprising an old favourite from the Footy Olympics days of the early
70's. The Piggyback Sprint over 100 yards.
Remember Stevie Hoffman riding Vic Aanenson hands and heels or Paul Callery
getting stuck into Big Carl. Forward to today and can anyone stop the Houlihan
boys from filling the trifecta in the big race?
UMP'S CHOICE
Who reverses best after incurring a fifty metre penalty? The argument is going
to be settled on Grand Final day with Ump's Choice,.
This event combines points for speed and style as players are forced to reverse
jog 50 metres whilst accompanied by an umpire. See the stars plead their case
in a backwards trot as they aim for style points. Watch for the never contrite
David Schwarz or see if Peter Everitt can chuck a 'complete wobbly' and go for
his much loved 50..., AND ANOTHER 50.
Mark Fine
Date: Thu, 04 Jul 2002 18:42:30 +1000
Welcome to the 2002 AFL club skins competition showcasing our game's great
skills by some our past and present greats.
$5000 is to be awarded to the club represented by the player who wins a
particular skin.If a draw occurs the skins will jackpot to the next event.
The Banner Run Through skins began with Richmond's Bartlett executing a trip
with a triple twist and pike, Hawthorn's Tuck rebounding back off and
Melbournes
(Des Healy ?)charging on and promptly knocking himself out on the uprights. But
for sheer creativity Hawthorn's Brereton took the $5000 skins for running
through the opposition's mascot and banner and taking out half of their cheer
squad in the process.
The Umpire Abuse skins (using an AFL sanctioned umpires blow up doll) was a
close contest with some wonderful tongue lashings, finger pointing, pushes,
shoves and headbuts thrown in from the likes of Carmen, Williams, Harvey
(North)
and Johnston (Lions) but the winner was Collingwood's Burke who after
destroying
a perfectly good umpire promptly waded into the Southern stand and took on the
crowd collecting a total of 100 years of suspensions and a $5000 fine!
The Goal of the Day skins was clearly won by Collingwood's Daicos who while
standing in the members bar enjoying a beer back kicked the ball through the
slightly ajar door around a few corners, down the steps ricocheting off several
seats, the fence and doing three u turns before rolling through. Daicos's
claims
that fellow competitor Riccardi's kick was touched proved inconclusive.
The Tough Tackle skins (ex AFL umpires and administrators were used as guinea
pigs) featured the likes of Shwartz(Melb), Ditterich (Saints), Dyer (Richmond)
and Mathews(Hawthorn) but it was tiny Tony Liberatore who collected the skins
for a brilliant tackling exhibition featuring the 'Hopoate' hold that won hands
down or in this case hands up.
The Mark of the Day skins (The ball was to be kicked up in the air from 40
metres and the winner would be the player who marked the ball.) Players of the
calibre of Jesaulenko, Ablett, Moorcroft, Hart, Knights and Brereton all flew
high but the ball sailed over the pack into the waiting arms of St Kilda's
representative Stewie Trott, giving the crowd ample opportunity to scream that
well known catchphrase in unison 'TROOOOOOOOTTTT you Beauty !!!!!!!!!'
The 100 Metre Dash skins was the final event where it was decided that because
the normal sprint doen't give you value for money older prototypes were to be
used . The likes of Tony Lockett, Kevin Cowboy Neale, Rene Kink and John
Nicholls took off from the start like a hippo on heat. Half way down the run it
looked a fore gone conclusion that Plugger would take the spoils but with a
'whoosh' down the outside big Mick 'Galloping Gasometer 'Nolan in a time of
8mins 43 seconds stormed home to win after spotting a pie seller near the
finish
line.
>From Bachy (otherwise known as Wayne Bach)
Date: Thu, 04 Jul 2002 23:47:38 +1000
Rules for all skins competition all clubs can have a maximum of 2 past or
present players representing their team
Game 1: Shirt-front Derby.
Runs along the same rules as demolition derbies last man standing wins
however they have to use legitimate shirt-fronts.......Dermie!!!!
Game 2: 100 meter sprint
Bring back the 1/2 time 100 meter sprints!!!!!
Game 3: Longest Torpedo
Speaks for itself
Game 4: Fastest wistle and pencil
The umps have to feel wanted!!!
Game 5: Next years coach
To be played as soon as the final siren sounds for the Grandfinal
all clubs exept for the victorous grand final team place their
coaches and any wanna be coaches into the centre of the ground
and the clubs hold a draft on who will coach their team for the
following season.
Brett Turner
Date: Fri, 05 Jul 2002 00:48:45 +1000 (EST)
Has anybody noted the correlation between football and
pinball? Both mighty fine sports! In the 70's they
were both a stop start kind of game.
We can remember JOKER POKER and TED NUGENT. We can
remember 6 games on a saturday. We can remember late
saturday afternoons after the footy at FLASHBACKS,
10/4, INVADERS (the arden st. of pinny joints) in the
city .
We noticed the game changed in the late eighties.
Eagles Bears, friday nights sunday arvos.We also
noticed MULTIBALL.That advance in pinball technology
that allowed 2 or more balls to be played at the same
time.Remember SHAQ ATTACK and THE ADDAMS FAMILY.
The time has come for MULTIBALL FOOTY!
2 scenarios could work quite well.
1. Scrap the wizard ansett escort sterling cup with a
MULTIBALL lightning premiership. 2 balls alive at all
times played under normal rules.
2. MULTIBALL introduced at the start of the time on
period oof each quarter for the home & away season
Imagine the excitement of a game where the defence is
trying to clear from the backline as well as repelling
the oppositions next wave of attack.Imagine the panic
of defenders do i man up? do i tackle the player with
ball1 or try to spoil ball2? Goalscoring would
increase.
dave phillips
Date: Fri, 05 Jul 2002 09:47:45 +1000
One area of our game which I enjoy but doesn't get a mention on the stats sheet
is the sight of a player crashing and banging through a pack of players,
leaving a trail of carnage behind . The victims should be opposition players
but if any of his team mates get in the way.....LOOKOUT . I think this talent
would be perfect for the Skins format so I propose
"THE AFL BOOM CRASH OPERA SKINS COMPETITION"
We have one player from each side
Adelaide: Mark Riccuto
Brisbane: Brad Scott
Carlton : Brett Rattan
Collingwood: Jarrod Malloy
Essendon: Jason Johnson
Freemantle: Clive Waterhouse
Geelong : Cameron Mooney
Hawthorn: John Barker
Kangaroos: Glenn Archer
Melbourne: David Schwartz (a fitting finale)
Port Adelaide: Damien Hardwick
Richmond: Matthew Rogers
St Kilda: Nathan Burke
Sydney: Barry Hall
West Coast:Troy (Mr) Wilson
Western Bulldogs: Tony Liberatore
An area 30m by 30m is roped off and ten upright Matty Lappin dolls with
detachable arms, legs and head are evenly placed around this space. Each
contestant has 15 seconds to cause as much damage to the dolls as possible but
they much make contact with every one. Points will be awarded
for the number of arms, legs and heads that are knocked to the ground.
Contestants will also be awarded points for flair and style from a panel of
esteemed judges Bruce McAvaney, Mike Sheahan Caroline Wilson and Patrick Smith.
The player with the highest combined total wins
I think this is a worth replacement to the half time Grand Final sprint.
cheers
David Bean
Date: Fri, 05 Jul 2002 12:25:52 +1000
Instead of playing four quarters of football, teams only play one 1/4, in a
knock out series. Should give Carlton a chance to notch up a win.
Glenn From Balmain.
Date: Fri, 05 Jul 2002 13:51:42 +1000
It was very pleasing to hear my entry mentioned on radio for the first time
and the added thrill of being runner up. Almost like the feeling I^"ve had
being a Carlton supporter at the Geelong and West Coast games. Missed it by
that much!! It has inspired me to try my hand this week.
A.F.L. SKINS COMPETITION
Setting: Skinner Reserve ^÷ Braybrook (with portable goal posts if
necessary). It^"s time for the Western Suburbs to have some real
entertainment.
REDSKINS
Two pie boys place their wares randomly along a straight path from the goal
square to the centre circle. At the starters whistle the boys eat and drink
their way from the centre to the goal square demolishing Coca Cola buddies,
pies and chocolate bars and new sponsors product Redskins along the way. The
first to complete this arduous task is declared the winner.
THIN SKINS
Matthew Lappin lines up against Kevin Bartlett to see who can win the Thin
Skins award. Starting at the centre circle the players have to perform in
any order an act for a free kick; a bounce; a handball (yes, Kevin will find
this discipline very difficult) and finish with a goal from a seemingly
impossible angle where the fifty-metre mark meets the boundary line.
THICK SKINS
Brian ^"Whale^' Roberts versus Mick ^"The Galloping Gasometer^' Nolan. Starting
from the centre the combatants are to skol a number of alcoholic drinks on
the way to the boundary line. No spillages allowed. Once reaching the
boundary line a complete circuit of the oval will be required and the
fastest will be declared the winner. (In the likely event neither can manage
the complete run, the one who gets the furthest will be the winner.)
POTATO SKINS
Danny ^"Spud^' Frawley against Robert ^"Scratcher^' Neal. Combatants must
first tackle a hessian bag full of potatoes and rip a hole in it. They can
then choose to in any order to peel a potato; kick a potato through for a
goal from twenty metres out and shape a potato into a stamp and complete an
A4 page with potato prints (this would be a hit with the kiddies!). The
winner is not necessarily the fastest to complete the tasks. Creativity will
also play a part.
Wendy Dow
Date: Fri, 05 Jul 2002 13:48:29 +1000
We could have Commetti Skins for each game Dennis calls. Each player gets
to choose from a list of Commettisms, without knowledge of their
competitors' choice, and at the end of the quarter, the player whose
Commettism gets the most usage wins. If more than one player chooses the
Commettism that wins, the SKin is Halved and it carries over to the next
quarter.
Choose from classics such as;
* Nothing doing
* With space now
* On the breeze
* Wanted it most
* Loose men everywhere
* Been busy
* Illdirected
* That was interesting
* Still he goes
* Rucks go at it
(These are a fine selection from my current database of 81 Commettisms).
Oliver Kysela
Date: Fri, 05 Jul 2002 14:36:22 +1000
Take one water logged TW Sherrin, grab a bunch of players and take them to a
muddy suburban oval on a cold and wet July's day.
Once there and the lads are in their footy garb, (one from each club),
assign a designated kicker- Stuart Dew will do nicely.
All players must take their jumper off and stand 10 feet from the designated
kicker. Remember, it's cold, wet and the ball is like concrete and the
hapless player is starkers from the shorts up.
The kicker will drill the water logged aghat at the poor sod who must either
try and mark it or stop it. He who stops or mark the most will take home
the Ballatines, Patra, Four 'n' Twenty and some Dencorub.
I don't know about you, but the welts one can receive from a fast moving
waterlogged TW (or was it a lyrebird?) on a cold and wet day still makes on
wince.
There you have it, a nice, family friendly skins competition for all to
enjoy!
Regards
Tim Goddard
Date: Fri, 05 Jul 2002 04:57:41 +0000
Coach and Captain Cliche' Skins
Here's how it works
At the end of every game both coaches and captains of the competing teams
are asked a series of questions by the media. There answers are compared and
if either coach or captain includes more clichÈ's than there opposition
counterpart they will $1000 for there club. There are a couple of bonus
rounds were 5000 dollars will be on offer Round 20,21,22 & the prelim final
because these weeks are particularly cliched and getting an extra cliche in
there will be extremely tough.
Here's an example: Melbourne have just beaten the hawks in round one by 3
points.
Media:L You have a really tough month coming up, 4 of last years finalists
how do you think you'll go?
Neitz: We are just happy to get away with the win, We are taking it one week
at a time, keeping a lid on things (3 Cliches)
Crawford: We are very disappointed not to come away with the win, We are
taking it one week at a time (2 Cliches)
(3 Cliches Melb V 2 Cliches Hawks)
Melbourne Nets $1000 Dollars for the dees
Media: It seemed like a very physical game out there today
Danaher: Yep both sides came out hard today, it was always going to be a
tough game and they took it right up to us today.
(3 Cliches)
Schwabby: Yep Both sides came out hard today, it was always going to be a
tough game and they took it right up to us today they just wanted the footy
more than us today (4 Cliches $1000 to the hawks)
Date: Fri, 05 Jul 2002 15:26:35 +1000
To keep the interest going thrrough the season (when your team is no longer
mathematically possible) and so fans can go away from the game saying "at least
we won the skins".
The President's Bake - already happening but now for much needed club funds.
Coach's Cliches - how many can be included in an aftermatch press conference?
Commentators Chocalate Bombs - can they pick out the back of a head in the
crowd and gain their attention?
Umpires' Bounce (the Harvey) - with all the spare rubber knobs we can measure
the oomph, height & accuracy.
Medico Mayhem - club doctors try to trump the opposition with the most gruesome
tale of woe.
50m Fake (the Lappin) - re-enact the best acting performance of the week /
year.
Sharpshooter (the Daics) - just like the Nike ad with MJ & Larry Bird, shots at
goal with increased show off and difficulty. Off the sign, hit the peanut man,
bounce 4 times & through...
NFL Trial (the Graham) - superboots step up to the mark.
Fun for all the fans.
Darrell Nash
Date: Fri, 05 Jul 2002 17:57:51 +1000
For the Skins Tournament, the following events could take place at half time
during the Grand Final in an attempt to match the extravaganza that Rugby
League put on each year. These events focus on "old fashioned family values" to
bring entertainment back to the football.
- Kevin Bartlett could run a handball competition.
- Rod "Tilt" Carter could run a goal kicking competition.
- For the lateral thinkers, Merv Keane could run a seminar entitled "How to get
Brownlow Medal votes".
- A woodchopping competition, with each team represented. The player from
Tasmania is bound to win.
If all else fails, then have Angry Anderson drive into the arena in the
"Batmobile" 16 times. Each time he enters the arena, an AFL team has a game of
"stacks on" to see how many players (preferably large) can squeeze into the
vehicle while Angry blurts out a somewhat muffled version of "Bound for Glory".
Hopefully this will erase memories of the woeful "Waverley incident " a number
of years ago as well as providing the punting public with a mouth watering
betting feast to see how many Mick Nolan types you can fit into a "Batmobile".
Cheers
Date: Fri, 05 Jul 2002 18:00:33 +1000
In the middle of colonial stadium for the first round you get three
players from each side where they appear on It's Academic.
The winner goes through to the next round where one player from opposing
sides challenge each other at Burgo's Catch Phrase.
That rounds winner then goes through to the semi finals for a good fun
game of Family Feud. Only Brothers and Father/Sons can represent their
club at this segment .
Finally if you get through this stage, you go onto the Grand Final with
the Grand Final of all game shows, Wheel of Fortune. Representing
Brisbane in the Grand Final is Alastair Lynch who has $985 in the bank.
Playing for Port is Warren Tredrea on has no money in the bank but has
$900 in the final round has just spun up $200. The Puzzle is as follows
Football Saying
THE _REM_ERSH__'S _ __KE -W_LK
Warren says "Can I have a P for Port please Rob"
"There are two P's" says Rob.
THE PREM_ERSH_P'S _ __KE -W_LK
Warren now in front and just needing to bank the money to win decides to
solve the puzzle. "THE PREMIERSHIP'S A LAKE-WALK"
"No" says Rob. Alastair Lynch says "THE PREMIERSHIP'S A CAKE-WALK" to
correctly solve the puzzle and win Brisbane the footy skins.
Adam Ellerton
Date: Fri, 05 Jul 2002 19:30:42 +1000
There are number of factors that must be contained in any "Skins"
competition.
1. Mega rich people play for lots of money that isn't theirs in the
first place and the prize money is so small compared to their earnings that
the prize money doesn't really matter.
2. The event is played at a manufactured resort venue
3. The event is a media event
4. Participants are "miked" up for added interest
5. Nicknames must be used by the competitors and commentators
6. Participants are encouraged to do things they usually wouldn't do
7. The event takes advantage of the facets of the game that excites the
crowd
8. Participants must wear the shortest socks possible with incredibly
long shorts
With this in mind I present the AFL Skins.
As they will be the AFL skins representatives from each state will be
participating. Matthew Lloyd (Vic), Andrew McLeod (SA), Ben Cousins (WA),
Matthew Richardson (Tas), James Hird (NSW), Michael Voss (Qld), and Nathan
Buckley (NT). It just happens to be a coincidence that all participants
have committments to the Footy Show (The cross promotion opportunities and
build up to the event are endless) and that Channel Nine will be covering
the event which of course will be hosted by Eddie McGuire. In the best
traditions of "Almost Anything Goes" Billy Brownless will provide the comic
relief to Eddie with on ground interviews and "wacky" descriptions of the
game. The venue will be Port Douglas as Carrara was unavailable.
Events will include the following
The Torp, where players must let go with a torpedo from distances well
beyond the 50, the crowd will lift as one as the anticipation builds around
the player latching onto one, or kicking a "mongrel" that slews of the boot
and only goes 30 metres
The Do, having been inspired by the TV pulling power of the world cup, this
skin will go to the player with the most ridiculous haircut.
The Grab, where players will attempt to take the big hanger, once again the
crowd's anticipation is milked to see whether the player will take the mark
or be "up before acceptances". For this event each participant will bring a
designated "Jerka". This is in honour of "Jerka" Jenkins who provided the
ultimate platform for Jezza in 1970. Previous designated Jerkas have been
Kelvin Moore and Gary Lyon who provided the platform for so many marks of
the year.
The Run, where players must bring the ball from the backline and kick a goal
as if they were playing a game and the switch of play had worked and the
loose man was on. To add to the crowds excitement the run of play must be
completed within a time limit and the change of possesions have to occur
within a designated part of the ground, like the baton change in Olympic
relays. As a target must be hit under pressure in this event, Richmond
players can not be used as it would spoil the whole concept and the ball
wouldn't get past the centre.
The Delay, wher players will hang onto the ball in a recreation of kicking
out after a behind is scored. The longer a player can hang onto the ball
before the crowd intimidates the umpire into calling on him to kick it, the
more money is won.
The Bronx, given to the "dud" player that finally wins a skin after not
forcing any previous skins to jackpot in previous events.
At the end of the day all the skins will probably go to Buckley as there
must be a result and I am sure that the host will provide, in the best
traditions of professional wrestling, an outside influence or a foreign
object for the Buckley win.
Peter Treseder
From: Cheryl Harvey
From: Fry Michael
From: Paul Martin
From: stuart mcarthur
From: "Cowan, Michael"
From: shag@alphalink.com.au
From: steven watson
Steven Watson
From: Sally Hamshaw
From: Greg & Sue Hoysted
From: "Campbell, Graham D"
Greensborough
From: Grant Fitzgerald
Grant Fitzgerald
From: Mark
From: "Bach, Melanie J"
From: Fiona & Brett Turner
From: "[iso-8859-1] David Phillips"
How many goals would plugger have scored under this
system?
How good would Stephen Milne be?
Think about it Simon
From: David
From: Glenn Rogers
From: The Dow Family
From: KyselaO
From: Tim Goddard
From: Travis Bull
From: Darrell Nash
From: Mark Tracy
Mark Tracy
From: Adam Ellerton
From: "Treseder, Peter"