The Coodabeen Champions Competition
Round Sixteen
This week's competition requires you to get with the 2001 mindset. Footy will NOT be on Channel 7. So, there'll need to be LOTS of framed, signed, limited edition, commemorative plaques and mementos to be tastefully brought to the attention of collectors: items to cherish, that will sit handsomely on the wall of your study or den. Your suggestions please....
Date: Sun, 15 Jul 2001 11:50:31 +1000
From: netteajs
In 2002 the football will be on Channels 9, 10 and Foxtel (for you rich
city dwellers with pay TV).
The first item of framed, signed memorabilia will not be a photo of
something spectacular that happened on the ground - first kick on Channel
9, first mark, first goal. It will be a photo of Eddie McGuire in the
commentary box calling the first goal.
It will be a Collingwood game and Eddie will sneak away from his
Presidential duties just so that he can be the for the great moment. The
goal will be kicked by Nathan Buckley and Eddie's excitement will be so
apparent that repairs to the desk in the commentary booth will have to be
made, at quarter time, after it was raised several inches from its
moorings.
The suggested price of $299 plus p&p may have to be revised for this
magnificent item as Eddie's cut of $250 per signature will drastically
eat into Channel 9's income.
There is also a rumour that Eddie will be loaned (hired for an enormous
fee) to Channel 10 and Foxtel so that he can call the first goal of the
2002 season broadcast on each of those stations so that more wonderful???
photos can be offered for sale (note: I didn't actually say sold).
Keep up the good work guys. I've just started listening to you on 3BA as
I've just moved to the Ballarat district. I've had Greg Champion's tapes
& CD's for years and it's good to hear the new songs while they are still
relevant, but it's good to hear the old ones, too.
Regards,
Annette from Scarsdale.
Date: Sun, 15 Jul 2001 15:29:48 +1000
From: Julian Toohey
thanks for the ridicule
most appreciative of the on air beratement of my finishing statement from
the last email, i didn't ask to be ridiculed for my INABILITY to forecast
a stkilda drubbing, one would think that the last 2-3 seasons would have
taught me that we are going to lose, but i haven't quite picked that up
just yet... i live in the mild hope that with all the millionaires on the
board at stkilda, we could possibly purchase a premiership cup or two.
all i ask for was to be read out on air and to win the advantage bonus
saver account and a choclatier chocolate footy, thats all, and bysaying
go saints at the end of the odd email i thought it might earn me a
chocolate footy, obviously not, maybe resorting to a more aggressive
approach might help, but thats history, stkilda lost, i have calmed down
straight into it.
channel 10, which also have the footy, would be flogging off authentic,
signed prints of their first up commentry team, sitting around a desk
looking over the mcg, surrounding stephen quartermain will be, gretel
killen, who will interview everyone and ian turpie who introduces the
games, in the same voice he used for supermarket sweep and continually
update us about with the score and other tripe.
channel 9 will offer a channel 9 family portrait, eddy seated on kerry
packers lap and ken sutcliffe and the rest of the commentry team standing
in an assortment of positions around the centrally located pakcer
foxtel, i don't know what they will have, we don't have it and it doesn't
bother me, they can offer all they like, they can have tim the demtel
bloke, but i will never know,
this email won't win, i will even admit it is trash, i can't think of
anything. and when i listen on sat just after 11am i will hear the winner
and curse because i wasn't clever enought to think of that.
GO SAINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ciao
julian Toohey
Date: Sun, 15 Jul 2001 17:42:09 +1000
From: Luke Gillies
Nine's Friday Night Football - with Eddie McGuire, Sam Newman
Round 7 Geelong v Hawthorn from Colonial Stadium 2nd Quarter
McGuire Commentating and the ball rolls out of bounds on the far side of
Colonial Stadium. Well this short break in play gives us a chance to
introduce this fine piece of work to celebrate the 27 possessions Nathan
Buckley collected in that marvellous performance against the Eagles last
week'.
(Camera moves slowly across the Buckley print from left to right)'
'It's entitled 'Bucks' and wouldn't that look great in your lounge room
bar
or board room'
(Meanwhile the boundary umpire waits patiently for the yellow light to flash
to let him know that the cameras are ready to catch the action as McGuire
continues to talk about the fabulous Buckley Print)
'And Sam, their seems to be a slight delay in play I'm not sure what's
causing it but it might just give us a chance to remind our viewers of last
weeks marvellous print entitled 'the one gamers club'
(Camera moves slowly across three images of unknown faces that appear to
have been cut out of a team photo)
'They've been selling fast Sam and wouldn't they look great in your lounge
room bar or board room'
(Light flashes from the Grand Stand and players return from huddle they've
formed in the middle of the oval, to try and keep their minds on the game)
'and it appears that play is ready to get back under way. King wins the
tap out to Spriggs'
Luke Gillies
Yarra Valley Old Boys
Date: Sun, 15 Jul 2001 19:14:16 +1000
From: Greg & Sue Hoysted
Dear Coodabeens,
Greg Hoysted
Date: Mon, 16 Jul 2001 09:52:41 +1000
From: Glenn
The first piece of memorabilia to be offered from the boys on Nine would
have to be 'The Invincible'. This magnificent presentation combines all that
we love about these momentos - it has a panoramic photograph, duplicated
original with signatures and a replica of the actual equipment used.
The photograph is a panoramic, 180 degree view of the Channel Nine boardroom
table depicting a reenactment of the actual signing of the AFL television
rights contract. This photograph clearly shows all the 'players' in action -
Eddie, Jamie, Jacko and the rest.
Supporting the photograph is a duplicate of the AFL television rights
contract, containing the actual photocopied signatures of all the major
'players'.
And to finish off this remarkable keepsake which encapsulates on of the
finest achievements in Australia's sporting history, there is a replica of
the Mont Blanc fountain pen as used by Eddie Maguire on The Footy Show.
This special presentation has a limited run 100,000,000 representing to
price paid by 'The Invincible'.
Call now as this historical piece of Australian folk law will only be
available for the next twenty years.
Regards,
Glenn from Newport
Date: Mon, 16 Jul 2001 15:04:13 +1000
From: Default User
The Coodabeens have surely been around long enough to qualify for 'curio'
or 'collectable' (antique?) status. I reckon the following Coodabeens
memorabilia, framed and signed by the panel members, would attract huge
interest if tastefully advertised on the telly:
* a tattered old ticket to see Taste and Supernaut at the Frankston
Mechanics Hall (plus a bonus black and white photo of the Taste lead
singer and his girlfriend outside the venue)
* a tie-dyed cheesecloth shirt with blackberry nip stains
* 'it's time' and 'keep the bastards honest' stickers
* an unclaimed quinella ticket from the famous Cox Plate starring
Bonecrusher and Our Waverly Star Cox Plate (paid 55 cents)
* Living in the Seventies LP
Let me know if you need any of these donated
regards
jane harris
Date: Mon, 16 Jul 2001 17:22:09 +1000
From: Kevin McAloon ext. 32
I have a suggestion for Channel Seven to recognise the past 45 years of
football.
'We have an unlimited amount of ''limited edition' signed and framed
photographs of one of the most memorable,' hair-raising' moments,not only in
football, but in world sport. See for yourself the expressions on the faces
of the opposing players as they exchanged words on what is one of the most
controversial moments in time. Re-live that incredible day, of what is now
history,
and be able to do so each day. For $49.99 (have Dipper do voice-over) you
can share in the memory that will certainly bring a tear to the eye. We have
'combed' through kilometres of tape to bring you this one clip. Be the envy
of friends, the talk of the street and generally the odd man out with this
unique piece of history. We can verify each unlimited print of this 'limited
edition', so don't be left 'scratching your head' when you miss out. This
will be a 'permanent' reminder of those good old days when sportsmanship was
alive
and well, on and off the ground. No, it doesn't feature the 'peroxide
blonde' Trevor Barker nor does it show Mil Hanna, with his head
glistening in the afternoon sun. You won't find 'Tiny Tim' Johnny Platten or
the 'pony-tailed' Tom Alvin streaming down the field with their locks
trailing behind them. This is more sedate picture of two greats caught in an
'off the ball' incident. Ring now and go into the
draw for the chance to win an extra print. What more can we say. To be able
to say to your family and friends that YOU have a framed photograph of Ray
Byrne giving Kevin Bartlett a toothless comb on the occasion of his great
milestone, just leaves us speechless.
The first ten callers will receive a free 'Tony Marini hairstyle'. Ring
NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!.'
Don't worry, if all stocks run out, we will soon be releasing two new
editions i,e,' Leigh Matthews and that Goalpost' or 'Percy' Jones and the
big wide Goalpost .
Regards
Kevin McAloon
Date: Mon, 16 Jul 2001 21:00:49 +1000
From: Wizzle *
Simon,
A CD will be released late this year with the classic lines of the channel
seven commentators.
It will contain gems such as:
Brucie: 'He looks good from here'
'Yesss, heess got it!'
'Ohh, that's ssspeccial'
Dennis: 'Sennermeeder perfect'
'Ambitious that'
'Bit a quick thinking in heavy traffic'
And in true tradition of 'Limited Edition' merchandise there will be a limit
of 100 at $299 each.
Matthew Crawford
Date: Mon, 16 Jul 2001 21:17:11 +1000
From: Eugene Van der Westhuizen
G'day Coodabeens,
Thinking about this competition, obviously Channel 9 will need to go for
a unique moment in football. By the way, who will be Ritchie for the
football?
Whoever it is will come on after a goal has been scored and say:
For all you memorabilia buffs out there we have this collectors item.
Limited edition, only 1000 copies individually numbered and
authenticated. This is a photo of the 'ACTUAL' contract between the AFL
and the 9, 10, Foxtel & Telstra consortium. This is a genuine copy of the
original contract and comes personally autographed by all the parties
involved such as Wayne Jackson, Jamie Packer, Eddie McGuire and more.
This magnificent picture will look great above your bar at a cost of
$500*.
In addition, the first 100 callers have an opportunity to purchase an
original FOX-GRAPHICS litho-gram, depictingthis momentous occasion for
only $290*.
Call 1900 FOOTBALL to get these wonderful items.
In small print on the screen (to qualify the *) will be
* unframed plus postage + handling $39.95
Eugene Van der Westhuizen
Date: Tue, 17 Jul 2001 09:20:39 +1000
From: Peter O'Sullivan
Hello Coodabeens,
Here are a few items of Channel 7 footy memorabilia
that once they have been signed and framed
might become collectors items in the future.
Sandy Roberts' Hair Piece
Peter Landy's Solarium
Mike Sheehan's Clipboard
Robert Dipierdomenico's Moustache
The Talking Footy Couch
and finally,
The tear shed by Bruce McAvaney
when Adelaide defeated St. Kilda
in the 1997 Grand Final.
Kind Regards
Peter O'Sullivan
Date: Tue, 17 Jul 2001 12:15:30 +1000
From: John Walker
Coodabeens
While at the MCG on Sunday watching the new coroporate arm of Fitzroy knock
off Collingwood, I was subjected to a running commentary of the game by a
Collingwood supporter from three rows back.
His constant supply of Collingwood drivel gave the inspiration to some
possible competiton topics.
Topic 1
'The ebb and flow of the game'.
Give the opposition view of the loosing teams performance throughout the
game. For example, my Collingwood mans commentary on the quarters went
like this:
Q1
'Well Brisbane kicked pretty straight with 7.1, we've just got to tighten
up in the backline a bit and use the ball a bit better. Bucks has got to
get into the game more'.
Q2
'Gee we've played well, we can put this mob back into their box and send
them packing. That's a top young backline, Lynch's too old and too
slow. Bucks is just a superstar. Malthouse uses the players so
well. That Hayden Kennedy was doing a good job of bouncing the ball, you
hardly noticed the umpires were out on the ground.
Q3
'Come on Collingwod don't you want to play finals. Get in front Presty,
bring on Richo, get a kick O'bree. Why is Bucks at centre-half back, what
is Malthouse doing? Don't those idiots in white know how to bounce a ball,
they can throw up it to give McKee a fair go.
Q4
'You are a disgrace Clement (or No. 8), I can run faster than
that. Doesn't Presty know he'd be better off punching from behind. Get
Richo off he's too slow. Why don't you kick it for them ump, can't you see
there's two sides out there. Why did they recruit O'bree? . Why didn't
Malthouse keep Buck's at centre-half back to give us more run off the
back-line.
It was a great day.
Topic 2
'Which supporters jump off their team the quickest and when'.
Again inspired by our drivel reporter. Some supporters jump off by game or
by quarter or at different times of the year, Collingwood was traditionally
June, although it may be now July. One of best jump offs was undoubtedly
the Fitzroy win over Adelaide with the Lions under Bernie Quinlan and
seeing all of the Crows supporters stream out of the stadium. It was
almost worth having the Lions down so badly to watch that win.
I suspect the jump off final would be between Collingwood and Richmond and
the knives in the back point would be in any game they give up the lead.
Regards
John Walker
Date: Tue, 17 Jul 2001 12:22:32 +1000
From: Tim Goddard
Simon,
You will be able to find all of the special panoramics, replica cartilage in
brine, jumpers signed to within an inch of their lives and framed player
profiles protruding from all orifices on the official Ch9/Foxtel/Ch 10 footy
website;
www.chewyonyerboot.com.au
I just can't wait for;
'The Seat that Gary Sidebottom Missed' (limited to 45)
Is Tony Greig's brother Keith doing the pre game pitch reports?
Date: Tue, 17 Jul 2001 13:22:27 +1000
From: Matt Laing
Hi Simon and Coodabeens,
I started this entry as usual trying to steal a cheap laugh or two by
making something up about or beloved AFL. But quite seriously this excerp
is how it just might happen every Friday night next year. I can just see
the producer askingSam and Edto do the Bill Lawry/Tony Grieg thing of
the 80's.
'Welcome back to Nine's Football coverage. I'm Eddie MacGuire. And while
we have this quick break in play due to the Bulldogs player being
stretchered off, it gives me a great chance to talk about the Black and
White Prints we have on offer.'
'Jeez, here we go' says Sam
'No Sam I said Black and White Prints because they are infact black and
white photos, not colour'
'So they're not pictures of Collingwood players then Ed?'
'Well yes they are Sam but that's not the point. There's Bucks, Burnsy,
Tarrant and Rocca all signed'
'Well then I better buy one myself' says Sam
'I'll tell you what viewers, I'll wack my autograph on them as
well...just for abonus'
'Good one Ed, now they might actually be worth something'
And it goes on and on until BUcks Tarrant, Burns or Rocca has a shot for
goal where a repetition of the previous conversation continues with
comments such as 'I bet that goal just added a Couple of hundred dollars
to the prints Ed' to which every person watching who isn't a Collingwood
supporter cringes andturns off.
Matty Laing
Yarra Valley Old Boys
Date: Tue, 17 Jul 2001 15:07:39 +1000
From: David
Dear Simon
Here is my entry. Please read (if I'm selected) in your best Richie
Beneau
voice.
'Channel Nine in association with the Australian Football League is proud
to
present the
STUFFED UP UMPIRES DECISIONS COLLECTION
aseries of four photos highlighting some of the more well known STUFFED
UP umpiring decisions that have occurred over the years during our great
game.
Photo One. The push in the backNOTPAID to Essendon's Alan
Noonan late in the last quarter of the 1968 Grand
Final.The Bombers went down by three points but Noonan would surely
have put them in front.
Photo Two.North Melbourne player Kerry Goode's mark and subsequent
goal inthe 1977 night Grand Final. This happened well
after the
final siren sounded thus denying Collingwood of the
victory
Photo Three. The knock back of the ball from outside the boundary line by
Carltons Wayne Harmes in the 1979 Grand Final. The
resultant
goal again robbing Collingwood of premiership glory
and
Photo Four. The disallowed mark by then Geelong player Leigh Colbert
in the final at Football Park in 1997. Geelong's
finalscampaign came to an end while Adelaide wentonto
win
their first flag.
All photos are framed and individually signed by the umpire who STUFFED
UP. Marvellous really.
Toobtain your photo please call
1800STUFFED UP
thats 1800 788333387
thank you
David Bean
Date: Tue, 17 Jul 2001 04:42:00 -0000
From: Travis Bull
During Qtr time in the 2002 round 12 Clash Brisbane V's St Kilda at the
Gabba this was seen on the TV:
You at home have the opportunity to purchase one of the finest pieces of
sporting memorabilia I have ever been involved in.
Channel 9 are offering a magnificent opportunity to sports fans. On the
screen at the moment you can see this beautiful panoramic shot.
It captures one of the great catches you will ever see taken by Jason
Akermanis. Taken during the recent Charity limited overs match at Belreive
between the Brisbane Lions XI and the Big Brother evictees. In which the
Evictees under the menacing bowling of Blair and Gordon eventually won.
Entitled 'It's time to go ... Sarah Maree' it shows Sarah Maree's dismissal
and that great athleticism shown by Jason Akermanis to dive to his left to
pull in a beauty off the bowling of Leg Spinner White.
This print is signed by White, Sarah Maree and of course Jason Akermanis.
Remember these prints are limited to 500 and at only $250 each they would
look fantastic in perhaps a study, office or sports bar or maybe even a
garage
Travis Bull
Date: Tue, 17 Jul 2001 14:45:28 +1000
From: Jeffrey Ferguson
The ultimate!!
A framed frame signed by the frame maker and limited to the number of
trees in the amazon forest! Of course the front man for the ad would be
Ray (whatever happened to me) Martin as he finds his new niche in footy
advertorials. Of course Bert (no second name needed, just like number 18
etc) would do Channel X advertorials. All framed frames would come with a
free hair remover and, if you are one of the first 500 to order by credit
card, you go into the draw for a framed frame signed by either Bert or
Ray! Yes, I know this has nothing to do with football, but that's the
point!
PS Congratulations on the ratings.
Regards
Jeffrey Ferguson
Date: Tue, 17 Jul 2001 16:19:48 +1000
From: Fry Michael
Here are a few suggestions for memorabilia.
Given that Channel 9 won't have rights to any of the pre 2002 footage
perhaps they can kick the ball rolling with the following:
Copies of the signed contract between Channel 7 and the AFL giving
Channel 7 last bidding rights. Include in the Frame a copy of the signed
cheque for $20 million.
Copies of the signed letter from Kerry Stokes to the AFL saying
Channel 7 will not be exercising its rights to make a last bid.
So much for the links to pre-2002.
Copies of autographed 'School Photos' showing the Channels 9, 10 and
Foxtel commentary teams individually and group shots of course.
Copies of the television schedule for the 2002 season, signed by the
head of each station's commentary team. Will be repeated in each year of
the contract so fanatical couch potatoes can build up a 'vintage' collection
(just like Grange).
Wait...There's more....Just wait until the ball is bounced on the 2002
season., when the real action starts.
Ahh...
Round 1
Mark of the Friday night on Channel 9
Mark of the Saturday afternoon on Channel 10
Mark of the Saturday night on Channel 10
Mark of the Sunday afternoon on Channel 9
Mark of the also-ran leftover matches on Foxtel
Goal of the [see above]
Play of the [see above]
BOG - Adelaide
BOG - Brisbane, etc
Ladder after round 1 signed by Coach and Captain of 1st placed team.
Round 2
Repeat Round 1, etc
Regards
Michael Fry
Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2001 10:33:01 +1000
From: 'Bishop, Brad'
We all know that Channel 9 is the home of `couch potato exploitation', so
therefore football viewers can expect to be bombarded with
`once-in-a-lifetime' opportunities to purchase signed footballing
memorabilia when they take over the footy coverage next year.
While it will only take some obscure statistic, such as Wayne Carey taking
his 75th mark at Optus Oval, to get the ball rolling for 9, they will be
stuck for ways to try and suck the Patrick (Cash) out of its viewers before
round one.
And with no previous on-field footage to revert to, it would no surprise to
see `Kerry's Conglomerate' focus its advertising attention to significant
moments from the eight-year history of The Footy Show.
Ah, I can already hear the great Tony Grieg (Who will be employed during the
football season now merely to flog these such `priceless items') ``Yes, and
Channel 9 viewers have the unique charnce to purchase a piece of Ostralyen
football history with just 750,000 of thees magnificent pieces of the cream
pie Sam used to stuff in young David Schwarz's face up for grabs.
``Each piece of pie comes full framed in a glorious mahogany enclosure and
is yaws to keep for just $1499.''
Other The Footy Show memories certain to hit the stands are locks of Sammy's
hair from when Jason Dunstall took to him with the clippers in the show's
early years (Given the way he's travelling, JD might want to buy a few of
those strands himself and head to Ashley and Martin); copies of Eddie's
original contract (about 2% the size of his current one) and a mural of some
of the wonderful people Sam has met during the years of Street Talk.
Brad Bishop
Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2001 10:50:35 +1000
From: Bill Hall
'CHANNEL NINE FOOTY MEMORABILIA'
The first item of limited edition memorabilia will be a signed, framed,
individually numbered photograph of the hole Kerry Packer punched in his
office wall when, on returning to work to 'get things back in order'
after'the young fella'sspell at the helm, he was informed that Channel
Nine did not have the rights to the finals series. The second item will
be an artist's impression of the 'new arsehole' which Kerry has promised
to the staff member responsible for the slip up.
Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2001 20:59:19 +1000
From: Mccaffco
ST KILDA THE DARWIN STUBBIE which is always presented empty with inter
alia a certificate of consumption(which given malcolm's comments
mayqualify as an oxymoron)which certificate details WHO BY (WHICH
PLAYER)
TIME TAKEN(TOTALTIME TAKEN TO CONSUME INCLUDING LAST500MLSKULL)
IN WHOSE COMPANY(WHAT OTHER PLAYERS WERE PRESENT)
OUTFIT AT TIME OF CONSUMPTION(HOPEFULLY SOMETHING AND AT A BARE MINIMUM
THONGS AND A FOOTBALL GUERNSEY ST KILDA OF COURSE(WITH OR WITHOUT A TIE)
DATE OF CONSUPTION( ON THE EVE OF THE BIG MATCH AGAINST ETCETERA)
TIME OF CONSUMPTION(HOPEFULLY A.M RATHER THAN P.M.)
PLACE OF CONSUMPTION(HOPEFULLY LINTON STREET BUT MORE LIKELY TO BE ONE OF
ANY ONE OF ANY NUMBER OF DISCOS.)
FREEMANTLE A CERTICATE OF FENG SHUI ISSUED BY THE SAME MIRACLE
WORKERS(SORRY MIRACLE SUB CONTRACTORS) WHO WERE ENGAGED BY ONE TEL FOR
ITS OFFICES AND THEN FLUSH WITH SUCCESS CROSSED (WHETHER BY ASTRAL TRAVEL
OR PLAIN TRAVEL)TO WEST AUSTRALIA TO HELP DAMIAN DRUM WORK SOME MAGIC ON
THE FREEMANTLE TEAM CHANGE ROOMS
ESSENDON HAS A CHOICE OF THREE
1 MATT OF GRASS( THE LLOYD MOBILE)
2 A PIECE OF THEINFAMOUS BOMBER JACKET FROM LEGENDARY SUBIACO
GAME
3PREMIERSHIP FLAG (THEY MAY BE ABLE TO DO IT BY THE END OF THE
DFCADE)
GEELONG HANDBAGS
HAWTHORN THE MINI ARK AUTHENITICATED BY THE MODERN DAY NOAH DAVID PARKIN
WHO ACCORDING TO LEGEND (THAT IS FOOTBALL FOLKLORE)HAS SAVEDTHE FOOTBALL
COMMUNITY FROM SHEEDYS PERNICIOUS FLOOD
ALL OTHER TEAMS THE COODABEENS C.D . TALKING TO TONY
MAX MCCAFFREY
Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2001 22:41:38 +1000
From: Glenn Smooker
Simon,
Firstly Simon you may have noticed that I'm not entering each and every
week. The reason for this is simple.When you have played this game for
as long as I have you need to pace yourself to get through the season.
As a young lad back in the early 80's it was fine for me to contest in
the comp each and every week however times have changed. The competition
is different now. Entries are submitted so much quicker than when I
first started.
The compis alsomuch more professional now. Back in my day we were
happy just to compete for a greasy parmagania and a pot of VB Just try
offering that as a prize these days and see how the public handle it!!!
Simon, were the contestants back in my day as good as the one's of
today? Am I clinging to my childhood by trying to compete with the
youngsters of today? Or is it too difficult to judge contestants of
different era's?
Maybe it is time for me to hang up my boots and call it a day!!
Anyhow here is my entry for this month hope you enjoy:-
SCENE:
It is late on a Spring Saturday afternoon and Tim Webster is sitting at
the sports desk welcoming viewers back from the break. To assist you
with picking up signals that may question the authenticity of the item
being sold, I have underlined possible clues to fraud.
TIM:
'Welcome back to Ten's exclusive coverage of the 2002 AFL Grand Final.
We will be returning back to the game soon.
Over the years there have been many unforgettable moments on AFL Grand
Final day.
Who can forget when Peter Moore threw his 1978 VFL Runners-Up medal into
the crowd at the MCG. Well 'Ten Memorabillia' has obtained the actual
medal that was thrown into the MCC members that September afternoon and
we will be selling this priceless item today for the bargain price of $
2,500 plus GST.
The medal will be tastefully presented in a framed box along with the
actual Melbourne guersey worn by the Demon champion on that day. (Camera
displays a Melbourne jumper signed 'Best wishes from Peter More.)
Yes, who can forget the big blond gangly wingman bounding around wearing
the famous Number 13 guernsey and many of you may remember him by his
nickname..........Crazy Horse.
We will open the lines immediately and if you wish to make a bid for one
of them.
Whilst we are waiting for the item to be sold, I will provide you with
the latest updated score in today's Grand Final that is being exclusively
presented by Ten.
At the 25 minute mark of the final quarter, Essendon 16.12: 108 lead
Collingwood 16.11:107. My producer has just indicated that the ball is
deep into Collingwood's forward line. We will return back to the game as
soon as all of thegenuine VFL Runners-Up Medals and Melbourne jumper
signed by Crazy Horse More have been sold.'
After a slight pause, Tim states:
'Isn't that amazing. All 500 of the Crazy Horse More medals and jumper
have been sold. So quickly....well I suppose that just proves that 'Ten
Memorabillia' items are in a league of its own. Now back to the game'.
Regards
Glenn Smooker
Date: Thu, 19 Jul 2001 10:35:19 +1000
From: David O'Brien
During a blockbuster game between Carlton and Collingwood at the 'G', a player
is downed off the ball. Players from both sides converge and soon a melee is
underway. As Channel Nine's policy regarding unseemly acts at the cricket (eg.
streakers) is now part of their football coverage, the director cuts to shots
of the crowd.
The Melee continues so the director cuts to a still shot of a large framed item
with the words 'THE PRESIDENTS' superimposed.
Voice Over: 'Channel Nine are pleased to announce the release of 'The
Presidents' which is sure to become a collectors item. It features each of the
current AFL presidents and is individually signed.'
Astute viewers may note that the pictures of Eddie and Big Jack are
substantially larger than those of the other presidents. Also some of the
lesser known one's don't even rate a photo. They are represented by a crude
pencil drawing.
The Melbourne one is just a question mark.
David O'Brien
Date: Thu, 19 Jul 2001 12:47:24 +1000
From: brett scammell
How about this for a rare, limited edition piece
'The Straight Centre Bounce'
Commentary
'This extremely rare, framed photo of a straight centre ball up will be
yours to cherish forever.
This will never be repeated so get yours today.
Beware of cheap imitations that try, but never quite succeed.
Also in this box set of Sporting phenomenon is Greg Norman winning a Golf
Major,
Anna Kornikova winning a Tennis tournament and any English team winning
anything (no picture available yet)
So get yours now before they all disappear”
B Scammell
Date: Thu, 19 Jul 2001 15:47:58 +1000
From: "Wilson, Karyn"
I think I have come up with just the thing:
* An 900cm x 900cm collage of stills of cast and crew from World of
Sport, tastefully framed with wood from the old World of Sport set.
Unfortunately it won't be signed as the majority of cast members have
pre-deceased us. This memento comes complete with a Hutton's Ham, Four &
Twenty pies and chocolates from Ballantynes.
* Your team Grand Final video (you choose the year) and have it
digitally enhanced so that "your face" appears in the crowd shots every so
often (ah la Adriana from North Melbourne) (in fact I think this is not a
bad idea, and could take-off).
Best wishes
Karyn
PS: I think I will look into copyrighting suggestion no 2. K
Karyn Wilson
Date: Thu, 19 Jul 2001 16:37:26 +1000
From: Mark Giuliano
STRICTLY LIMITED EDITION
Framed - The original Black and White National Panasonic TV set awarded
to Robbert Klomp after his sensational performance in a 1981 Escort Cup
game at VFL Park, Waverley.
Each item is individually signed by [1] Robbert Klomp himself (with 2 B's
in Robbert to ensure authenticity), [2] Lou Richards, who decided that
Robbert deserved the award, and [3] Jack Edwards, the poor guy who had
the embarrassment of first presenting the TV to Klomp and then seeingthe
bearded defender's statistics appear on screen.
But hurry.......it's astrictly limited edition with only one for each
possesson that Klomp hadthat night.
That's right, only 6 have been made. And it could be yours for $1898.
How did we come up with such an unusual price, I hear you ask !!????
That's :
Regards
Mark Giuliano
THORNBURY
Date: Thu, 19 Jul 2001 16:43:27 +1000
From: "Salton, Jeff"
Sorry Simon,
You know I meant it's really great to see you back. And how dare some
first-gamer threaten you without even knowing you. At least he didn't
win. (Hey, why no player-of-the-year celebration this year?)
Anyway, my entry this week...
Can you see Eddie et al trying to flog these off:
Special offer #1
"And now viewers have the opportunity to purchase this beautifully framed
and mounted piece of football memorabilia no fair dinkum fan would be
without ... a very large bone. But not just any bone. No. These
authentic carbon-tested bones, are exact in every detail to the one
umpire Glenn James threatened to point at Crackers Keenan.Master
palaeontologistshave agonised over the selection process and have chosen
these bones fromliterally thousands of others for their 'traditional
look and feel'. As an added bonus, each bone comes with a 60-page full
colour glossyreproduction of episodes of‘ Boney’, the early
1972-73 TV serialisation of a part-Aboriginal detective Napoleon‘
Boney’ Bonapart who solved crimes throughout Australia. Later series
in 1990, Boney’s grandson David‘ Bony’ Boneyparte (note
spelling– clever eh?) played by Cameron Daddo, lasted only 1 season.
This collectors’ item alone is valued at $49.99, but this Nine
Network publication is yours absolutely free when you purchase‘ You
Bonehead, Crackers’ for the unbelievable price of $399 + $25 p&h.
Be quick. Ring 1800 747 633 (1800 RIP OFF) to order yours now."
Special offer #2
"Next: And what about thisbeautifully framed and mounted strand ofblond
hair taken from the clenched fist of Mal Brown after the notorious
half-time'blue' at Windy Hill in the '70s. Each oneis co-signed by Big
Bad Mal and the Flying Dutchman, Paul van der Haar. Only 350 in total.
$299 each + $25 p&h.‘ Hairy Encounter’ comes with DNA
certificate of authenticity and a six-pack of Fosters."
Special offer #3
"How about a beautifully framed and mounted half-eaten apple thrown over
the fence at Kardinia Park at Doug Wade as he lined up for goal from the
boundary line in the mid-'70s. This apple actually altered the
trajectory of Doug's kick and he missed the goal. Only 500 beautifully
crafted replica apples made.‘ Goal-den Delicious’ sells for
only $495 + $25 p&h."
"Ever been to India? Well, get these into ya footy fans."
Jeff Salton
Date: Thu, 19 Jul 2001 21:29:52 +1000
From: Andrew McKie
A Channel 7 football memorabiliarelease would have to include some stuff
from 'World of Sport' including:
-The theodolite Bruce Andrew used to getthe part in hishair exactly
straight;
-Jim Cleary's brass knuckles (he lived for that Bloodbath game against
Carlton);
-Lou Richards' High School geography textbook & bible(one day on W.O.S.
Ron Casey did a very serious interview with a Priest about raising funds
to take a group of handicapped kids to Lourdes in France, presumably to
bathe in the holy water; as Lou presented the Huttons ham & the
Entertainmints he remarked to the good Father "I hope you enjoy the
cricket at Lord's".... Ron just buried his face in his hands);
-Jack Dyer commemorative 'Peter Cardin' ties and 'see-same' (sesame)
bars;
-The blue metal box which was supposed to contain an electric drill Sam
Newman was in the middle of doing a live ad. for; he was extolling its
virtues when he opened the box on camera to discover it wasn't there;
-Sandy Roberts' various hair pieces from over the years (it looks like
one);
-Those horriblepolo necked jumpers with the Hawthorn sponsor (Wynvale
wines?) logoembroidered on the neck that Peter Landy used to wear on
'W.O.S. Replay' every Sunday Morning;
-Empty Crest Lager & Courage Bitter bottles & cans;
-A book of Lou's recipes from 'League teams';
-Big V jumpers from K-Mart autographed by Bobby Davis (can't see that one
happening);
-Authenticated & numbered strands of hair from the only hairstyle to
appear anywhere near as 'ironed on' and rigid as Richie
Benaud's............Denis Cometti, of course;
-The brown paper bags Peter Landy used when he regularly hyperventilated
any time Paul Van Der Haar got even an inch off the ground ("VAN DER
HAAR!!!").
Andrew McKie
Date: Thu, 19 Jul 2001 21:37:55 +1000
From: Darrell Nash
Working on the Tony Leonard guidelines to radio commentary (big on
content - forget the quality) choose from the following gems:
Framed & Autographed prints -
* The Coach - Tim Watson & Malcolm Blight at the whiteboard,
reminiscing over their wins and checking the social club notes to see who
is available for the next game.
* The Right Foot Kick - Scotty Lucas fools everyone except Garry
Moorcroft for his one and only non-preferred(soon to be followed by the
handball).
* The Free Kick - Gavin Wanganeen throws his arms and head violently
backwards at the strategic moment when an opponent dares to touch him.
* Poetry In Motion - a double print of Duncan & Andie Kellaway
executing a pin point pass in true Bruce Andrews technical fashion.
* Greatest Hits - a collection of Byron Pickett's shirtfronts (signed
by Brendon Krummel), second in a series with Dale Kickett's WACO (sorry
WACA) massacre.
* Singing The Song - remembering Freo's last win
* Keep The Kid's From The Fire Place - Mick Martyn
* Edward Beale - Hawthorn boys show off their best hairdos
* Team of the Century - Falcons players dominating the AFL (and not
playing for the Cat's)
Special Lines -
* Wine Package - Martin Pike's personal pre-training selection.
* Daic's Audio Highlights- commentary gems such as
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH NOOO!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Darrell Nash
Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2001 00:06:53 +1000
From: Doug Long
DEAR SIMON,
Late one evening during the drinks session in channel "three
squared’s" live footy coverage.
Richie can’t cope with Aussie Rules, so Tony Greig (?) steps in (his
good buddy Bill by his side):
Tony: We have a special offer: a picture of this champion that has been
expertly(?) framed… in fact, framed in 1951,
John Coleman was;
for striking in retaliation to an extremely dubious act. It tragically
cost Essendon the flag that year."
Bill (with excitement): HE’S A VICTORIAN!!!!
Tony (continuing):
How much would you expect to pay for such a great treasure? Probably
about ten bucks normally, but since we only have 1500 of them
individually numbered, we expect to flog them for $2,000 each;
and send us a MEMBER OF YOUR FAMILY;
and send us a FLATTERING LETTER.
Yes, that’s right– just $2,000 plus HOSTAGE and PANDERING (get
it?) is all it costs you for this STRICTLY LIMITED OFFER
Bill: That’s a shocking offer, Tony!
Tony: Well, I told you it was strictly limited, Bull!
#############################################
So that’s my entry; but now for a my nightmare experience:
I dreamt that the 3AW hierarchy addressed a packed media conference on
the reasons for unceremoniously dumping Simon Whelan from his role as The
Comp Judge. {3AW is the station that Butters(s) Simon’s BREAD to the
tune of estimates up to a million…… . Lira}.
Simon felt that he was still worth his pay even though he admitted to
being 500 per cent worse than judges of other competitions.
3AW hierarchy obviously disagreed. "Dating back over some months we
observed Simon's style to be somewhat distant and aloof," it was said at
today's packed media conference. "Over the past two or three months, we
have concluded that Simon’s essentially autonomous style (his
maltreatment of Jeff from Kilsyth, his attributing Michelle Blight’s
comments to someone else, his failure to spot the wit of some contestants
and his misreading of many entries) simply does not fit with the
direction we believe this station must pursue."
The decision to terminate Whelan's contract was made at 10pm yesterday,
and the news broken to Whelan and the Coodabeens this morning. He said
Whelan was disappointed and would have preferred to see the year out, but
that Anchor Man Jeff Richardson will take over the reins for the
remaining seven weeks, and a new Comp Judge will be sought for next
season. "I honestly don't think it sets us back at all," a 3AW boss
claimed.
For Whelan, this is presumably the end of a chaotic and brilliant career.
Last year, when asked if he would be the Comp Judge again, he replied:
"Never say never". After his sacking, his one quote was, "NEVER
SAY,‘ NEVER SAY NEVER’!"
I woke up in a cold sweat; later realising to my great relief that it was
just a bad dream.
Doug Long
Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2001 10:14:47 +1000
From: Jac & Pete
Channel 9 footy memorabila
Channel 9 personalities are 'more than the game' SO viewers can purchase
the following memorabila;
1. 'EDDIE PLAYING THE GAME' - a framed photo of Eddie McGuire playing
roulette at the Crown Entertainment Centre, personally signed. Only 500
at $500 each (all proceeds to Eddies)
2. 'IT'S MORE THAN A GAME' - a framed photo of Eddie McGuire and John
Elliott playing roulette at the Crown Entertainment Centre, personally
signed. Only 500 at $500 each (all proceeds to Eddie and John)
3. 'KERRY DOES ONE MILLION' - a framed photo of Kerry Packer losing
one million dollars at roulette whilst Eddie McGuire looks on before
uttering the immortal words 'it's only a million dollars', personally
signed. Only 500 at $500, all proceeds to Eddie and the charity of his
choice (the Collingwood footy club)
Channel 9 appreciates that this memorabila will only be of interest to
Crown Casino partrons and Collingwood supporters - AND THEY DON'T CARE!
Jac and Pete Kilgour
Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2001 09:16:44 +1000
From: KyselaO
Sime
What we respect about Channel 9 is its propensity not to reward mediocrity
in its offerings of beautifully framed and presented, limited edition stills
of magic moments. 9 would never sell out for commercial gain at the game's
expense. It's all about integrity - names like Munroe, Martin and Mulvray
pick themselves. 9 applies the utilitarianistic approach that the game is
greater than than any of its elements, including the element of TV rights,
and that in the fullness of time, there is to be only one winner from its
coverage, and that winner is football.
Round 1 , 2002 season. Half time. Ed throws to Tony Grieg to announce his
first offering in his AFL debut.
Title (always in italics and flanked by quotation marks): "6 Of The
Best"
Likely Purchaser: Supporters of insolvent Victorian clubs, Save Waverly
supporters and Diamond Joe.
Print: 100 prints of the official x-ray of Wayne Jackson's 6 boken ribs,
personally signed by Wayne, and provided with a certificate of
authentication signed by the Channel 9 radiologist who captured the moment.
Tony: "Well, he must have been in absolutely excruciating pain. Look at the
splintered third rob (rib) on the left side - that's ended up in three
different postcodes. So Triple A fans, every time you watch your team play
in Canberra, or even if you just sneeze, cough, burp or hiccup, just corst
(cast) a glance at this mess and that will square things up a bit".
Oliver Kysela
Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2001 12:30:05 +1000
From: "Pearce, Malcolm M"
Coodabeen Champions - Competition - Framed Mementos etc
Given that the footy will no longer be on Channel 7, I thought that the
following would act as a memento to the great service provided by the channel
to the sport of footy.
1. How about a Signed, fully framed in mahogany photo of Bruce, Sandy,
Robbo and Dipper (resplendent in his around the ground raincoat) calling the
final game of the season at Fremantle when they play the Crows at Subiaco on
Saturday 1 September. 'What a special game and a special moment to commemorate
Channel 7's 45 years of football - lets not waste time signing off on a game
that includes any Victorian teams!
Bruce will be in his relaxed pose, no jacket sitting in front
of the others with the headphones draped around his neck having spent the
entire evening waxing lyrically about how 'spec...' Jarman has been and 'what a
champion' he is. Is there any better way for Bruce to sign off....., other than
talking about James, but they play on Friday night and it's a bit early for the
Bruce to be signing off that early on the weekend
Sandy, Robbo and Dipper also get in the final shot because none
of them will be heading off to the brave new world of football commentary.
2. Conversely, Channel 9 and 10 could also offer football collectors what
promises to usher in a new era of football with the following 'never to be seen
again' and 'once in a lifetime opportunity' autographed fully framed photo of
the new commentary teams for the 2002 season. How's this for a lineup,
Channel 9 - Main commentators - Ray Martin (holds it all together),
Ken Sutcliff and Ken Callendar
Special Comments - Big Daryl Eastlake
and that other rugby guy called 'the bear' who is on the Today show.
Channel 10- Main commentators - Tim Webster (anchor), Barry Sheen
and Kerry Ann Kennelly
Special Comments - The hard-hitting
Stan Zamanek and Gretel Killen (cross promotion for Big Brother IV)
All photos with lots of footy's and props but in the background, the
goal posts will be those on a rugby field not an AFL ground.
3. Or of course, Channel 9 could run with the various shots of Eddie
McGuire singing the song with the players on the ground at each of the
Collingwood games - only 11 photo's in the set to ensure that Collingwood
doesn't make the final 8 each year!
Malcolm Pearce
Moonee Ponds Vic 3039
malpearce@iprimus.com.au
Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2001 12:44:40 +1000
From: Geoff Corboy
Round One 2002 - Game 1 - Fremantle v Western Bulldogs at Subiaco on a
Friday night
Peter Busustow, Brad Hardie & Denis Commetti in the Nine commentary box.
Note: one new innovation - the interchange moves and injured players
taking no further part in the game (denoted in red) are shown
periodically in a small box at the top of screen - sorry Dipper no
incisive comments from a boundary rider required.
Half time siren sounds and Buzz turns to the camera and offers the
following "must have" collectors item.
Panoramic shot of Subiaco oval showing the ruck contest at the start of
this game. Each individually signed by the co-captains of the teams
(Grant & West - WB, McManus, Fletcher & Darren Gaspar for Freo.)
Limited to 6723 copies (so that everyone in the crowd can get a copy and
point out where they were sitting to their family and friends)
The value of this item is further enhanced by the trivia game which can
be played as the photo (or should that be lithograph) sits on the rumpus
room wall:-
1. Point out the home and away coach's boxes and find which one
Terry Wallace is sitting in?
2. Is that Aaron Hamill at Full Forward for Freo?
3. Point out the players which Collingwood traded to Fremantle to
obtain the draft pick they used to get Spider Everitt
4. Ask the same question re: Carlton and Matthew Richardson, the
Swans and Troy Luff and Essendon and some 17 year old kid who Sheeds
thinks may turn out ok.
Photo is provided courtesy of Colonial Stadium Promotions and proceeds
go to the restoration of the place where the sun does not shine.
(Forward pocket - Lockett end)
Price: First twenty callers $149.95 framed ($129.95 unframed)
Normal price: $189.95.
Ring now!!
Enjoying the show through 3SR FM
GC, Deniliquin NSW
Date: 19 Jul 2001 19:00:26 MDT
From: michael hogg
in the midst of blighty being sacked, channel 9 is offering a chance to
purchase this limited edition series of frames showing his walkout on the
crows before the game had finished. limited to 500,000 they will sell for
$10,000,000 plus 19.95 postage and handling. also there are still series' of
malcolm telling the cats to roll in the mud before the game in '89 and when he
got them to line out before adelaide ran out onto the ground. time is running
out so call now.
1800 MEMRO
Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2001 03:30:11
From: stuart mcarthur
Dear Simon,
AFL memorabilia for 2001
1. Photo of runner-up Tiger Woods congratulating Gary Moorcroft on winning
CNN's sporting moment of the year.
2. Photo of Derryn Hinch at a Melbourne game.
3. Photo of Blighty WITH sparkle.
4. The new runners with the worn-out soles of the goal ump who was down the
Richo end during the Port Adelaide - Richmond match.
Regards,
Stuart McArthur
Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2001 15:26:13 +1000
From: Jon Willis
1. Original packet of Dons sausages and Ballentines chocolates from World Of
Sport (episode 21)
2. Collection of some of Bruce's excitable spit (presented in a tasteful vase)
after calling ANY game with Wayne Carey.
3. Rare recording of "special comments" by Warrick Caper during a Sydney match
(contradiction in terms there).
Keep up the fab work.
Yours Sincerely,
Fi Hobson
Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2001 16:00:01 +1000
From: paul russo
MEMORABILIA TO ADVERTISE AFTER GOALS
Great Moments From the Archives of Channel 9 :
1. Framed photograph of Don Lane telling James Randi to "piss off".
Limited copies only available signed by Don and Doris Stokes.
2. Framed photograph of Graham Kennedy doing his famous crow call during
Blankety Blanks. Limited copies available. First 100 buyers get a bonus
photograph of Kennedy doing his "Cyril says" impersonations.
3. Framed Photograph of "That Punch" that took place between Normie Rowe
and Ron Casey from the Mike Walsh show. Limited copies signed by both
fighters.
4. Framed photograph of Mike Willesee presenting Ÿ Current Affair" in a
"tired and emotional" state. Perfect to be hung above your bar.
>From Faction 3366 - Paul Russo/John Clements
Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2001 17:05:57 +1100
From: BHansen@greens.com.au
With Channel 9's want to continually offer a new memorabilia experience
every week the following is likely to be one of their first footy
offerings...................
The ad presented by channel 9 football personality Bruce McAvaney would go
as follows..............
"In keeping with our rich tradition of offering only authentic and unique
sporting memorabilia, we have here an opportunity for only the most astute
of collectors.
Behind me you can see an example of 1 out of a limited edition of 1500.
Yes, it is the famous Black and blue guernsey........... of the University
fotball club.
Personally signed by every player who participated in their 2 record
breaking ( you can substitute - winless) seasons, 1913 & 1914.
Heading the list of famous signatures on this esteemed guernsey is that of
the stoic full forward Roy Park who not only was selected to play at full
forward in the state side in 1913 but was also a prominant medical
practitiioner.
Don't miss your opportnity to invest in this once only opportunity and also
have a physical reminder of 51 consecutive losses.
Get that dialling finger ready now and ring 1900.4444 and quote
commemorative opportunity code 234 and be quick, as I mentioned earlier we
only have 1500 of these availble and we expect them to walk away.
Other keepsake opportunies for keen followers of the Universirty club
A replica of the 1908 flag won in the Metropolitan Football Competition
that was unfurled at its first VFL game
A Video of that famous August 21 1913 clash which saw a plucky
University tie with the powerful Collingwood at 5.9 a piece
The leather bound book - limited edition - Characters of the U.F.C.
All above products have the necessary certificates of authenticity via the
Wide World Of Sports intiricate legal network."
Regards
Bill Hansen.
Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2001 17:02:17 +1000
From: Maurice Nugent
I can vividly imagine the Nine commentary team using airtime to flog, under
the title of "COUNTING THEIR CHICKENS," authenticated replicas of Seven's
lease at Colonial, mounted on a facsimile blueprint of their studio at
Docklands.
James Packer has personally added in ink to each of the 500 copies the line,
"I will not stuff this one up." They are then personally stamped in Grange,
using the bottom of a glass, by Kerry.
Best wishes,
Moz from Hampton
Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2001 17:29:20 +1000
From: "Walby, Andrew"
Mounted framed, autographed and numbered
- tufts of grass thrown in the air by Matty Lloyd before a "shot on goal"
- fingernails broken by Jimmy Hird that cause him to go off the ground,
cry, miss the second half and be in doubt for next week
- photos of David Bourke taking a "hanger" as it will be his only
possession for the game but for some reason he remains on the list year
after year
- stitches taken out of Knighter's head in season 2001 (he's copped an
awful lot of them, and no doubt round 17 will provide some more)
Andrew Walby
Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2001 18:07:27 +1000
From: Kate Sereda
Rare and exotic football memorabilia.
For exclusive purchase by Carlton supporters only.
For $399 (inc. postage & handling)
A framed and autographed splinter of wood from the MCC womens toilet door
cubicle 3 that was shattered by Wayne Harmes in the 1979 Grand Final when
he
knocked the ball back into play in that fateful final quarter.
50 cents from each purchase will go to the Fund for blind boundary
umpires.
from
Vic Sereda.
Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2001 19:05:29 +1000
From: Matthew Cronin
Dear Simon,
My entry for the memorabilia for the channel 9 presenters to flog,
whoops, I mean offer as exclusive limited editions is as follows:
As we all know, channel 7 has lost the TV rights for next year and in the
true tradition of taking their bat and ball and going home, they have
retained the exclusive rights to all TV footage up until season 2001.
Channel 9's unique response to this is to offer a limited edition package
of still photographs of famous TV footage with an added bonus. The
package of still photographs when put in sequence from 1 to 500, can be
flicked through like the yellow pages ad to reveal the animated 'live
coverage' frame by frame of the famous incident.
In our first exclusive offer, we are offering the re-enactment of
Jesaulenko taking his mark over Jerka Jenkins in the 1970 grand final.
As a bonus to the first 500 callers, when you turn the photos over, you
can flick through the stills to see Teddy Hopkins come off the bench to
win the game for the blues.
In the next package of still photos, there is a Carlton supporter version
of the Wayne Harmes incident in the 1979 grand final, where the still
photo's when flicked through reveal that Wayne Harmes was never over the
boundary line before knocking the ball to Ken Sheldon in the goal square
- must be digital enhancement to come up with this package.
Not to be outdone however, Eddie Macguire has the Collingwood supporter
version of the still photographs that clearly show Harmes in the first
row of the Western Stand, and not only that but that Ken Sheldon clearly
puts his foot over the line and therefore the goal is in fact a point.
Retrospective premiership to Collingwood - I think not!!!
The offers on special are limitless if you put your mind, or digital
enhancement to use (and we all know that Channel 9 will wow us with this
don't we).
Yet another offer from Eddie and the boys could be a set of limited
edition Scanlen's footy cards - framed individually of course - complete
with original stick of chewing gum. Again, a bonus with this offer is
that when you turn the frames over, it reveals a portion of a picture
from last year's grand final. Put all the pieces together on your wall
(or morelikely the clubroom wall from your local club) to reveal the
complete picture of North Melbourne (with Courage logo) versus Hawthorn
(with the Wynvale logo). Great memories!!!
Keep praying for snow Simon - this good weather can't last forever.
Matt Cronin
Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2001 20:56:32 +1000
From: Gary bourke
A CD of all the themes Channel 7 has used to introduce the football
But no just only one CD
A Rap version :
Reggae : Up there Cazaly man
C & W
Blues
Pop
You know the score !!
Gary Bourke
Rupanyup
Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2001 11:57:23
From: Damien Joyce
Could do the usual jokes; "Speeeeecial" McAvaney, "that's ambitious" Den,
"cover yourself in glory son" Robbo etc, but I won't, tis a cop out.
Here's my simple idea, scrap this south of the Yarra, framed limited edition
print, $399 plus postage and handling, only for those Toorak tractors types
sort of scheme, and take football back to the punters.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH SELLING SOME BLOODY VIDEOS AT $30 BUCKS A POP (note there
may be a small fee for postage and "handling"). AS ALF FISCHER WOULD SAY,
"STONE THE CAMRY CROWS AILSA"! Anyway, with the rights to all the footage
up to '92, would Stokesy please use the bloody stuff. So much footage, so
many memories and we hardly get to see it. I love it so much my highlight
of the footy week is watching the start of Sunday afternoon footy with the
collage of footage, and listening to Jeansy, EJ and "Don't think, DO!"
Kennedy. Lets have a footy marathon every Friday night, and theme weeks,
i.e the great comebacks, or the huge upsets.
At least then Kerry you can say , "I did this, at least I did something!!!"
Now Simon, I know Tony has the ear of the movers and shakers in the football
world, so could you please pass this idea to him so that it can reach those
at the top.
And footy fans, all roads lead to Brunswick today as the North Old Boys host
traditional rivals De La Salle in what can only be described as a
"blockbuster" clash. Be there.
Cheers
Damien Joyce, North Old Boys
Date: Sat, 21 Jul 2001 00:09:16 +1000
From: Christopher Hardie
A few ideas for Channel Nine Style memrabilia.
How about something original like a panoramic photograph. Perhaps one that
shows the true scope and detail of the crap view from the back row of the
legends stand. And I can think of no better format to do this as the
panoramic view tends to lengthen what's directly in front of you make things
in the mid distance seem even further away. So rather than the usual 50
rows in front of you, it would seem like about 200 (and that's just what it
feels like when you're sitting there too).
For truely authentic souvineers. Get in quick for the signed photograph of
some 12 year player finally getting to his 50th game. Fully framed of
some 12 year player finally getting to his 50th game. Fully framed of
course, each including a small mangled piece of crepe paper and sticky tape
that you can pretend came from the banner. A limited edition of only 5000
(if you do the maths, that would make all the 'authentic' sections of the
banner add up to roughly the size of the MCG).
No true footy fan's memrobilia collection would be complete with a complete
set of framed miniaturised dressing gowns of the eighties. Relive the
halcyon days when players looked as though they'd got out of bed minutes
before hitting the ground.
For the ultimate collector. You can own the actual magnetised name tag used
on the coaches box magnetic clip board thing. This unique item comes will
liven up any room measuring roughly 2 x 1.5 metres once framed.
And of course as it's channel nine, how about a running series of Sam
Newman's classic moments. They're all here, all framed, and all signed by
his personal secretary. Relive those magic hours of hilarity as week by
week we send you a new picture of Sam at his best. Week one is Sam with
nugget on his face. But in the coming weeks you'll also recieve Sam
throwing a pie, Sam getting his head shaved, Sam pretending to be a goal
umpire, Sam standing next to a topless girl, Sam talking down to a club
president, and about 20 different versions of Sam asking a heroin
addict/homeless/unemployed/non english speaking gutter dweller about
flooding tactics, all in the name of comedy and all the while grinning at
the camera. Believe me, once they're on your wall they'll just get funnier
and funnier.
Chris Hardie
and marcellin who are on top of a grade in the ammo's
On behalf of Channel 9, we offer the perfect addition to your corporate
boardroom. Tastefully framed in grey metal and delightfully printed on
white background with thin horizontal black stripes, each one accurately
individually numbered, sold as a complete set or individually, The
Official Police Photographs Collection. You can have Spider, Bazza, Big
Jack, Matty, Crazy Joe and Sam all for the low price of $599.99 each.
Another great offer to sit over your bar, The Green Liquid Filled
See-through See-saw. Personally autographed by Trevor Marmalade and
complete with detailed instructions for Collingwood supporters on how to
get it to lean from one side to the other (rather than being hopelessly
biased one way) this would make a great birthday gift.
Finally, if you want to learn how to reproduce any of the great TV you've
seen on our network, you can send for a fact sheet to our web site
www.eddieisnotouronlypersonality.com.au
and get such useful information as Sam's personal custard pie recipe and
Matthew Lloyd's makeup and acting tips.
$22 [Klomp's guernsey number] PLUS
$7 [the Network that brought us this gem] PLUS
$6 [Klomp's total possessions] PLUS
$1859 [the number of people attending that night] PLUS
$4 [the temperature on that famous night]