The Coodabeen Champions Competition
Round One
Nominate the Good Ordinary Player who ALWAYS puts in a blinder against YOUR Club
_________________________________
Date: Sat, 31 Mar 2001 23:27:05 +1000 From: ielse@pacific.net.au
Being a 19 year old Essendon supporter, my obvious choice for a 'crappy player' who consistantly performed well against my club would be Saverio Rocca. I must say, however, that I'm sure that a player who has kicked over 500 goals and won a club best and fairest could be described as 'crappy'.
Ergo, I have decided on someone else. When a member of panel mentioned that the 'crappy' player is always the one that gets drafted by your club on the back of these performances, one name jumped into my mind. Darren Whieldon.
'The Doc' was drafted by Essendon, or Kevin Sheedy to be more specific, in the 1995 national draft as their first choice, 15th Overall. Sheedy was quoted at the time as saying something along the lines of 'well, he always played well against us and I'd rather have him playing in an Essendon jumper than any another'. Little was Sheeds to know that Whieldon would be mowed down by a taxi in King St., causing him to break his leg and consequently, never pull on a bomber jumper.
Andrew, Werribee
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Date: Mon, 2 Apr 2001 21:24:34 +1000
From: Michele Blight
Whilst glad that footy is back I couldn't quite shake the summer theme's
when considering my player that we haven't yet drafted BUT we should
draft.
My player has experienced great success against not only my team, but
everyone on the panels team.Ý But before he did that none of us had heard
of him, save for a long forgotten dispute with our team in 1999.Ý He has
spun back into our lives and given great entertainment to the home team.
That player is HARBIJIAN SINGH aka The Turbinator as David Hookes calls
him.
Here we were rejoicing in Australia that Anil Kumble was out of the team,
then up pops "Budgie" to ruin our Test record.Ý
Not good enough I say.
Time to bring back the Keppler law and draft Budgie to play in our
upcoming tour to England.
Michele Blight
_________________________________
Date: Tue, 03 Apr 2001 14:57:50 +1000
From: Tim Goddard
It is with a great deal of pleasure that you are reading this, as it with a
great deal of pleasure (mixed with a little pain) that I am writing this.
I have found, in correspondence past, that referring to Simon as a nuff nuff or
as a 'Chardonnay sipping - penguin suit wearing - chocolate coated almonds all
round - isn't it warm behind the glass - it's finally good to see a game' type
that, whilst it is accurate, it does not address the competition as such. I
vow to realign my innerself.
Following the Mighty Mighty Cats I am fully aware of the term 'good ordinary
player' as we have had our fair share, none more so than Murray 'very fit but
not very good' Whitecome (??). Dud.
Opposition sides too, are full of them, but only one stands out. There was a
bloke form Foot-a-scray with a TV show name after him, Hunter. I don't know
whether he played 10 or 100 games, but whenever he played against the Cats, all
I ever heard was a group of (five or so) fellas going 'Da Da Da Na Hunter' (I
take it was the tune to the TV show theme).
I know he was a 'good ordinary player' as he had a song attached to him. I
don't know wether he actually played well against us or I just remember him
from the song. But what I do recall is that when he was within half a post
code of the ball the chant would start. Da Da Da Na Hunter!
Maybe, just maybe, I was near the same fellas each time I saw them play. Which
ever it was 'Da Da Da Na Hunter' was everywhere. Still to this day. (How do
you get rid of tunes which float around your noggin without prior consent?
Solve that and the World is yours).
I should note that even though Da Da Da Na Hunter played blinders against us,
we still won the majority of games. gee we must have been good to overcome
such an irresistible player.
It is a pleasure listening, and more recently, knowing which horses will not
win thanks to Tony's tips. He could sell himself as a 'Still running
Scratching service' such was the level of his success.
May your side win (except for Simon's Saints)
Go the Cats! Go the Seagulls! (Barwon Heads)
Cheers
Tim Goddard
_________________________________
Date: Tue, 3 Apr 2001 15:50:17 +1000
From: Oliver_Kysela@ernstyoung.com.au
Subject: The Ordinary Unit Who Is Our Nemesis
This email is to be read subject to the disclaimer below.
Si
Nemesis of the Hawthorn Football Club:
#25, In the All White Colours of the Club, JOHNNY HARVEY.
He got a taste of reclaiming 4 premiership points back from the jaws of
victory when he paid the hottest of holding the ball decisions against
Raymond Jencke a few years back during a season-proper night match at
Waverly, and Anthony Merrington went back and went bang. Then the siren
went bang. And he's done his best to replicate this catastrophe on at
least two occasions since, with mixed results.
Shane Crawford will ask for a head count the next time #25 officiates the
brown and gold, and ask him to line up with the opposition to support his
case.
Regards
Oliver Kysela
Retired #1 Ticket Holder of the Yarra Valley Old Boys (who underwent a "pre-season
clean out")
_________________________________
Date: Tue, 3 Apr 2001 21:17:01 +1000
From:
Hello Simon,
As a Carlton Supporter, any opposition player is only a "good, ordinary"
player. Eg. Lockett, Carey or Lloyd.
_________________________________
Date: Tue, 03 Apr 2001 14:25:51
From: stuart mcarthur
Dear Simon,
Thanks for the chance to exorcise the ghost of Phillip Walsh.
1984 round 2
Phillip Walsh plays first game for Collingwood.
1984 rounds 3-7
Phillip Walsh does enough to raise eyebrows.
1984 round 8
AGAINST RICHMOND
Phillip Walsh burns off 3 opponents, gathers 16 kicks, delivers some clever
assists, and Jack Dyer tells Ian Major he likes the look of this young
feller.
1984 rounds 9-17
Phillip Walsh plays okay, averages 6 kicks a game.
1984 round 18
Phillip Walsh gets 12 kicks, blankets Micky Conlan, and kicks a goal.
Speculation mounts that Walsh might be "ready"
1984 round 19
AGAINST RICHMOND
Phillip Walsh burns off 3 opponents, gathers 26 kicks, and inspires
teammates with courage and maturity. In the last quarter he creates
"theatre" by sprinting around the wing, baulking 4 opponents (including The
Ghost) and kicking a long raking goal that later features in a
play-of-the-year, goal-of-the-year rookie-of-the-year Channel Seven "Season
'84" highlights montage.
1984 rounds 20-22
Phillip Walsh plays okay, average 6 kicks.
1984 end of year
Phillip walsh wins Rising Star award, thanks to swag of votes earned against
Richmond in rounds 8 and 19.
1985
Richmond buys Phillip Walsh.
1985 Season
Phillip Walsh struggles. Finally dropped after being held kickless by Neil
Peart. Plays in the twos and is eventually released to Brisbane.
1986
Richmond buys Neil Peart.
OTHER GOOD ORDINARY PLAYERS TO STAR AGAINST RICHMOND
Anyone given a crack at full-forward between 1986 and 1993.
ALL-TIME BEST GOOD ORDINARY PLAYER JINX
Teddy Hopkins
Because as every footy fan knows, it's not how many they play, it's WHEN
they PLAY them.
PS: Phillip Walsh story is totally true. So it would be petty to chech
details such as date of Walsh's first game, 1984 round numbers 8 and 19,
1984 itself, Micky Conlan, etc. I must say though that the highlights
montage is especially totally true.
Regards,
Stuart McArthur
____________________________________
Date: Wed, 4 Apr 2001 09:38:36 +1000
From: Glenn
The one that immediately springs to mind is Darren Bewick and his effort
against Geelong in the Centenary(?) match at The G.
Okay, Darren wasn't necessarily ordinary and was probably in Essendons top
25 every week, but he came out and kick eight goals - 8 BLOODY GOALS!
I reckon he only had seven kicks that night and he's put eight through the
big sticks. And he was jagging them from everywhere; out of packs, on the
boundary line, over the boundary line (which obviously wasn't spotted by
Blind Pugh and his white maggot mates), next to the goal post, behind the
goal post, on top of the goal post; outside fifty, in the square and in the
bar. Horrible night.
Good to have you back.
Glenn from Newport.
Date: Wed, 4 Apr 2001 15:09:08 +1000
From: Peter Begley
When talking about a good ordinary player, surely you can't go past
Carlton's boom recruit of the 1981 season, Peter Bosustow. It was this
quote that the famous Captain Blood, Jack Dyer made famous when asked on
the World of Sport footy panel regarding player Bosustow's football
prowess.
Two games stand out during this season, both against Geelong:
1. the Home and Away game at Princess Park where he soared over John
Mossop's head to pull down a screamer. This eventually won him 'Mark of
the Year'.
2. The 2nd Semi Final at then V.F.L Park, where, in the first quarter,
he pounced on the player Bruce Nankervis, smothered his clearing kick in
the tight back pocket, grabbed the ball and on an acute angle, kicked it
over his left shoulder for a miraculous goal. This goal actually won him
the 'Goal of the Year'.
Has this ever happened before where a player wins Mark and Goal
of the Year. 'A good average player', Peter Bosustow could not be more
deserving.
Date: Wed, 4 Apr 2001 17:00:39 +1000
From: Peter O'Sullivan
Dear Simon,
There's a bloke that's been running around in a
AAA Kangaroo jumper for the last 10 years.
When Denis Pagan is facing the media
for the after match press conference
this player's name is never spoken.
In fact, if Denis had his way,
we would all believe that this player
was actually a myth and did not exist at all.
Rumour has it that he wears a number
somewhere between 17 and 19
His name can never be spoken
but he always kills Collingwood
Kind Regards
Date: Wed, 4 Apr 2001 07:18:06 EDT
From: BCowan1947@aol.com
good ordinary players!!!!!!!!!!
THERE IS ONLY ONE OF THAT BREED IN EXISTANCE.
Have any of Football supporter since year dot ever heard of of of of
TED HOPKINS???
Is that blonde headed, very average good player, fully aware of the damage he
single handedly wrought on the 1st Battalion of the Royal Australian Regiment
in September 1970, when he, without any thought of the moral of Australian
servicemen loyally serving their country in far flung outposts, played the
only half way decent game of his (otherwise pathetic) career.
That unthinking, self centered, unpatratiotic excuse for a footballer
(typical Carlton product) cost me $100 in a bet with a NSW person, who had no
right to even be thinking VFL in 1970, just because that other excuse for a
coach (R. Barassi), told him to HARHG.
My anger spread out throught the Battalion to the extent that we lost the All
Singapore nude Leapfrog Championship to a visiting French Naval Ship, who
showed a greater concentratio than "My Boys" who were feeling that being in
front at half time, when we knew in our hearts of hearts, no matter how much
you bend over to the task, some somebody will rise to the occasion and leap
over you to have theit 15 minutes of glory.
Hopkins - shame, shame,shame.
Sadder still was the follow on effect when our Lightweigh Tug-O-War team
inadvertently became extremely close freinds when their training partners, of
hearing of the outrage, dropped their end of the rope without warning.
Good ordinary players - Ted Hopkins, you stand condemmed!
Regards,
Bill Cowan
Date: Thu, 5 Apr 2001 15:36:04 +1000
From: "BULL,TRAVIS (HP-Australia,ex2)"
It wasn't fair last sunday, my day in the MCC was ruined when a average
player took apart the dees for the 2nd year in a row.
That player is number 12 for the tigers. Sorry don't know his name, threw
the record away after the loss. I mean the guys hardly ever makes tigers
team what 5 games over the last 2 seasons. The only 2 good games he's played
in last 2 season were against the dees. He couldn't even hold his form last
year cause when we played them again in round 17 were was he?
Regards
Travis Bull
DUD PLAYERS WOT KILLED US
When it comes to ordinary players who ALWAYS played well against my team, two excruciatingly painful words spring immediately to mind. It pains me to type them out even …. …. TED HOPKINS Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!!!!!
Andrew McDonald
Date: Thu, 5 Apr 2001 20:54:42 +1000
From: grant
Anyone in white. They hate us.
We were crucified in 70, Wayne Harmes was that far over the lineÝhe was
nearly ejected from the ground for not having a ticket.
The night Grand Final we were crucified again.
Any Swans Game.....The hate us up there Tony.
Any Carlton game..The AFL don't want us to beat Carlton
What about Phil Carmen in '77 he was crucified at the Tribunal. Cost us a
flag.Ý
My Dad can go back to when we were crucified in 1934 Its in bred into
them Tony!
They can't help it.Ý
I wanna know what they have against us...We ARE Football.
GO Pies
Ý
Signed.
"Give the Brownlow to Buckley now action faction"
02 60247870
Date: Fri, 6 Apr 2001 00:15:18 +1000
From: "Treseder, Peter"
Simon,
Before I make my nomination for this competition let me state the method in
my madness. Being a premiership player or kicking 100 goals in a season
does not make one great. There are two supporting cases for this.....Daryl
Freeme, 1980 premiership player and Larry Donohue.
Big Larry always seemed to kick a bag against the tigers, I don't know the
facts but I am sure, and Bondy may back me up, but I think Larry kicked over
1/2 his goals against the tigers. The most vivid memory was a game at the
"G" when the big hack kicked 8 and that cost me a $1.00 bet (a big amount to
a year 8 school boy in the 70's). I made the bet he wouldn't kick more than
3.
If I could put a twist in the competition rules, which is often allowed.
Can I nominate Shand as the biggest hack who was always given the job of
playing on opposition guns. I can remember in the late 80's, not a good
time for the Tigers, when in three consectutive weeks he was given the
following players to nullify. Flower, Matthews and Ablett. If memory
serves, all 3 players had 6 goals by halftime, yet each week he was a Lamb
(another example of my opening comments) to the slaughter.
I'm glad these days that you play your best backman on the oppositions best
forward. Hang on, scary thought, maybe he was our best backman.
Peter "Trash" Treseder
Date: Fri, 06 Apr 2001 10:31:57 +1000
From: paul russo
Subject: annoying players
From the 3366 Faction (it's not a postcode) -Paul Russo/John Clements
We have decided to name an UMPIRE who always used to do well against our club.
In the 70's we would arrive at the ground and look up at the scoreboard
waiting for the umpires numbers to appear. And if the number corresponding
to Ian Robinson came up a collective groan would be heard around the ground
and half the crowd would go home before the teams ran out. And if he
appeared with a new perm in his hair then half of who was remaining also left.
Don Jolley also used to do particularly well against Collingwood,
especially after the 1970 GF.
Paul Russo
Date: 5 Apr 2001 19:00:31 MDT
From: michael hogg
Subject: re: bad players starring
g'day guys
great to have you back
don't have much time to think on this but didn't the big man with the big
blonde mullet that wore no.17 for geelong in 1989 kick a big bag against
fitzroy and then he did it the next week. of course i'm talking about
everyone's favourite gavin excel.
thanks boys
hoggy
Date: Fri, 6 Apr 2001 11:07:42 +1000
From: Matt Laing
Matty Laing, Yarra Valley Old Boys F.C.
Date: Fri, 6 Apr 2001 11:36:54 +1000
From: Doug Long
DEAR SIMON,
An ordinary opposition player who always plays well against my team–
none come to mind.
PS: I disagree with the panel’s assessment of Essedon.
Make no mistake about it: The Bombers are GONE.
GONE GONE GONE GONE
Here are the reasons:
1. It is extremely difficult to be the best team three years in a row
(they were the best side in 1999 AND 2000– see Tony for
clarification). No team has achieved this since the 1950s.
2. The other teams have conspired to lure the Bombers into
overconfidence (by going easy on them for the first few rounds)
before moving in for the kill.
Not convinced!
Why just look at how many AAA Kangaroos stars mysteriously missed the
round one clash.
Still not convinced!
All the close games last week– the exception was the flogging of
Crows and the Eagles (this was considered okay!)– were engineered in
order to ensure Essedon were on top of the ladder
Still not convinced!
Then why did the Cats allow the impotent Eagles to snag a few goals late
in the game to bring Geelong’s percentage back below Essedon’s.
Still not convinced!
What about the sledging the Bombers copped from Port in the Ansett Cup -
perfect ammunition for Sheedy in last night’s game!
And the Sheedy insult from the normally circumspect Carlton President!
Why else would he say such a thing?
More ammunition!
The scheme is clearly working. After 5 rounds, the Bombers will be a game
and big percentage clear on top. Then it will be evident to ALL how
correct I am and therefore, logically, how VERY GONE they Bombers will
are.
Doug Long
Date: Fri, 6 Apr 2001 12:04:55 +1000
From: Garry Aggett
THE GREMLIN
Now, all football players are brave,
And some are braver than others,
From Captain Blood to Campbo,
They fought in the trenches as brothers.
But there was a man, one man,
And I curse it all when I'm drunk,
That once Brett Allison kicked goals,
I knew the Tigers were sunk.
His lot, to me seemed amazing,
Like for the year he had nothing to do,
Except wait for the Tigers unsuspecting,
Then goal after goal, guess who?
We all, I expect have our Gremlins,
The nightmares that pop up Round 2,
But we had Allison, lurking in shadows,
And good God, there was Somerville too!
Garry Aggett
Date: Fri, 06 Apr 2001 17:00:07 +1000
From: Julian Toohey
gday fellas,
being a stkilda supporter, all the life, it would be fair to say that a lot
of players have a day out against stkilda.
of more recent times, since the inception of fremantle dockers to the afl.
stkildas bogey man, who is regarded as a good ordinary player is the
fremantle football club, where it is fair to say, that the sum of their
players talents, accrue to about the talent of one good ordinary player at
any point in time.
hence the fremantle football club is the one ordinary (player), who always
has a day out against the saints.
the record between stkilda v freo stands at 5 to the dockers and 2 to
stkilda.
Julian Toohey
Date: Fri, 6 Apr 2001 22:44:16 +1000
From: rohanandannette
Mark Aceri ( I hoped I've spelt his name correctly....then again, I hope
I haven't) always used to trouble the Doggies. As a nippy little Rover
for North Melbourne he could always be relied upon to kick a few goals,
lay a few tackles and generally be a thorn in the side of Footscray
players and supporters alike. So imagine my joy when the Roos traded him
to Carlton at the end of 1990. " You little beauty," I thought. Surely
that's got to upset the equilibrium and the Mark Aceri like domination
that I've known to fear and hate will simply disappear into the
ether....how wrong can you get!
Blues vs. Dogs... Western Oval,
1991. Freezing, wet, muddy and windy....grouse cold cans of Midori and
lemonade, but. The three-quarter time scoreboard presented those lucky
enough to be at the ground with a beautiful set of numbers. ( You
remember Tone.) Well to be honest, I've forgotten the exact score, but
we'd kicked six goals something, to their no goals, eight points. The
game was ours, but the real interest lay in keeping the Blues goaless in
the final quarter. By the 25 minute mark everything had gone to
plan....we'd added twoÝmajors to bring our goal tally to eight for the
game....they'd added two points to be 0.10.10. But then....disaster
struck. With a minute and a half of play remaining, the ball was kicked
hurriedly into the Carlton forward line. Who should find himselfÝfalling
forward to take a diving,fumbling mark. None other than the Doggie's arch
nemesis, Mark "Dr. Evil" Aceri. Do I need to go on....you all know the
rest. He calmly threads the goal, the siren goes one minute later and
Doggies supporters are left to lament the pre-season trade that landed
him at Carlton.ÝMy everlasting memory of this sad day for football is of
his opponent, Steve MacPhearson, directly after that goal. He was most
unhappy with this turn of events, and significantly, I can't remember
Aceri troubling the Doggies in too many matches after that. Perhaps Super
drowned him in the muddy forward pocket after the siren....
Love the show fellas. Best wishes. Rohan Leonard
Date: Sat, 7 Apr 2001 01:19:43 +1000
From: Wilson
I suggest thatyou might consider a competition based around the recently
established "David Parkin Boredom Index" or DPBI. This index clearly has
the potential to rival in importance such indices as the All Ords, the
Dow Jones, the Nikkei, etc.
For instance imagine what might happen to theÝDPBI, in the highly
unlikely event of Essington losing a game between now and 2020.Ý This
would be akin to the Nasdaq reversing all of its losses of the last 12
months, and quite frankly that would not be a boring event in either
football or sharemarket investing. The index would literally leap off
the page causing chartists and other DPBI experts to speculateÝas to
whether or not at long last they "might be gone" and is this the
beginning ofÝa new "bull market". No such *@*!% luck.
Anyway there are many other much more imaginative Coodabeens listeners
who could do far greater justice to defining the DPBI etc and it might
make for an interesting competition.
Good luck for 2001 and onwards.
Merv Wilson
However one of your saints comes to mind on wintry Saturday afternoons
down at Linton St.
No. 7 Robert Mace seemed to always come good against the blues, and I
remember one particular day, I think it might have been Barry Breen's
300th, when this Mace fellow kicked 7 goals to provide Barry with a happy
300th.
Thanks For Consideration
Brian Searle
Peter from Gisborne