The Coodabeen Champions Competition
Round Eleven:
Every Season up we go..
With Queen's Birthday weekend comes the opening of the ski season
The Coodabeens always acknowledge this milestone with a ritual observance
Select a side that would be well suited for the slopes, the chalet, and of course, apres-ski
From: Greg & Sue Hoysted
Dear Simon,
BACKLINE (The George Mallory Line. Players lost at high altitude.)
Gary Moorcroft Trevor Barker Ansett Airlines
HALF BACK LINE (The Sonny Bono Line. Players seriously injured on the
slopes.)
Philip Read Max Hudgton Jason Cripps
CENTRE LINE (Jean Claude Kili Line. Fast movers with silky skills.)
Robert Flower Simon Black Scott Camporeale
HALF FORWARD LINE (The Alberto "La Bamba" Tomba Line. High profile and
highly successful players with something of a reputation to keep up.)
Shane Crawford Dermott Brereton Wayne Johnston
FORWARD LINE (The Eddie "The Eagle" Edwards Line. Cult figures because
of ocular fashion statements.)
Tony Southcombe Geoff Blethyn Dilip Doshi
FOLLOWING DIVISION (The Prince Charles Division. Often photographed on
the slopes and sharing a very recognisible characteristic.)
James Hird Brett Heady The AFL Premiership Cup
INTERCHANGE BENCH (Well known "downhill skiers".)
Justin Murphy Rohan Smith Stuart Maxfield Blake Carracella
Greg, Sue and (I have been nagged to include her) Elizabeth Hoysted.
From: Sharon
Dear Simon
MCG
HB: Brian Ryan (Ballarat Supporters Group) Tough, uncompromising
Les Hamel ( Mt Gambier Supporters Group)
Gary Jones (Cobram/Barooga Supporters Group) in the Buddha Hocking mould
C: David McCreery (SA Supporters Group) Receiver in the Greg Anderson mould
Robert Flower (Chairman-Members Forum)
Debbie Litchfield (Shepparton Supporters Group)
HF: Ivan from Ivanhoe (Long time Vocal Supporter)
Tony Kostos (Coterie Rep-Members Forum)
Joan Lawson (Western Supporters Group)
F: Little Girl whose Daddy is a Doctor (Youth policy at work)
Ken May (Cheer squad rep-Members Forum)
Kirsteen Farrence (Captains Club rep-Members forum) can jump like Alisa Camplin
R: Noel Waters (Legends Club rep-members forum)
Gabriel Szondy (President) always in the thick of the action
Ian George (Gold pass rep- members forum)
Inter: Sue Reyment (country members rep- members forum)
Don McLardy (Melbourne Executive Club rep-members forum)
Sally Traverna (NSW Supporters Group)
Debbie Wilder (Qld Supporters group)
An executive meeting decreed that no women were to grace the MCG, as they were required to be the Snowbunnies on the slopes. Nicholson was replaced by DalPozzo due to his surname sounding decidedly more appropriate for the snow.
Simon; this is not my debut in the competition. (rules state that first time entrants cannot win!)
Big John from Leopold
From: stuart mcarthur
Dear Simon,
a dream team of past and present players for the perfect Buller weekend
**BACKS***
**HALF-BACKS***
**CENTRE***
**HALF-FORWARDS**
**FORWARDS**
regards,
Stuart McArthur
From: Mark
After more than 15 years of enjoying your show I'm finally entering the comp for the first time. It's not that I haven't wanted to enter before it's just that I've never had a pen in the car to write down the address!
Alpine Football Club - Key Players
'Air' Sinclair - 'Check out that spunk on the snowboard'. That's right it's Jess Sinclairandwasn't heborn to freestyle with that surfie blonde hair? I know he'll get airborne on the freestyle course, just look at how he delivers a bump on the footy field.
Zachary Beeck - Haven't hear of the West Coast supp list player? Don't worry, he's got the 'Zed' factor. Ziggy Steggall knew it would work for Zali and Zeke and I'm equally confident it will work for young Zack.
Brendon Lade - You know the type. He broke his leg early in the season but he's stillhanging around the ski lodge. Middle aged guy wearing a cream knitted sweater, plastered leg up on a low stool (poof - the stool, not him) with aglass of gluhwein in his hand, hitting on the snow bunnies. Brendon Lade you are that man.
Daniel Bradshaw - Before joining the Lions, Daniel was at Mt Gravatt which I assume is a Queensland snow resort.
9 Saints - Gehrig, Loewe, Reiwoldt, Wulf, Koschitzke, Plapp, Knobel undt der zwei Schwarzes.
Robert Forster-Knight - I know he's actually from Barooga but he's got the hyphen, a pre-requisiteforgetting a deck seat at Koffler's.
Alistair Nicholson - Grumpy local 'bushie'. He's lived in Mansfield all his life and makes his living towing city 'dickheads' when their cars get bogged half way up the mountain.
All the best,
From: Cheryl Harvey
Dear Simon,
Years ago there was Hassa Mann and Tassie Johnson, strange sounding football names interspersed between the Fred's, Bob's and Norm's, but in this day and age of 'apres ski', chalets and a good gluwein we have given way to the Melbourne Football Club's wish list of snow bunnies; with names that befit the Range Rovers with snow chains, the roaring log fires and the up market bib and brace club apparel. Come draft time, by virtue of parents who bestowed on their children, names that would see them fit in at any ski lodge from Vale to Thredbo. I am sure this would be Melbourne's dream if they could get it......
Cheryl Harvey
From: D Long
DEAR SIMON,
Back Line: Cox, Funck-ey and Powell
Simon, Ross and Stephen
(get it: Simon Cox, Ross Funcke and Stephen Powell? Good!)
Restart:
Back Line: Cox, Funck-ey and Powell
Simon, Ross and Stephen
Half Backs: Malthouse, Blakey, Bell
Deep and Crisp and Even
Centre Line: three Blue Boy duds
Carlton jokes and cru-el
And half forwards: Stone, Ball, Judd
All from private scho-oo-els
Forward Pocket: Crawford who
Can attract the bunnies
Spearhead: Wilson and then Dew
Both built like brick dunnies
Interchange: Moorcroft and Loewe
Neitz and Croad the Champion
They could fly high at the snow
Like Alisa Ca-am-plin
Doug Long
From: Darrell Nash
This week at Mt Buller sees the AFL's Winter Olympics team hit the slopes.
PS. Simon - this is a winner: off brief, includes Matty Lappin & the winner hasn't been pre determined.
Darrell Nash
Date: Wed, 12 Jun 2002 01:54:57 +1000
Dear Simon,
I have noticed that many entries starting with Dear Simon get read out on air so hopefully this gets me over the line. I would also like to state that the views of my entry in no way reflect the views of the Williamstown and Western Jets Football Clubs.
In selecting my team I bore in mind that different types of people play in different positions on the field. Therefore those who would enjoy the the chalet and not even venture out too far (for various reasons)would be in the forward line and those who are a little bit different would be in the backline. Those out in the cold skiing would be in the midfield.
BACKLINE (SNOW BOARDERS)
B:Peter Everitt Danny SouthernDanny G (with a rap artist name like that he must snow board)
HB:Wayne WeidemanGlen Manton Mark Zanotti
MID-FIELD (SKIERS)
C:Jeff ReinsClint BizzellNick "Snowy" Riewoldt
HALF-FORWARD-LINE (IN THE CHALET)
HF:James HirdDavid SchwarzLee Walker
FULL-FORWARD-LINE (IN THE CHALET FOR DIFFERENT REASONS)
F: Matthew Lappin Brendan Fevola Paul Van der Haar
INTERCHANGE (APRZØS-SKI - They're there but only for the glamour with no clear idea of what's going on)
INT: Allan Bond, Christopher Skase, Dr Eddleston, Tony Lockett
COACH (APRES-SKI)
Complete with umbrella to avoid the snow: Murray Weideman.
Rob McMahon
Date: Wed, 12 Jun 2002 15:30:35 +1000
Dear Coodabeens,
I haven't the time to select a side so I nominate Hawthorn - Proud,
Passionate &......gone skiing.
I also select the umpire as Glenn James because his name is Snowy.
Paul Stevens
Date: Wed, 12 Jun 2002 16:08:30 +1000
Subject: Mt Hotham Allstars
I have chosen my team on the basis of some guys go alright in all facets, those
who prefer the chalet for a drink and those who provide the entertainment.
Backline - Jimmy Buckley, Johnny Hay, Glenn Manton
H-backs - Martin Pike, Trevor Barker, Aaron James
Centres - Darren Millane, Shane Crawford, Michael Roberts
H-forw - Dennis Banks, Wayne Carey, Paul Van der Haar
Forwards - Jacko, Warwick Capper, Gary Lyon
Rucks - Sam Newman, Mike Richardson, Michael Roberts
Interchange from : Royce Vardy, Matty Lappin
Nathan Thompson, Dermott Brereton
Coach - Graham Cornes (one of the prettiest ever)
Mascot - Collingwood Magpie (likes a drink apparently)
the left flank - is the defensive side of the ground - all the hard work is
done, the boys don their best pair of faberge jeans, blundstones and flanno
shirt and head to the bar early to impress the girls - the drink gets them
everytime. No one messes with this part of the ground.
the goal to goal line - one of the prettiest ever. On its day these guys can
dominate, so after lounging quietly after a morning on the slopes, Crawf, Trev
and Wozza, are off for an evening of suave relaxation in front of the Chalet's
fireplaces, sipping a red or cognac in their RM Williams pants, turtle neck
skivy and for Wozza his lovely CK g-string. Very rarely on their day do these
guys struggle.
the right flank - the offensive side of the ground - these boys are in for a
bit of everything. Whether it's Glenn Manton and puppetry of the penis, AJ
putting out fires, Robbo looking resplendant in the bar, Van der enjoying a pot
in the karaoke bar singing Khe San or Garry getting up on the stage in full
Cher costume - these guys have got it all. The fun loving side - unfortunately
for the rest of the team, there fortunes fluctuate.
The Rucks - how can you go past Sammy, the consumate professional ably assisted
by the Collingwood, Essendon and Brisbane duo. The engine room of the party.
The interchange - all four fall into the utility position. Insurance against an
underperforming player in any of the lines.
The ride to and from Mt.Hotham by bus with singalongs engineered by your
drivers Pants and Banksy.....
Kristian McCausland
Date: Wed, 12 Jun 2002 05:46:01 -0400 (EDT) Dear Simon,
I realised the reason that the AFL have scheduled the Melbourne Collingwood
blockbuster for Queens birthday. It gives the Demon supporters returning from
the snow fields somthing to listen to on the way back.We counted 12 cars with
Demon stickers on the way back from Hotham on Monday.
The Team: to be eligible for selection, the player had to demonstrate either
good ability in the snow, ability to mix a Midori cocktail or own their own
skis. Forward line players needed to demonstrate all three.
>From the backline:
Genghis Khan Hannibal Alexander the Great
Half backs: Sherpa Tensing pushes hard to provide support, a little weak
with apres ski
John Gould class centrehalf back, has own skis,
Herman Maier, nickname "The terminator" a natural for the
half back line
Centre line Jean Claude Killy, Alberto Tomba, Ingemar Stenmark.
Pure class, . Enough said.
Half forwards The Man from Snowy River. wonderfully mobile above the snow
line,
James Bond . Great skills on either side of the body,
deceptive, never caught with the ball. Sublime ability with all cocktails.
Definitely has own skis.
Simon Beasley . All football snow teams need this sort
of player, esp for stockbroking skills.
Full forwards Steven Bradbury the ultimate opportunist. Prefers firmer
going.
Alicia Camplin aerial skills second to none,
definitely has own skis.
Lady Sarah Ferguson also opportunist player, can
read play well. Can borrow skis, and will be helpful in marketing department.
Ruck The Abominable snowman. Was thought a little slow, so went
very low in the draft at number 86. Has wonderful aerobic capacity , helped
by altitude training. Doesn't need skis.
Bruno Grollo. Knows the ski business inside out and
has every trick in the book. Has own ski field.
David Clarke, unique in the team as actually plays
football and can ski
Interchange
Jamaican Bobsled team. All familiar with snow, Can all
play in a variety of positions and conditions. A little one paced. All more
than handy at Karaoke, for those longer apres sessions.
Regards,
Pat Lockie
Date: Wed, 12 Jun 2002 12:26:58 +0000
Dear Simon,
From the backline - McPhearson, Moore and Lee (that's Elle, Demi and Sophie)
Halfbacks - Gibney, Lockler, and Bassinger (that's Rebecca, Heather and Kim)
Center - Klum, Hilland Berry (that's Heidi, Faith and Halle)
Half forward - Alley, Pfeiffer, Lui (that's Kristi, Michelle and Lucy)
Forwards - The Charmed Ones ( that's Shannen, Holly Marie, and Alyssa)
Ruck - Ciccone, Jackson, Georgieva (that's Madonna, Lauren and Tatiana)
Followers (and we can only hope they would follow) Schiffer, Foster and Zeta-Jones
(that's Claudia, Jodie and Cathrine)
Now that's what I call a line up, with real depth.With a team like that on the slopeseven I could be conviced to take up skiing.
Regards
P.S. Simon, I'm sure thatthe remark you made last week about me not having won yetwas for the benefitof that bloke in the Eastern Suburbs (David something or other) however I must inform you that I have reviewed the tape and have been forced to submit it to my QC as you may have unwittingly DEFAMED me. There may be no other way to settle this than ala Crackers and Sam at the Ramsgate. I'm sure you will be hearing from either my QC, or my Agent.
From: David Phillips
full back:NEITZ
We all secretly know Buckley's german.He looks like
one.
He has that military discipline.The skills and
engineering that german manufacturing prides itself
on.
He plays for the enemy.He plays for a losing side
which has blind fanatical supporters.
interchange:SNELL, SCHNEIDER, SCHAUBLE, SCHWARZE
(say that 4 times)
coach:DITTERICH
Dave Phillips
Date: Thu, 13 Jun 2002 09:39:43 +1000
Hi Simon
The team I have selected for the snow competition is very able but due to a
condition that they have all been inflicted with, they may need to be called
the "Chalet Side". See if you can pick the link
BACKS: Michael PRIOR
Stephen PAXMAN
Craig BIDDISCOMBE
HALF BACKS: Dean SOLOMAN
Anthony KOUTOUFIDES
Alistair NICHOLSON
CENTRES: Darren HULME
Paul KELLY
Marc DRAGICEVIC
HALF FORWARDS: Leigh COLBERT
Stewart LOEWE
Matthew RICHARDSON
FORWARDS: Winston ABRAHAM
Paul SALMON
Clive WATERHOUSE
RUCKS: Matthew PRIMUS
Nathan BURKE
Robert HARVEY
INTERCHANGE: Shaun REHN
David SPRIGGS
Duncan KELLAWAY
David SCHWARZ
COACH: Neale DANIHER
The common link is that they have all had the dreaded major knee injury. It
would very irresponsible for any of the team members to venture onto the slopes
for fear of aggravating the old injury. Instead they will just prop at the
bar for the entire weekend. You could say that they need to get off the piste
and onto the @#&* (fill in if you wish).
Cheers
David Bean
Date: Thu, 13 Jun 2002 11:38:36 +1000
Simon I know you want a team, but I think this is a better idea;
2002 Alpine Draft
- to be hosted by Sandals Roberts
Selection One: (Mt Hotham F.C)
Selects Player No. 23855, Travis Johnstone of the Melbourne F.C
Kevin Sheahan whispers: yeah, the obvious choice for no.1, a cool dude who is what the ski resorts are all about these days. Hotham needed an in and under snowboader who could also add some flair to their side. A good selection.
Selection Two: (Perisher F.C)
Selects Player No. 88327, Cameron Bruce of the Melbourne F.C
KS whispers: mmm, interesting choice. A class act who will add some steel to what is a weak Perisher slalom area. Some concerns as to his 'bona fides' though.
Selection Three: (Falls Creek F.C)
Selects Player No. 23856, Andrew Leoncelli of the Melbourne F.C
KS whispers: yeah a tried and true performer who has seen it all before. Had a well documented fall out with Mt.Buller over the summer break over his lodgings, and is sure to add some polish to the Fall's downhill division.
Selection Four: (Mt Buller F.C)
Selects Player No. 76323, Steven Armstrong of the Melbourne F.C
KS whispers: well we thought this dapper little blonde would go earlier. Has shown all the moves on and off the slopes, and the word from the street is he is "the next big thing" as a DJat theClub Altitude bar at Buller. Could easily become a franchise player up there.
....and on it could go....
Damien Joyce, NORTH OLD BOYS
From: Fry Michael
Dear Coodabeens
Here are a number of teams that I think fit the criteria:
Team 1: St Kilda circa 60's
I gather a lot of the same boys are still doing the rounds.
Other mentions are:
Michael from Mentone
Michael Fry
From: Fry Michael
Dear Coodabeens
I have come to the conclusion that my husband's entry this week is crap. So
I have decided to enter myself.
In order to show the evenness inherent in the competition I've picked out
two players to represent each club. Where a current player has not been
deemed to be up to scratch in the 'Apres-ski' department, I've gone back to
recent history to fill in the gaps.
I've decided that the players chosen can/could all 'play a bit' and
basically could do justice in most positions on and off the field, so I have
resisted the temptation to put them in a fixed position. As we all know
from the tenor of this week's competition , the players all need to be
flexible and not give a rats about the details, either when they were on the
slopes, in the chalet or, more importantly, apres-skiing.
Adelaide: Modra & Jarman A
Michael from Mentone's wife
Joan Fry
From: Fry Michael
Dear Coodabeens
Sorry guys, mum's just being lazy. Dad tells her that this competition
requires commitment to the detail, but she just doesn't get it. Here is
mum's team from the backline:
Full Back Millane Champion Lewis
Michael from Mentone's Daughters
Alexandra and Nicole Fry
From: Cheryl Critchley
Hi fellas,
We all know that no-one really goes to the snow to ski. It's just one
big grog-fest full of people with more money than sense, so who better
to send up to tackle the slopes than the AFL's seasoned drinking/party
boys:
BACKS: Jim Jess, Jim Buckley, Jim Beam
Go Tigers,
Date: Thu, 13 Jun 2002 13:45:25 +0000
this is the only team
it has snow links
The 3 players who have played Afl named Frost
Also the 36 playes named White who have played Afl football.
This gives a list of 39
and would all be good in the snow
From: Tim Goddard
Dear Simon
Yeah, no, that's it. I tried pandering and playing mister nice guy, acting
all nice and relaxed to the media, but that's it. You can stick Mr nice guy
Frawley right up your coight - Russell or otherwise. I'm going nasty and
it's going to last until I'm sacked or the players finally accept some
responsibility for playing like a bunch of fairies.
Yeah, no. You don't reckon I'm sick to death coaching a bunch of overpaid
softies with no talent? I provided incentives to them, I even placed myself
on a stupid performance based contract thinking they would care about me.
They don't, and to tell you the truth, I don't give a rats toss bag about
them either. Last year was fine, we made the eight and played some
reasonable footy. I had reason to be confident. Guess what? I was wrong.
Four games we've won. Four! That's as bad as my Saints ever were. You
don't reckon all of those things said about the Tiges are true? Well, I can
assure you, a more half-witted, half-hearted bunch of selfish footballers
you could never find. Richo tears a heartlige ever-second week, Gasper goes
through the motions counting his dough, Knightsy is slow, old and divisive,
Ottens is home sick, Tivendale is kidding himself and the rest just shit me.
There, you've got the truth. I'm beyond caring. They can sack me, I don't
care. They delicate little petals will probably conspire against me as they
do at Richmond, but I just don't care.
So, Simon, if anyone more is deserving of a weekend in the snow than I,
bring 'em on. No trumped up or lame Jon
Anderson-like-guess-what-this-side's-got-in-common entry could come close to
my need to rid my self from the yellow and slack attitudes down at Punt Road
and have a little fun with few old friends from school, a few of the old
glÙhweins and a bevvy of snow bunnies up at Crackerjack.
Sincerely
Danny Frawley
PS The Bank Street Eight will hold firm under the deluge of criticisms from
all and sundry!
From: Peter and Julieanne Rhodes
Inevitable footy trip hijinx can be dangerous in
a cold harsh environment, remember the heat
vests.
Young Riewoldt and McGough will need close
monitoring during snowplay.
Fabian Francis will be a great role model, he's
well used to being left out in the cold.
Survival lunch to be prepared by the 'Fixter'
with assistance from Wooden, Primus and Hardwick.
Terry Wallace will clear ski runs and in charge
of first aid will be Leigh Matthews-A proven
saviour(Magpies&Lions) and he looks like a St.
Bernard.
Peter Rhodes
E-Mail: peter.osullivan@au.wilsonlog.com
Dear Coodabeens
Ski Team - From the backline
Backs:
Glenn "There's a party on at my place" Archer
Ben"The Blizzard" Graham
Damien "Halfpipe" Hardwick
Half Backs
Jason "Ski Jump" Johnson"
Darren "Super G" Gaspar
Max "Downhill" Hudghton
Centres
Peter "Three Fingers" Riccardi
Mark "Remember the Ramsgate" Ricciutio
Ben "Becausehelooks like Marty from Big Brother" Cousins
Half Forwards
Stephen "Moguls" Milne
David "Hello I'm Klaus the Austrian Ski Instructor" Neitz
Chris "Tequila Slammer" Tarrant
Forwards
Matthew "Peach Schnapps" Lappin
Troy "Snowplough" Wilson
Trent "Chick Magnet" Croad
Rucks
Matthew "Powderhound" Primus
Nathan "Bourke Street" Buckley
Shane "Anyone need a lift to the Chalet?" Crawford
Interchange
Kirsty "Toasted Marshmallows" Marshall
Steven "I'll never pay for another beer in life" Bradbury
Eddie the Eagle
Peter O'Sullivan
From: KyselaO
Si
Rather than selecting a team, I'm sending 2 4WDs up the snow, maximum of 6
passengers in each car:
4WD #1 (Sound like they should be at the snow)
Barnaby French
Jade Rawlings
Robert Forster-Knight
Rupert Betharas
Kingsley Hunter
Brenton Sanderson
(Devastating that Trent Ormond-Allen is no longer on the Crows' list).
4WD #2 (Just should be up at the snow: The Ski Instuctors and the
appropriate blood lines)
Carl Steinfort
David Schwartz
Nick Riewoldt
David Neitz
Tyson Stenglein
Jason Snell
Oliver Kysela
From: paul russo
Dear Simon - our team for the snow made up of current and past players :
B : SKEHAN (Phil, Swans 1917-19) DOWNES (Tommy, Carl,'27-33) HILLE(David)
FROM FACTION 3366(Paul Russo/John Clements)
From: Jane Harris
Dear Simon
B Downs White Hill
Jane Harris
From: "Treseder, Peter"
Simon,
When thinking of which team would be seen on the ski slopes, only one Club
springs to mind. Melbourne, but with stereotypes put to one side I think
the following team has merit to be on the slopes.
Backs
Wooden - How skis were described oh so long ago, if its not carbon fibre you
aren't serious
Chambers - The majority of skiers must leave their chambers (law) to get to
the slopes
Forster-Knight - A hyphenated name gives automatic selection
Half Backs
Sierakowski - With the word "ski" in the name automatic selection follows
Smart - To get to Bourke Street you must use Baldy
Wojcinski - Two "skis" are always needed when skiing
Centres
Bourke - As in Bourke Street the busiest ski run in Victoria, but not the
best
Mansfield - To get to Buller you must go through here
Schwass - The sound snow makes as you carve your way down the slopes
Half Forwards
Dew - No one wants dew overnight as it makes the slopes icy, so put him on
the flank
Lade - The ultimate objective for all things apres ski
Green - Green runs are for wimps, so it is natural he should be on the flank
Forwards
C Cornes - If you ski long enough you will get these
Morell - Automatic selection due to a fine Grammar Christian name, goes well
in a turtleneck
K Cornes - You have two feet so you will get two corns
On-Ballers
White - The colour of snow and the reason why people go up mountains
Black - Black runs are for those that have no fear and can handle do or die
situations
Rodan - From Fiji where the word for hello is ....Bulla
Interchange
Cockatoo-Collins - Hyphenated name gets him in, yet not usually found in
this location, best off the bench
Crawford -
Chick - A handy trio that shouldn't spoil their apres ski activity by
playing a full game
Harford -
Coach
Frawley - Even if there was no snow, Danny would turn this into a positive
thing for skiing
Peter Treseder
From: steven watson
In keeping with The Melbourne Skier (Song) I
made a team of -Simon, ross and Stephens. from
current day players.
B- Stephen Koops, Simon Prestigiacomo, Ross Funke
Thanks Guys,
Richard Hall
...next upwe haveformer Melbourne champs Garry Baker & Peter Giles: their Grizzly Adams beards and hair are sure to stand out in a crowded chalet. Decked out in turtleneck sweaters under suede jackets, with corduroy pants and hiking boots, the look is'dressed-up' but casual, stylish but practical. Whether gathered around the fondue pot, 'making the scene' with a couple of 'ski-bunnies,' sipping Cinzano, or just relaxing by the fire, Garry and Peter are all set to make this a Queen's Birthday Weekend to remember...
Richard Hall
From: andrew.walby@wh.org.au
Coach : Des Tuddenham (as he knows a thing or two about tyres, I'm sure he could get hold of some chains!)
Team (from)
Andrew Walby
Date: Fri, 14 Jun 2002 17:51:36 +1000
Simon, in keeping with the spirit of the first few weekends of the snow
season I propose that the following players would fit right in place at
any mountain in a variety of roles.
ROLE 1: Skiers - David Spriggs, Chris Tarrant, Nathan Brown,Crawford,
Dixon and basically the rest of the Hawks current forward line
Darren Brookes
Hopefully most footballers don't have time to get to the slopes in
winter, so I've gone for players who share characteristics with people
famous for their attachment to the snow.
In an unprecedented move, the Melbourne Football Club actually named two sides for the weekend, one for the MCG and one for the snow. The sides were fully interchangable.
Snowfields
B: Whelan Nicholson Brown
HB: Ward Ellis Broadbridge
C: OOZay Woewodin Johnstone
HF: Bizzell Schwarz Robertsonv
F: Vardy Neitz Bruce
R: White Poell J McDonald
Inter from: Jolly Williams Walsh Leoncelli Green Lamb Armstrong
B: John Welsh (Canberra Supporters Group)
Franco DalPozzo ( " " " )
Peter Birtles ( " " " )
Robert Flower was permitted to decide upon which surface he would like to play on.
Traverna and Wlider to reenact the NRL State of Origin around the open fire in the Mansfield Hotel Lounge.
MATTY LAPPIN
to wake everyone up for the 5am bus trip (since Matty's still up anyway)
JOSH FRASER
so you can stop for breakfast at Josh's mum's place in Mansfield
JAMES HIRD
to apologise to Josh's mum about Matty Lappin
KANE CORNESv
To offer unsolicited advice from the chairlift to unfortunate skiers below
SPIDER BURTON
to add to the pool of unfortunate skiers for Cornesy to advise
MICK MARTYN
to sit between you and Cornesy so the lift attendant only throws Cornesy off the mountain
MICHAEL ROBERTS (or is there a 2002 equivalent?)
to share a room with, because by the end of each night you'll have it to yourself
COREY MCKERNAN
as long as he brings his Brownlow dates
GREG TIVENDALE
Because apres ski at Kooroora, the less blokes who can KICK GOALS(!!!), the better your odds
SHANE CRAWFORD
to show you some cool dance moves to impress Corey's Brownlow dates
DENIS COMETTI
to advise if such moves are "less than convincing"
JOSH CARR
In case such moves lead to trouble in the carpark
BRENDON GALE (is there a 2002 equivalent?)
Shane's moves having failed, someone to drink gluhwein and discuss Shinto teachings with into the early hours around the log fire
GERARD HEALY
to advise as to whether Austrian or Swiss mogulling techniques are better suited for Australian terrain
JOHN ELLIOTT
so when you yell "Single?" to jump the lift queues, there'll be someone there to respond
Mark Fine
Date: Tue Jun 11, 2002 05:45:29 PM Australia/Sydney
Firstly the mandatory hyphenated names of:
Rob Forster-Knight or Trent Ormond-Allen
Then the trendy christian monikers of:
Jade (Rawlings) Rayden (Tallis) Ty (Zantuck) and Tyson (Steinglen) at home in any downhill event.
Those are the ones we are aware of but in the VSFL U18's we find a plethora of hopefuls for the 'apre ski' team with names that will roll off any silver tongue with aplomb!
Bo Nixon (Calder)
Cody Cross (Calder)
Mace Green (Calder)
Brant Jack (Rams)
Jai Pumphrey (Gip.Power)
Brock McLean (Calder)
Levi Kalms (Rebels)
And the ones that got away from last year.......Tristan Snow (Eastern)
Fabian Serratore (Calder), Preston Shaw-Dennis (Knights) also a Zannon, Chiton and a McKenzie-McHarg....and not a Bob, Fred or Norm amongst them.
With Champs currently doing the country music festivals of Europe and sure to be there until Oktoberfest, we need you to sing for us. So, here is your chance. And I know what your FAVOURITE song is: Snow Complications (tune = Good King Winceslas) by Barry Humphries.
So my song to the same tune is:
Downhill - Glen Archer straight ahead knocking over the gates (not just touching them)
Jumps - Brett 'Birdman' Burton on the fly
Moguls- JasonAkermanis dodge & weave with legs going like the road runner
Figure Skating - Matty Lappin who finishes with a dramatic fall to the ground, rolling over and holding his face.
Judges - Ken Judge & his assistant Peter German
Snowboard - Stephen Milne with his patented move of sliding to the ground & up before kicking off his ski to the crowd.
Official - Danny Frawley who starts the speed skaters with the phrase No - Yes
Ice Hockey Team - Jason &Mark provide the grunt; Kane & Chris provide the outside flair & Brad celebrates the goals. Off the bench Barry Hall, Micky Martyn,Byron Pickett & Mark Riccutto to provide the impact.
From: Williamstown and Western Jets Football Clubs
From: Paul Stevens
From: Kristian McCausland
From: LockiePatrick@aol.com
all have shown great mobility in the snow. None blessed with skill, but play
direct down the corridor.Strong in the tackle.
From: Bob Crain
SNOW, COLD, ICE - YUCK. Myidea of a goodsnow trip is kicking back infront of the fire place at the Hoffenbrau, knocking back a few gin and gasolines, and watching a team madeup of the following mill about the slopes.
On the Bench - Goldsmith, Lawless, Hunter and Robson (that's Tottie, Lucy (Zena Warrior Princess to you), Holly and Naomi.)
Bob the Yank
Date: Wed Jun 12, 2002 11:10:07 PM Australia/Sydney
centre half back:RIEWOLDT
centre:SCHWASS
centre half forward:LOEWE
full forward:SCHWARZ
followers ruck:MENSCH
ruck rover:STEINFORT
rover:NATHAN VON BUCKLEY
From: David
From: Damien Joyce
Team 2: St Kilda circa 70's
Team 3: St Kilda circa 80's
Team 4: St Kilda circa 90's
Matty Lappin, Brendon Fevola, Andrew Merrington, Royce Vardy, David Schwarz,
The Ramsgate 1's and the Ramsgate 2's sides and all the sufferers of a AC,
ACL, OP, CFS injury/disease.
Brisbane: Capper & Champion
Carlton: Jessa & No. 12 (I'm not falling for Stuart's line about %'s
of winning entries including this guys name. And by the way, how about you
guys getting back to traditional values and having a player who can't be
named.)
Collingwood: Banks & Millane
Essendon: Barnes & McVeigh
Fremantle: Farmer & Croad
Geelong: Spriggs & Ablett
Hawthorn: Crawford & Dermie
Kangaroos: Keka & Krakoeur J
Melbourne: Jako & Johnno
Port: Treadrea and Cornes C
Richmond: Daffy (Pre-Swans days) & Richo
St Kilda: Roberts M & Barker
Swans: Bayes & Lewis
WCE: Turley & Mainwaring
Western Bullies: Brown N & Hawkins
Half Back Bayes Croad Barker
Centre Hawkins Turley Mainwaring
Half Forward No. 12 Dermie Treadrea
Full Forward Jarman A Modra Farmer
Ruck Barnes Crawford Krakoeur J
Interchange Ablett Jezza Roberts M
Keka Daffy Richo
Emergencies Capper Jako Banks
Apprentices (ie. Drink Waiters) Spriggs McVeigh Cornes C
Brown N Johnstone T
HALF BACKS: Brian Roberts, Paul van der Haar, Sam Newman
CENTRES: Spider Everitt, Aussie Jones, Shannon Grant
HALF FORWARDS Michael Roberts, Trevor Barker, John Barnes
FORWARDS: Matthew Lappin, Brendon Fevola, Ryan Houlihan
FOLLOWERS: Nick Daffy, Brad Ottens, Royce Vardy.
Cheryl Critchley
From: john watson
(with Tim Goddard)
HB: TUCK (Michael) BENCE (Roy,St.K '25-33) NIETZ(David) Bend the Knees-get it
C : SIMON Garlick(Dogs) SIMON Prestigiacomo(Coll) SIMON Black(Bris)
HF : ROGER JAMES(Port) ROGER Dean (Rich) Matthew ROGERS (Rich)
F : PIKE FEVOLA MATTHEW LAPPIN -because they are always off piste
Rucks/rovers : ROBERT FORSTER-KNIGHT, RUPERT BETHERAS, HENRY PLAYFAIR
Competition entrants are often accused of having too much time on their
hands but it's not true. We do the comp instead of what we SHOULD be
doing and have horribly messy houses. This week I pored over the index
at the back of "100 Years of Australian Football". The following names,
that are vaguely related to the comp brief, are all contained in this
index if anyone has enough time on their hands to want to check:
HB Brilliant Freake Coward
C Raines Showers Gale
HF Coates Capes McKintosh
F Dare Slidebottom Shinners
Rucks Crisp, McAlpine
Rover Coffey
I/change Danny Minogue and Shane Loveless
PS Finding out that HOTHAM was a foundation club of the VFA in the 1800s
is better than having a clean bathroom.
HB-Simon Fletcher, Simon Beaumont, Simon Goodwin
C- Simon Black, Stephen Powell, Simon Cox
HF-Steven Lawrence, Steven McKee, Steven Kretiuk
F- Steven Milne, Steven Alessio, Simon Garlic
FOL- Steven King, Steven Baker, Steven Greene
INT- Simon Eastaugh, Simon Wiggins
Steven Armstrong, Steven Johnson.
COACH- Stephen Silvagni
Steven Watson
- Hentschel, Trent (Adel)
- Schell, Daniel (Adel)
- Stenglein, Tyson (Adel)
- Steinfort, Carl (Coll)
- Forster-Knight, Robert (Ess)...with a hyphenated name, he'd have to own a chalet
- Winter, Adam (Ess)...that's when it snows after all
- Mensch, David (Geel)
- Vandenberg, Richard (Haw)
- Neitz, David (Melb)
- Schwarz, David (Melb)
- Schwarze, Troy (SK)
- Schwarze, Benjamin (SK)
- Everitt, Peter (SK)...he'd twist his knee snow boarding and claim he did it stepping in a pothole whilst running inside to answer the telephone!
- Schwass, Wayne (Syd)
From: Darren Brookes
ROLE 2: The guy who goes down the slope on one ski - Nathan Buckley
ROLE 3: Snowboarders - Phil Carman, Carl Deitritch, Mal Brown
ROLE 4: The guys who go down the slopes in a tyre - Archer, Barry Hall,
Mick Martyn, Damian Hardwick
ROLE 5: The guys who can't be bothered skiing and sit in the pub all day
- Matthew Lappin and Brendan Fevola
ROLE 6: The Towies - Darren Goldspink, Mark McKenzie, Andrew Coates and
on and on
ROLE 7: The guy on the snowmobile - Craig Bradley
Windsor